God upgrades to Vista - world will be better
A spokesman for Heaven has announced that God the Almighty, the Creator of the Universe, has taken the plunge and upgraded from Windows XP to Windows Vista. It is expected that stuff will be better, the world will be faster and there will be fewer system crashes.
The spokesman, calling himself Gabriel, and speaking through His Holiness the Pope, said:
"When Microsoft released the new version of Windows, God wanted to see how well it worked before upgrading. Using His Omnipotent Presence, He has been observing Vista on millions of PCs and laptops across the world simultaneously for 40 days and 40 nights, and has decided that it is good. He made up His mind earlier today to upgrade the Universe, He accordingly purchased Windows Vista Professional from Best Buy and He has been given a $99 mail-in rebate."
There has been speculation about exactly what aspects of life will improve, now that God is using the newer operating system. Unfortunately, nobody has been able to answer this question yet. The downside will be that global warning will accelerate and Foot & Mouth, Bird Flue and Blue Tongue will spread more quickly.
Due to hardware incompatibilities, President Bush, Amy Winehouse and Heather McCartney will cease functioning and become obsolete, though the Almighty hopes that nobody will notice the difference. Owners of Apple Macs will no longer be able to enter Heaven.
Gabriel added:
"If anyone knows how to hide the new sidebars, could he please mention it to the Almighty in his next prayer. The technical support number has unfortunately been engaged for hours."
(Clouds will have a picture of God on them as The Almighty changes his desktop theme)
Written by Noshing Mink
25 November 2007
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i27402
Which light you talking about?
..**.. ""They walk among us. They vote & they even reproduce"" ..**..
LET THERE BE LIGHT!
(and you could see for bloody miles!)
I, personally, think God would see the funny side of that silly old saying :D
topic.......
A Jewish Doctor was called to circumsize George Bush....
The docrtor's report came back, "Sorry, Can't be done - there is No end to this Prick !!!!"
..**.. ""They walk among us. They vote & they even reproduce"" ..**..
and take the Almighty's example and upgrade (almost said 'convert' that's how paranoid I'm becoming lol) to Vista!
"It is expected that stuff will be better, the world will be faster and there will be fewer system crashes".
:D
crashing that is...makes it tough on an addict..sighhhhhhh
sorry for Double Post
QL crashed
God does not mind if we (human kind) laugh a little in his name.. He has always liked us to live happily. By joking about him, his might and being a creator is not gonna get a bit diluted.
Frogy.. chil dear. dont take everything seriously. I know your views are moderate so what happend now. Its just an imagination.
Gypsy needs to send a mail to almighty for technical support you know of
..**.. ""They walk among us. They vote & they even reproduce"" ..**..
i wonder what satan is running on? Windows Wasta?
Where there is Fire...There is Coke. Where there is Rum..There is Smoke - Sir Smoke-a-Lot
Welcome to the maze. We have hidden treasures for you behind one of the door and rest of the doors take you to hell.
giraffes give birth standing up...which is why its so dangerous for baby giraffes if they land on their head or shoulders and break something...lunch for lions..
Do giraffes give birth while standing up right?
long lengs, long neck very much in demand these days, if you know what I mean.:)
Enjoying the day
God has a wonderful sense of humor...why else would He/She, place humankind on Earth and let us learn from our mistakes???
Much less, why would He/She make giraffes?? I mean, geez, talk about a design problem....long legs, long neck, huge drop for baby being born...
Have you never heard of TV programmes like 'Spitting Image'? Or other satirical programmes on TV stations around the world which send up politicians, the Pope, the Queen etc?
Even the people depicted are amused at their exagerated portrayal - in the case of Spitting Image notable people who WEREN'T portrayed felt left out! Like, they weren't considered to be a personality worth including in the programme!
jauntie , making God "bargain", "buy", " hesitate", "make mistakes" is offending .
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
God has a wonderful sense of humor...why else would He/She, place humankind on Earth and let us learn from our mistakes???
Much less, why would He/She make giraffes?? I mean, geez, talk about a design problem....long legs, long neck, huge drop for baby being born...
blaspheme is not good
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I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here
Than a whole truck load when I'm gone
Noone is making fun of God though Frog, if anything is being poked fun at here it's Windows Vista. Really people are too sensitive.
"You don't have to like me for who I am but we'll see what you're made of by what you make of me." Ani Difranco
It isn't making fun of God - it's making up a silly scenario of Him using a laptop!
Heavens preserve us from people who can't see the humour in something so tame and obviously harmless fun because we all KNOW it can't possibly be true!
jauntie :) just a question my dear :) Are there any limits ?
Some people would caricuature or even make fun of "God", but do nevere dare utter a word about a political leader or a president or even their boss at work :)
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Come on, I want to know what offends you in that amusing little spoof article.
Where's your sense of humour?
I give up! Why does everything about God have to be heavy, heavy, heavy ....? Lighten up, willyer? I certainly don't consider a bit of satire, like the above, as 'tasteless. It's a parody, a joke, a funny story to make you laugh, to take you out of yourself ...
I think I shall have to give QL a wide berth for a few days, it's beginning to depress me the way some people are incapable of seeing the funny side of life.
:(
Here we go :) I would keep silent because it's your Birthday Gypsy :D
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
who is Amy Winehouse ... what wine do the make... sweet, dry, sparkling ?
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here
Than a whole truck load when I'm gone
Hmmm, and here I always thought God was a Mac man. Go figure. I do know how to get rid of the toolbars though so I'll be sure to give him a jingle. :P
"You don't have to like me for who I am but we'll see what you're made of by what you make of me." Ani Difranco
it's rather dary and a sorta border-line. Many would not appreciate messing the way he did with God Almighty. I could sense creativeness and wide imagination, but the caricaturisation of God's image and deeds is tasteless. Sorry jauntie I could be tolerant, but there are limits not to transcend . No offense.
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
it's rather dary and a sorta borde-line. Many would not appreciate messing the way he did with God Almighty. I could sense creativeness and wide imagination, but the caricaturisation of God's image and deeds is tasteless. Sorry jauntie I could be tolerant, but there are limits not to transcend . No offense.
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
No comment. it's rather dary and a sorta borde-line. Many would not appreciate messing the way he did with God Almighty. I could sense creativeness and wide imagination, but the caricaturisation of God's image and deeds is tasteless. Sorry jauntie I could be tolerant, but there are limits not to transcend . No offense.
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
i dont think anyone will be missing Amy Winehouse...i mean seriously can any one make out what she's saying when she's singing live?