Interestingly English!

procrastnator
By procrastnator

Read this, makes you realize why English is a complex language

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...

13) They were too close to the door to close it..

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

By chocaholic• 4 May 2011 12:24
chocaholic

Yes, in many more cases than not, it's 'American' that causes the problems and confusions with 'English'.

:)

By chocaholic• 4 May 2011 12:22
chocaholic

Know that scenario in the Peter Sellers film (I think it was 'There's a Girl in my Soup'), where the bellboy wishes the (apparently) honeymooning couple 'a penis'? :D

By drsam• 4 May 2011 12:13
drsam

The word “inflammable” came from Latin “'inflammāre” where the prefix “in” means "able" to flames rather than “not” . In the United States, this safety hazard is typically avoided by use of flammable, despite its not being the proper Latin-derived term, on warning labels referring to physical combustibility.

By Suhail Shaker• 4 May 2011 11:30
Suhail Shaker

This reminds me of the simpson's episode where the scientist who blows himself up while running an experiment sees a bottle that has a "Inflammable" label on it.

He screams:

"Inflammable Means Flammable? What A Country!"

By britexpat• 4 May 2011 10:24
britexpat

English is not easy for the French..

Many years ago, when Charles deGaulle decided to visit England, he was invited to a gala dinner party in

his honour. At the dinner table the hostess was talking

with Madame deGaulle.

"Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and International scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"

"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...and no one knew what to say next.

Finally, Le Grand Charles leaned over to His wife and said,

"Ma cherie, I believe zee British pronounce zat word, `appiness."

By drsam• 4 May 2011 10:13
drsam

u can't. it's only by practice :(

and this was the main issue that prevented me from teaching many friends french. arabic is the same also

sun is a she (he in french - le soleil), moon is a he (she in french-la lune)

no rule, just practice.

By nessa134• 4 May 2011 09:33
nessa134

Wonderful! Well shared!

And would it not be such a delight to marvel at nuances in other languages too? Sadly not on Qatar Living where the only language in common is English.

By anonymous• 4 May 2011 09:24
anonymous

I found French lot stranger than English.

I could never get past la, le, les.. Can't they use one word for "the". How do I know what is male and what is female in French, everything sounds so gay :(

By anonymous• 4 May 2011 09:22
anonymous

It's all true. I remember telling a french friend of mine that it was easy - a piece of cake. Cue lots of confusion - But where is the cake? You were talking about cake!

And another, that guy has just walked out of the wardrobe.

Ummmn, no - he came out of the closet.

*sigh*

By happygolucky• 4 May 2011 08:21
happygolucky

I won't call it a crazy language but may be funny language...:)

By dpatrick• 4 May 2011 08:17
dpatrick

These sentences are funny, but any English editor worth his (or her) salt won't allow any of these to be used because of the confusion they could cause and the appearance of redundancy.

But, yes, like any other language (including Arabic, I'm sure), English works in some very interesting ways. For instance, this classic example: "If a vegetarian eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?"

By soniya• 4 May 2011 08:12
soniya

And this is the reason why ENGLISH has become a primary language in most of the schools and colleges in few countries...

By anonymous• 4 May 2011 07:56
anonymous

A word can have more than two meanings. It's called 'semantics', and relies on the context in which a word is used and the cultural (religious) background.

By DaRuDe• 4 May 2011 07:40
DaRuDe

every word kinda have 2 meanings.

By hislam• 4 May 2011 07:40
hislam

When you are trying to teach a child the the sound "K"

might be c, ch, ck, k or q while English people are still confident enough to mock up German and claim being the one for Europe unified language.

By strawberry_shisha• 4 May 2011 07:23
strawberry_shisha

i love english...period! :)

By FathimaH• 4 May 2011 07:02
FathimaH

Can't live without it..In my large mixed race family its the only language spoken by everyone hence its unifying!

By Steve1• 4 May 2011 06:51
Steve1

Very good article, no wonder English as a second language causes issues!

By anonymous• 4 May 2011 06:12
anonymous

I DONT SEE ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT. IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW WE USE AND HOW TO UNDERSTAND IT.....

By anonymous• 3 May 2011 23:26
anonymous

By the way - the OP should have read - Interesting use off written English :-)

By anonymous• 3 May 2011 23:24
anonymous

This is the beauty of the English language - I love it- I have studied it and other languages but still - I find it the most interesting :-)

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