In honour of Khalid the Tiger/Master78

he asked, I replied. I don't see how I'm mocking him.

Community Guideline no. 7

If you are not interested in a topic or think someone is asking a silly question, just move onto another post instead of insulting or mocking them.

I don't thanks.

I grew up thinking religion was ridiculous

Journey from Atheism to Islam stunned, disappointed parents

Five months before their marriage, Karen Meek's fiancé told her that he was becoming a Muslim. Ms. Meek, an atheist, was taken aback.

"I thought he was being brainwashed into something," she said. "All of a sudden he stopped drinking alcohol. He wanted to pray every day. He stopped eating pork."

if you want to read more:

http://muslimconverts.com/newmuslims/Karen_Meek.htm

My real point is so what? Who cares how many sex partners someone has?

You are discrediting the source of the information... fine I give it to you...

But you are not discrediting the fact that homosexuals on average have more sex partners...

So what is your real point?

If you look at the magazines that are mentioned they are research and medical journals for the most part, which have articles that are submitted by doctors. The thing about the magazines is it seeks to fill pages and sell magazines so they don't care if the doctor in question is, say, funded by the Anti-Homosexual League and his data is highly questionable, in fact they would probably prefer it because it would sell more magazines due to the controversy. But I'm sure you understand the basic mechanics of selling a magazine and supply & demand. Also I'm sure you realize that statistics based on polls (especially ones dealing with sex) are ALWAYS highly skewed, based on the questions asked and those polled. We don't know where or what homosexuals he was asking, or what the question is, so the results are suspect by that alone.

Depends which homosexuals you're talking about, as I said lesbians have less partners then heterosexuals. Homosexuals more (which isn't surprising as men in general have less hang-ups about sex). My point is so what?

I have the same thing to say to you that I had to say to fubar...

take up any specific topic and let us discuss it...

Lets have a different pick this time... since your issue is with promiscuity...

you think that magazines that refer to the wanton promiscuity of homosexuals are exaggerating the statistics

Are you implying that on average homosexuals have the same number of sex partners as heterosexuals?

ROFLing, yes I always go to the Catholics when I want "factual" statistics on homosexuality. :P These stats are "cheery picked" from magazine articles that had an anti-homosexual bias to begin with. I've read other stats that state that most homosexual men have 200 partners in a lifetime and lesbians on average 3! (which is far below heterosexual men & women who average between 20 & 15). www.trojan.com frankly I trust them more then the Catholics.

And also, as Missx points out, theres a difference between sex with children and sex with older teenagers. Please find me a heterosexual man who doesn't like looking at 16 year old cheerleaders. Can anyone say "Hit me Baby One More Time"??

what are you talking about?

keep personal issues aside

stick to the topic

thread about Gypsy and myself, stating that we behave badly and get away with it when others do not. The most amusing part of all of this is that you quoted QL guidelines -- and then proceeded to break them:

Do not create topics or posts that criticise, bully or insult other Qatar Living members, and do not flame (e.g. provoke other Qatar Living member into arguments) or impersonate other people. If you wish to make a complaint against another Qatar Living member, please use the "Report Abuse" form on the Contact page.

Now how about that?

Doh!

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Ok so, you're not a pedophile if you have sex with children as long as your prefer it with adults. Is that what you're saying?

Laughing.

Like I said. You seem to have this inability to corroborate information you have, with the real world. Yes a pedophile is someone who enjoys having sex with children, but it also applies to people who do have sex with children if you look at the first and second criteria in the DSM IV, whether it's their preferred partner or not. If those 14 year olds you mentioned are having sex with adults, and are found out. The adults are charged with statutory rape.

Like I have said before, pedophile is used to describe an adult who has sex with underage children. You are the one who is adding negative connotations to it. There is actually a debate going on in the psychology world on whether all pedophilia is actually a psychological disorder, or merely a moral one. You are only offended by me calling someone a pedophile because YOU think it is wrong.

your perception is blinded by your bias

your definition of a pedophile is WRONG

Look in to any dictionary...

Oxford

a person who is sexually attracted to children

Merriam Webster

sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), pedophilia is specified as a form of paraphilia in which a person either has acted on intense sexual urges towards children, or experiences recurrent sexual urges towards and fantasies about children that cause distress or interpersonal difficult

Now you want me to ignore the literary and medical definition of the term so that you can put forward a warped idea of yours...

33% of 9th graders in the US have had sex. So does that make the other 33% of the US who had sex with these

I do like making new friends.

A pedophile is someone who has sex with children. Go make your own conclusions without the typical hands over your ears and eyes closed.

And btw, those statistics are laughable. If you had any ability to corroborate things you have been told, and real world information, you would realise that. For example 43% of homosexual people admit to having 500 partners, and 28% admit to having over 1000 partners in a lifetime. lol They WISH they did haha.

And for your information, pedophilia with same sex children, are not considered homosexual for that reason alone. Homosexuals are people who can form loving permanent passionate relationships with people of the same sex. If we assigned a name to everybody who can orgasm from things other than an opposite sex partner, then we would have a world full of handexuals.

Promiscuity doesn't lead to the transmission of STDs. Unsafe sexual activity does.

You can contract HIV after just sleeping with 1 person.

You can practise safe sex and sleep with 1000 and not contract anything.

As I said before, I have no sympathy for people who don't engage in safe sexual conduct because 'it can't happen to them' or 'only gays get AIDS'.

As my mother used to say:

"If it's not on, it's not on".

Give homosexuals credit where its due... they are better aware of STD prevention than the average heterosexuals... they take the risk knowingly...

As for why it is more common... it is not because of no risk of pregnancy ugh!!!

Anyway, one major reason is their wanton promiscuity

I'll let you research on your own as to what the other major reason might be

The problem then wouldn't be with your sexual partner, but with your lack of contraception then.

STD transmission amongst homosexual men are possibly higher as there is no risk of pregnancy.

Assuming women don't wish to get pregnant then they would be well advised to practise safe sex, if they want to avoid contracting STDs.

I have no sympathy for people contracting easily preventable contagious diseases, whether gay, straight or drunk.

I thought you were favorable to or at the very best indifferent to homosexuality... ironic then that you are playing the homo card to intimidate me...

Anyway...

the thrust of my post was how homosexuality is an unhealthy practice from a health and social perspective

It hasn't occurred to you that this information is of interest to ladies who might consider having sex with bisexual men

But of course... all that is lost on you...

The burden of proof isn't on the reader to disprove what's presented, it is on the person providing it.

I've got no idea what % of homosexual or heterosexual men or women suffer from STDs and nor am I particularly preoccupied by it.

The whole thrust of your post seems to be that we should all be affraid of homosexuals because they may have STDs.

Well the simple solution would be to NOT HAVE SEX with them, wouldn't it?

Why would any heterosexual man be remotely concerned about whether or not gay men are transmitting syphili to other gay men through sexual intercourse?

Unless of course you are planning on having sex with men.

Now that might be a reason to get concerned........

sorry... I thought you were actually taking a stance

Now I realize you are just being a spoilt brat demanding that the information be bottle fed to you instead of you going out and seeking it on your own...

Anyway... here... bottoms up...

Since you are so eager on CDC... here is some interesting statistics on HIV/AIDS in the US

Of new infections among men in the United States, CDC estimates that approximately 60 percent of men were infected through homosexual sex, 25 percent through injection drug use, and 15 percent through heterosexual sex. Of newly infected men, approximately 50 percent are black, 30 percent are white, 20 percent are Hispanic, and a small percentage are members of other racial/ethnic groups.

"What % of heterosexuals are affected by STDs?"

I invite you to dig out the exact number from the survey you presented and present it for everyone's benefit

"Why just use *one study*? Did they just cherry pick the data that best suited their previously held beliefs? And again, why is no corresponding data provided for heterosexuals?"

That is just ridiculous logic!!! What are you saying? That they should use two studies?!?!

"The (5) directs the reader to a study that is over 20 years old. Why look back so far when there is data compiled every year by the CDC? Why not provide the up to date data?"

So what if the study is 20 years old? Has gonorrhea or syphilis undergone any drastic transformations in the last 20 years?

"And was the sexual health data collected from sexual health clinics?"

Here you are just speculating... which study is based on data collected from health clinics?

"How do they know that all the reported cases of syphilis are either homosexual or heterosexual? Do they do a blood test to find out? How do they capture undisclosed homosexuals in the data?"

Again you are just speculating, you have not presented any proof to indicate that the studies did not categorize homosexuals and heterosexuals in the right manner

"You are claiming that homosexuals are equally likely to have STDs as are heterosexuals..."

No I'm not. Where did I say that?

I just said that I'd like to see the statistics for both groups.

Or to quote me from above:

"What % of heterosexuals are affected by STDs?

Without a comparison, that number is quite meaningless."

Nowhere do I claim that that the infection rates are distributed evenly throughout the population groups.

Don't put words in my mouth, at worst it makes you look illiterate. At best you just look careless and a wee bit, um, 'simple'.

I invite you to go to the website, survey the sources and come back with a specific objection if you have any instead of speculating broadly...

I am willing to take you up on the incidences of STDs in heterosexuals as opposed to homosexuals... which was the first case you have brought up...

You are claiming that homosexuals are equally likely to have STDs as are heterosexuals...

Is this a premise you are willing to defend?

Dodgy statistics, mostly.

For instance:

"78% of homosexuals are affected by STDs"

What % of heterosexuals are affected by STDs?

Without a comparison, that number is quite meaningless.

STDs are high in the heterosexual population too:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats07/Surv2007FINAL.pdf

Or this statistician's worst nightmare:

"Of homosexuals questioned in *one study* reports that 43% admit to 500 or more partners in a lifetime, 28% admit to 1000 or more in a lifetime, and of these people, 79% say that half of those partners are total strangers, and 70% of those sexual contacts are one night stands (or, as one homosexual admits in the film "The Castro", one minute stands)"

Why just use *one study*? Did they just cherry pick the data that best suited their previously held beliefs? And again, why is no corresponding data provided for heterosexuals?

"Homosexuals account for 3-4% of all gonorrhea cases, 60% of all syphilis cases, and 17% of all hospital admissions (other than for STDs) in the United States (5)."

The (5) directs the reader to a study that is over 20 years old. Why look back so far when there is data compiled every year by the CDC? Why not provide the up to date data?

And was the sexual health data collected from sexual health clinics? If so, surely then that's like assuming that the typical patient at a dentist is representative of the population at large. If I surveyed people in the dentist's waiting room I could conclude 98% of people need cavities, and if I was in the eye clinic I could assume that 75% of people are short sighted.

How do they know that all the reported cases of syphilis are either homosexual or heterosexual? Do they do a blood test to find out? How do they capture undisclosed homosexuals in the data?

All those 'facts' are numbers that no reasonable, thinking person would take at face value.

There is too much noise in the data and too many lingering questions about its collection and interpretation for anyone to take it seriously.

sexual perversion in which children are the 'preferred' sexual object

I know where you are going... keep doing it and you'll make new friends

should I ask?

What's pedophilia to you verisi?

good idea LIB... lets also do the same with all the people who practice Bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia, exhibitionism, fetishism, frotteurism, masochism, sadism, transvestitism, voyeurism etc....

...do we do now? Kill them all? They are also human beings and deserve to be treated as equal just like everyone else. Spreading hate will not help.You should not only oppose people who oppose your religion.You should promote peace.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Some statistics about the Homosexual lifestyle:

* 78% of homosexuals are affected by STDs

* About 50% of the women on death row are lesbians

Homosexuals prey on children.

* 33% of homosexuals ADMIT to minor/adult sex

* One study reports that the average homosexual has between 20 and 106 partners per year

* Many homosexuals admit that they are pedophiles: "The love between men and boys is at the foundation of homosexuality"

* Homosexuals account for a disproportionate number of hepatitis cases: 70-80% in San Francisco, 29% in Denver, 66% in New York City, 56% in Toronto, 42% in Montreal, and 26% in Melbourne

* Homosexuals account for 3-4% of all gonorrhea cases, 60% of all syphilis cases, and 17% of all hospital admissions (other than for STDs) in the United States (5). They make up only 1-2% of the population

* Homosexuals live unhealthy lifestyles, and have historically accounted for the bulk of syphilis, gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, the "gay bowel syndrome" (which attacks the intestinal tract), tuberculosis and cytomegalovirus

* 25-33% of homosexuals and lesbians are alcoholics

* Of homosexuals questioned in one study reports that 43% admit to 500 or more partners in a lifetime, 28% admit to 1000 or more in a lifetime, and of these people, 79% say that half of those partners are total strangers, and 70% of those sexual contacts are one night stands (or, as one homosexual admits in the film "The Castro", one minute stands)

* Judge John Martaugh, chief magistrate of the New York City Criminal Court has said, "Homosexuals account for half the murders in large cities"

* Captain William Riddle of the Los Angeles Police says, "30,000 sexually abused children in Los Angeles were victims of homosexuals"

* 50% of suicides can be attributed to homosexuals

* Homosexuals were responsible for spreading AIDS in the United States, and then raised up violent groups like Act Up and Ground Zero to complain about it. Even today, homosexuals account for well over 50% of the AIDS cases in the United States, which is quite a large number considering that they account for only 1-2% of the population

* 37% of homosexuals engage in sadomasochism, which accounts for many accidental deaths. In San Francisco, classes were held to teach homosexuals how to not kill their partners during sadomasochism

* 41% of homosexuals say they have had sex with strangers in public restrooms, 60% say they have had sex with strangers in bathhouses, and 64% of these encounters have involved the use of illegal drugs

* Depending on the city, 39-59% of homosexuals are infected with intestinal parasites like worms, flukes and amoebae, which is common in filthy third world countries

* The median age of death of homosexuals is 42 (only 9% live past age 65). This drops to 39 if the cause of death is AIDS. The median age of death of a married heterosexual man is 75

* The median age of death of lesbians is 45 (only 24% live past age 65). The median age of death of a married heterosexual woman is 79

* Homosexuals are 100 times more likely to be murdered (usually by another homosexual) than the average person, 25 times more likely to commit suicide, and 19 times more likely to die in a traffic accident

* 21% of lesbians die of murder, suicide or traffic accident, which is at a rate of 534 times higher than the number of white heterosexual females aged 25-44 who die of these things

* There is a notable homosexual group, consisting of thousands of members, known as the North American Man and Boy Love Association ( NAMBLA). This is a child molesting homosexual group whose cry is "SEX BEFORE 8 BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE." This group can be seen marching in most major homosexual parades across the United States

* Homosexuals commit more than 33% of all reported child molestations in the United States, which, assuming homosexuals make up 2% of the population, means that 1 in 20 homosexuals is a child molestor, while 1 in 490 heterosexuals is a child molestor

* 73% of all homosexuals have had sex with boys under 19 years of age

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1502263/posts

How Islam views the Universal Creation?

Here is the web site:

http://www.al-islam....

It is a debate or conversation between Wilson and Cheri and I am sure many of you will like it.

That's fine. Just don't try to get me banned for it ;)

Would appear so. Sadly nobody seems to want to give me my punishment. :(

Heterosexuals get jailed much more often the homosexuals in this country.

Men and women can't even hold hands without the police getting irate.

I can smell the stench of.................. and it's back in QL.

The internet is our revenge machine

veri-sweeta aka crusader for forgettable causes, Im back. Punching bag awaits u. I wouldnt mind if you ignored me, hear that usually gets me to shut up.

...and just because it 'happens' doesn't make it right.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Depending on what they do, it is the homophobics who get jailed in my country.

I don't think the jails are big enough.

Mandi

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way...

Its the homosexuals who get jailed... not the homophobics...

But you should try selling the idea... put that on a placard and stage a protest in front of any Qatari Government office of your choice...

...gays are not the problem.The people who are homophobic are. Action should be taken on these homophobics and they sent be sent to the Capital Police Station. All of them. World be a much better place.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

If you love your gay friends so much, You should put that on a cardboard sign and camp in front of the Capital Police Station... cos that's where the gay people end up when they are caught in action :-(

you've done your bit...

now shoosh... scurry along...

"Sorry to Insult but I think you like Gay people"

Bwahahahahahah

I LOVE GAY PEOPLE TOOOOOOOOO.

Sorry to insult you, but your intolerance is pitiable.

Just in case my veri-sweeta comes back...I wont be online for a short while but will be back soonest. Dont want u thinking Iv choked on the rabbits foot, yes? Miss me not. Mwaaah!

...allowed?lol :)

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

yes veri, move on to another topic and again its khalid and his preaching...lol

veri....see I even enlighten you. Aaaah! What else, what else?

you putting your rabbit foot in your own mouth turned out to be lucky for me... Now I know why they consider a rabbit's foot lucky

From the looks of it Gypsy... no one wants to spank you...

My my Gypsy, ur getting people's BP up. Well Iv been a very bad boy. I should be banned.

veri...anytime. Lemme know when you need other favours. Seems u need all the help u can get.

I've been a bad bad girl :P Who wants to spank me?

johnpur...

"If you are not interested in a topic or think someone is asking a silly question, just move onto another post instead of insulting or mocking them."

labda...

thank you for proving my point

As for Gypsy not calling for anyone to be banned... good for her... but there are those like labda who do and yet he justifies this thread... this is the double standard I was referring to

Bottomline... everyone HAS to follow the code of ethics laid out for the community (in this case QL community) and cannot justify going against that by subscribing to something that he or she personally believes is a HIGHER code of conduct...

I can see Gypsys HIGHER code of conduct in her view on homosexuals... In the west, the gay community may be accepted... But here, homosexuality is banned... and if Khalid sees the practice as immoral, he has every right to do so... and he has the right to judge them, the same way a person from the West can judge an immigrant Muslim who practices polygamy when it is against the law of the land...

Anyway, I had requested for this thread to be deleted... I wish I hadn't... it should be left standing so it leaves a guilt ridden stink for everyone to witness...

Respect you need to respect your elders always :D

Try it Da and I'll kick your azz all the way back to Afgahistan.

i am going to attack her very badly this time with a bamboo stick

Gypsy has been the subject of many direct and implied attacks, either in forum topics or in threads. I can’t recall her ever kicking up a stink and demanding that people be banned.

There’s only one group of people who bay for blood on QL, and Gypsy isn’t amongst them.

Nope i have never seen them calling the admins to ban a member.

now its like fight btwn 2 guys or say competition btwn 2 the weaker one will always look for help around him to skip the moment or get rid of opponent. same are you trying to seek mod attention here to get rid of members who arent willing to obey guidelines.

veri, why do you have a problem with the fact that some of us just dont like whiners and prefer those who bring intellectual and witty discussions to the table? Yes I would be baying for blood if this thread was about Gypsy. Boo-hoo.

verisimilitude, maybe there's nothing wrong with khalids postings but im sick of scrolling down the topics list and find most of it is from khalid and it's all about how to be a better person,how to be good,religion. etc....bla,...bla...bla

I've never called for anyone to be banned. I think banning is stupid.

I point out obvious violations of community guidelines when no one else seems to bother

Oddly, when some people do it... it bothers everyone... but when others do it... it doesn't bother them...

Don't get me wrong, I think the mods are doing a great job... can't expect them to police each thread round the clock

But the way people react... its very hypocritical...

If this thread were about say Gypsy or PM... you'd see the very same users crying for blood and wanting the poster banned... and all hell would break loose

(LIB, now don't try to prove me wrong by posting a new thread that does not intend to intimidate like this one does)

are you QL mod?

if you are QL mod then why dont you ban Gypsy rather than whining on QL forums every day about QL guidelines.

or should i say maybe Gypsy is mod and is letting you stay to see what you come up with and fire back at you with equal statement.

veri, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

FIVE-O! FIVE-O! QL POLICE ALERT!!!

Yes. Absolute shame. I'll smack myself on the hand later for it.

Its a shame that you violate community guidelines and don't get docked for it... And now you are flaunting it...

the community guideline also says

"If you are not interested in a topic or think someone is asking a silly question, just move onto another post instead of insulting or mocking them."

I have read Khalid the Tigers threads... don't find anything wrong with them

Yes I do like Gay People. Some of my best friends are gay....was that supposed to be an insult.

Yup Versi I disobeyed the Community Guidelines. However I'm not insulting him, just trying to match his..."philosophies" or as someone said in another thread, fight nonsense with nonsense.

verisimilitude, what do the guidelines say about honouring the likes of Khalid the kitty? Because this really is in honour of him. If you've ever had the (mis)fortune of coming across his threads, you'd understand.

I know, I know... it is big.

But hey, I have big feet...

You know what they say about men with big feet right?

***********seohs gib**********

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

It's a pic of Confuscious (bald) with the caption saying if the Creator made a mistake He would cover it with hair :D

-------------------------------------

Thanks:-)

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

LOL.... :-D

Xena, it's a big cartoon picture.

-------------------------------------

Khalid has the seventh sense. He sees Gay people.

pink box without any text infront of me? or did someone delete your posts again?

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

Think I better go back to school and learn to read again!

Becareful Khalid, we wouldn't want to start assuming that you might be gay, due to your preoccupation with finding it everywhere;-P

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

are you hanging out around a tailpipe again??

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

"Spirituality has nothing to do with religion"

I agree.

Start a thread and we can talk about it.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

I am not that petty

...it's a good idea.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Maybe I should start a topic with your pearl of wisdom for today... "Spirituality has nothing to do with religion"

...this thread will not be deleted because I personally like Gypsy's views and opinions. You can exercise other options if you will ;)

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

there are those who are above the community guidelines... but for what its worth...

This topic is in violation of Community Guideline 2

Do not create topics or posts that criticise, bully or insult other Qatar Living members, and do not flame (e.g. provoke other Qatar Living member into arguments) or impersonate other people. If you wish to make a complaint against another Qatar Living member, please use the "Report Abuse" form on the Contact page.

I for one voice my objection to this forum topic...

Good response Khalid. You've really shown your true intelligence and character there.

i always thought that ManKind consist of Manki and Nd. :) am i missing something?

*********************

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Absolutely nothing Qatarisun...some people have warped views on things :/

-------------------------------------

Khalid is a homophobic TIGER--G-R-O-W-L!!!

mandy, my thought is the same: what is insulting in 'liking' gays?

*********************

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

What? How do you get 'gay' from 'mank and 'ind'? That's a bit of a reach lol.

-------------------------------------

13.675% gay,according to my research. The percentage increases in people who are scared of gays.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

There's something wrong with gay people?

I like gay people.

Khalid, you are a very insecure individual. I also believe you're paranoid.

"I just do not understand." Ditto dude. :/

Wait a minute, Gypsy didn't say one syllable about Islam or homosexuality. What's not to understand? And I would not be insulted if you said that I liked gay people, even if this thread has nothing to do with gay people.

Mandi

where his A got replaced by an O and ind is the hind part of a tiger.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

What are you doing with gay people, khalid? Kill them?

You hate Islam and any thing related to Islam.

Every one here in Qatar living knows that you want to encourage the Gay culture.

Sorry to Insult but I think you like Gay people.

Maybe because you had something with Gay people.

I just do not understand.

since you mentioned the source later.Otherwise you would have been blamed by now ;)But whats this honouring thing?

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Speaking of grenades..

If we only recruited Gays into the armed forces, there would be no killing !!!

(Am I taking the thread off track ??)

BTW these are all the doings of Jack Handy, some of you might remember these from Saturday Night Live, just so I don't get told I'm plagerizing. :)

ROLF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahhahahhahhahahha...

Mank is almost Mancunian? I knew there was a reason I had an over-inflated sense of my own importance.

more..

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.