found one dead bird!

nicaq25
By nicaq25

This morning along Standard Chartered Bank alley.
Wonder what's the cause???
[img_assist|nid=28309|title=bird|desc=found dead|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=135]

By jauntie• 5 Sep 2007 01:06
jauntie

The Pet Shop

A customer enters a pet shop.

Customer:

'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Customer: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Customer:

(pause) I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to register a complaint!

Owner:

We're closin' for lunch.

Customer:

Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner:

Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...

What's,uh... What's wrong with it?

Customer:

I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad.

'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner:

No, no, 'e's uh,... he's resting.

Customer:

Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner:

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!

Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay?

Beautiful plumage!

Customer:

The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner:

Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Customer:

All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner:

There, he moved!

Customer:

No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner:

I never!!

Customer:

Yes, you did!

Owner:

I never, never did anything...

Customer:

(yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly)

'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing!

This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Customer:

Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner:

No, no... No, 'e's stunned!

Customer:

STUNNED?!?

Owner:

Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!

Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Customer:

Um... now look... now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner:

Well, he's... he's, ah...

probably pining for the fjords.

Customer:

PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner:

The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back!

Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Customer:

Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner:

Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Customer:

"VOOM"? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner:

No no! 'E's pining!

Customer:

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! He's f*ckin' snuffed it!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner:

Well, I'd better replace it, then.

(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)

Owner:

Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.

Customer:

I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner:

(pause) I got a slug.

(pause)

Customer:

Pray, does it talk?

Owner:

Nnnnot really.

Customer:

WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?

Owner:

Well! I never wanted to do this in the first place. I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!

By jarhead• 5 Sep 2007 00:55
jarhead

I see dead birds all the time around Doha

Possible reasons for death are...

- Disease

- Heat

- Dehydration

- Killed by someone or something

- Lack of food

-

By ainarl• 6 Aug 2007 11:39
ainarl

Dehydration.

By oamonteiro• 6 Aug 2007 10:45
oamonteiro

I think the bird died due to thirst n heat stroke its very hot n humid out there

I could be wrong though

By nicaq25• 6 Aug 2007 10:40
nicaq25

not funny at all!...Ms.Apple is right, this should be reported to the authority by the street sweeper, but to my surprised the janitors didn't event picked it up instead, just pushed them aside near the building post!Well, I don't know, but shouldn't we be aware of this avian flu hitting some neighboring countries???

By JBH• 5 Aug 2007 01:26
JBH

Qatati Comedy is Shakespearian.

Call me Maninibat!

By Apple• 5 Aug 2007 01:24
Apple

I thought you're asking some CDC dept., LoL!

By anonymous• 5 Aug 2007 01:20
anonymous

LOL, i JUST MADE THAT UP....LOL

QATAR CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION SERVICES!

I'm having a blast in Qatar living, the drama is better than Shakespeare....

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

By Apple• 5 Aug 2007 01:11
Apple

what is QCIS?

By JBH• 5 Aug 2007 01:03
JBH

Maybe he "knew too much",

Call me Maninibat!

By anonymous• 5 Aug 2007 00:59
anonymous

The questions that merges are:

Did he died of being Depressed?

Did he died because he forgot to wear the seat belt and got ejected in landing?

Does anyone have QCIS phone number?

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

By IMI• 5 Aug 2007 00:52
Rating: 3/5
IMI

I think from I see and understand it looks like a case lack of Safety Standards in construction building where the bird was working, or may be Heat Stroke for working in Extreme Climatic conditions. Or be a Victim to Demolition Notice of his Nest...

Strange but True.

IMI - The Screen Behind The Mirror

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent."

"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend."

By Litekite• 5 Aug 2007 00:52
Litekite

I also found on Quail bird dead with no signs,and the cats roaming did not even see to it,surprising!!!!!

By JBH• 5 Aug 2007 00:27
JBH

But birds die all the time.

They get old.

Call me Maninibat!

By Apple• 5 Aug 2007 00:12
Apple

I'm worried of everyone's health:)) and yea i'm suspecting bird/avian flu.

To prevent is better than to cure! agree?

By anonymous• 4 Aug 2007 23:58
anonymous

I think his name was "depressed" bird.....!!

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

By KellysHeroes• 4 Aug 2007 23:51
Rating: 2/5
KellysHeroes

You are worrying the guys people here ;P

Are you suspecting bird'd flu. yeeeeeeee. let me take a shelter :D

===========================

Reached 500 points barrier

Within 13 weeks and 2 days

Got lovely friends, buddies

and pals

By Apple• 4 Aug 2007 23:45
Apple

It should be sent for laboratory investigation, did anyone reported it to the health authority? did someone from the health inspectors came to take the dead bird?

A precautionary advise, please dont touch any dead bird/chicken you found along the street or anywhere with bare hands!

By JBH• 4 Aug 2007 23:19
JBH

Or;

Did it get in your way DaRuDe?

Call me Maninibat!

By DaRuDe• 4 Aug 2007 22:21
DaRuDe

guess it was issued a notice of hike in rent too or its accommodation gettin demolished, hmm Heart attack :)

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

By JBH• 4 Aug 2007 21:28
JBH

Either;

Old age syndrome,

Lets fly through that closed window syndrome,

Lets fly accross that road syndrome,

Or;

Lets see how long we can watch that land cruiser coming at us before flying off, syndrome.

But I'm no expert.

Call me Maninibat!

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