Girlfriend/Wife Programming Tips

Dear Tech Support Team: 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-

processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs

and now monitors all other system activities. 

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, NBA 3.6, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 5.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever

selected. I can't  seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking

that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-

Alimony-Child Support) .. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the

environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command

before the  system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such

as Clean 2.5, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the

system to launch the program Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase

additional software. I recommend Flowers 3.5 and Jewellery 5.0

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by

Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support ..