Farting in bed.

Ay'up Penny love, call them what you like, but they can be dangerous - After a particularly raucous session in the mids 60's I was blown clean through the Living Room window. I missed the next tour of India.

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I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

Are you talking 'love puffs'?

My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.

We have been together for 50 years now, if you were wondering.

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I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

Ay'up everyone are we talking about farting from the balloon knot or elsewhere? My dear wife Faith, always let out a little "Frampton" from her tulip in the throws of passion. Usually due to my Yorkshireman foreplay technique - "Brace yourself"

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I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

Hmmmm if it slips out maybe but one thing puzzles the hell out of me, why do so many men think farting is some kind of an aphrodisiac? It isn't, not now, not then, not ever lol :)

Farting in bed.

As long as you say "excuse me" or "oops" then fine.

However, if you roll yourself over and blow off in your partner face, then perhaps not.

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Love Chocolate..................Love Starfishes

One guy I know let one rip while he was having sex! I bet he never saw the gal again.

Anyone tried holdin a flame to your *beep* while fartin?

Try it.. Its fun ;-)

Have we heard of the simple term “Input and Output”? For example you eat food (Input) you defecate (Output); every human and animal performs this critically important process yes? Yes! Now during this process we produce gases and these gases sometimes MUST escape from a little valve/sphincter, also know as an asshole – yes ladies you have one as well! Now this is a very natural process; therefore it’s imperative that we evacuate these gases! Ladies if this is such a problem for you to understand then try these two options:

Options 1: Insert a cork into your ass and let these gases seep through your body, which would cause you to become bloated and considerably ill. I guess you wouldn’t want to insert a cork in your sphincter because you would, consequently, appear FAT, and you wouldn’t want this to transpire because your make-up … wouldn’t help you! Option 2: Don’t eat & don’t drink, which of course means that you couldn’t attend one of your demanded romantic dinners that you request weekly from your partner – who wait for it also has an asshole! Remember if you don’t eat & drink then you will DIE!

Ladies please continue to keep us entertained regarding your logic!

Slogan: Don’t let your ass become your mouth by keeping the air in!

I didn't see anyone comment about when you sneeze or cough and push a fart out. I was so embarrassed the first time that happened to me in front of my hubby. He just laughed his a** off. He thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Motherhood...The hardest job you'll ever love! : )

An elderly lady goes to the Doctor and he asks what is the problem. She shyly reveals that recently she has a lot of gas and as a result is farting sometimes in public. She claims that thus far they have been both silent and odorless. She is afraid that may not remain the case. She asks the doctor to help her BEFORE it becomes embarassing.

The Doctor examines her and says I think I know what is wrong with you, here are some pills to take each day. After taking the pills the lady returns to the doctor and she is quite irate. She says those pills did nothing to eliminate the gas BUT now the smell is unbarable.

The doctor grins and says good, now that we have cleared up your sinus problem let's see what we can do to improve your hearing as well.......

Hahahaha

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"A Wise Man knows what he does not know!"

chilli and beer (together) have been banned from my house, much to my husband's disappointment. I think it's absolutely vile to be awakened from a deep sleep thinking you have a dead skunk in your bed, just to find out it's your husband...phew!!!! I think farting is more entertaining for men than women or I hope that's so:)

I also begs the question, how do men contain this when they're courting you and then suddenly it's a continuous thing - if you can school your "natural" instincts when you're trying to win a gal over, what makes you think it's okay to let it all hang out after she says "I do"????

My humble opinion only.

Tracey (does anybody own a spare gas mask?)

hmmp., it smells here.,:( reminds me of the Scooby Doo movie.,

[azi "without the sound" ... 'tis a KILLER as a NUKE]

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call me ONE.

with the sound...

without the sound...it's A KILLER...lmao

Or perfect the silent, odourless fart! Bwahahah!

/Oops! It's 5.30pm and time to misbehave...

//Not my fault. My watch says it's 5.30pm...

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

so avoid salad when going on a date...lol

joke :-P

eggs

cereal (especially Bran)

Chilli con Carne

Curry

Chinese

English

Italian

French

Arabic

etc etc

Oh the list goes on, eat what you like, raise the bed covers, hope the AC IS ON AND GOT FOR IT. Even the Queen farts. lol

My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.

Very true...

And VEGAS...I didn't say anything TMI...lol

Bein able to fart shamelessly in front of your partner is an indication of the level of comfort you've achieved.

I think it's a lot to do with food. If you're going on a date avoid 'fart foods.' Can anyone list any foods that make you fart a lot?

You can't teach experience...

OHH!!! Lotz of Contributors....

Vat a Chili Topic....Chill up!

NAZ

Coz i woke up this morning to find MY GUY in the sofa resting...he said he couldn't sleep and though he said it's not my snoring that kept him awake, I know it is.

YUP...I rather "fart" coz it takes only a few seconds then it's gone...compared to snoring...BUT I still don't like both...lol

No, this is what happens;

You both get into bed

one of you starts snoring

the non snorer kicks/hits the snorer

the snorer snorts awake

you tell them they are snoring

they say sorry

you both turn over

they start snoring again

you count the hours you have to be up

YOU MOVE TO THE SPARE BEDROOM.

My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.

I see that this farty thread has evolved to crapping and then to snoring.

/Btw, did you notice the ironic thing about snorers and their partners? The partners are usually light sleepers. Lol! I suppose it's a good thing - if the house is burning down due to the bedside candle's reaction to the farts, at least someone's awake to sound the alarm.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

hahaha....

[img_assist|nid=90378|title=|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

I think we all dream of that lol

My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.

i prefer none...lol

You can't teach experience...

don't get me started on snoring. My partner snores for England, hence why the spare bedroom is my escape.

My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.

My (ex)BF farts as a joke. He laughs himself silly when I make faces (in disgust) whenever he does that and we end up laughing together.

Farting is no biggie...it's MY "snoring" that bothers me most :-P

I used to be such a prude over farting.

Then my partner watched me struggle in Labour, saw bits of me that I had never seen or would want to; so after that farting in front of him was least of my problems.

Dignity went way out of the window whilst giving birth. lol

My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.

so fart away;-)

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

Farting in bed is not a problem whether it smells bad or not. If something comes out underneath " GOD!!! THATS THE PROBLEM"

for eight years i still do it in the bathroom, but my husband's fart is my alarm clock in the morning, you can imagine how loud it is, it annoys me only on weekends though,but for the rest of the week im ok with it,having him to keep me warm is already a blessing with or without fart,

just don't follow through.

Let's not forget Qatar is one of the worlds leading nations in GAS production!

Vegas, I didn't want to say it here :/

You can't teach experience...

how could you think a woman was sexy if you have heard and smelt their flatulence?

Ritz - I can say yes, she loves my fart and vice versa...hehehehe! I also told her that if I will not fart on her, it means to say I dont love her anymore...bwahahaha!

This is a funny topic. hehehe.

When someone farts by mistake, I crack up laughing. Its just funny and embarrassing.

EVERYONE farts, its a call of nature - but preferred done discreetly.

We laugh when kids fart hehehehe we just do.

I'm laughing just reading through the posts.

That comment was hilarious!

Hey Maa look at me....what no one wants to see....much too young to focus but too old to see!

north_me....

so its the FART which keeps you both together and not the LOVE....:)

Because of this farting thing, me and my wife had a fight and we almost parted our ways, but we are still okay now and sometimes she's doing the same thing to me..That is what you call love...giving and sharing!!!!hehehehe!

hahahahhaha funny thread :)

tbh idc... i'll cock my leg and let it go anywhere.

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FART FART FART FART FART! WHAT A FARTY TOPIC!

farting makes the relationship more stronger.

farting makes the relationship more stronger.

LooL Marhabtain....

A Fart a day Keeps the Doctors Away !!! :)

Economy Class - Qatar airways - it stinks in anycase.

Fart when exiting a lift on a hot day. Silent ones preferred.

Fart when going up an escalator.

Thats it! Happy Farting! And remember - Fart and the world farts with you! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hic!

I had a girl friend a ways back...

She always had to be perfect made up...

nails, hair ect...

Never ever hear her let go...

And then one day POW....

She let out a dozzie...

I had to LMAO...

So funny coming from such a stunner...

You can't teach experience...

Ohh Great !!

There is a fart Topic and we see many new new faces around for discussion....lol

Farting.....what a sick thing to talk about!

Btw, I don't fart even if theres just one person around....you know why coz the defaulter in this case becomes obvious! No..this doesn't mean i'd go ahead with it when ther'r more people around. I see it as an extremely disgusting thing to do.

But yes....odorless fart is possible only within 20hrs of a bowel clearance!! GIVE IT A TRY...lololol

Hey Maa look at me....what no one wants to see....much too young to focus but too old to see!

I tried to talk one girlfriend into attempting a Duet... she wouldn't go for it though.

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What a pathetic topic is that?

so from what i understand, we are all discussing "FARTING as a COUPLE" in the morning ?? ewww!!

anyhuu..its just a very natural act i suppose.No issues if done wen being a couple. I wudnt know. I'm still not in the couple stage yet. A bit stinky topic if u ask me.

AHOY!! WIND IN THE HALL!!

from now on i will blame my wife...good idea

thanx Saurabh7

Qlers discuss such topic as well...I am still 6 months old.

there is one very uncomfortable situation. I can't say it here. very disgusting situation.

Winston Churchill said "feel free to fart"

Damn, cant even blame the other person when that happens. Oh well, blame your wive's cooking :P ;)

If someone has to tell you how to behave inthis situation.... I would be worried. Surely you should understand what is appropriate in your relationship.

My theory is- If you are sleeping in the same bed regularily enough to have this question, you should know the other person well enough to have also acquired the answer???

Good Luck :)

ladies dont do that so openly i guess...men do all gross things, fart under the duvet and put it over your head, feel the sensation only if you enjoy the smell.

She will kick you out of the bed kekekke

Oh and no need to excuse yourself, if you make a silent fart

Obviously not many Fans of the Dutch Oven here...

when you fart under the covers and hold yer girlfriends head under the douvet...

*sigh*

Been through alot of girlfriends, can't think why

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Well if you stop dating the opposite sex because they fart, then you will live alone the rest of your life!!

Ok...gas is a normal part of life, but if you can..the polite thing to do is leave the room or close vicinity, if you decide to break wind. Of course then you run the risk of having an unsuspecting victim walk full into it..so best bet is to head to the loo...

Those late night sleeper farts are killers...

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.

-Mark Twain-

lol FS.....

there are 2 topics one is Farting topic and another one is something of the POO topic (muck muck ..):)

Ohh wat a fartin day it is ...:)

Nothing better to discuss??

odorless fart ??

How is tat possible ? i mean how can a fart come without an odor ?

Is it - if we have too much of greeny vegeis in our diet the farts becomes odorless ??

You can't teach experience...

the comfortable situation is when you get silent and odorless fart.

well, as I said when you're asleep you wouldn't know, Imean when people do it on purpose!

If both r under one blanket the aroma of the Fart will make them awake and make them question each other who farted ??

Or if the partner is sleeeping how will they know???

If both are awake you should get up and go to the bathroom...You could maybe get away with one if the AC is running...

What you do at work today honey???

Ah not much...Just answered fart questions...

You can't teach experience...

Sorry, I've been married for years and it is still not acceptable for either of us to do it intentionally in bed!

Its selfish and revolting and whats more its not in the least bit funny!!!

Farting is an art form.

I'm the Lord of the farts, when I'm surround by British replies in QL.

Hurrah for.... "BRRRRPPPP" for Britexpat and UKENGQATAR!

If God dropped acid, would he see people? -- George Carlin

LOL!

Singleguy---So you have lovers that have 'gone with the wind' and this why you're still single? LOL

Let er rip anytime after being together for more than two months. If you aren't farting in front of each other after that period of time, the relationship is in trouble :)

Never forget the things that really do matter...

So to all the farters out there - be careful because your partners could literally be 'gone with the wind!'

well, it seems like a silly thing to break up over...as long as it isn't deadly...case by case evaluation i guess..

seriously, you will inevitably see the person you marry in the worst conditions of their life...whether during childbirth, sickness, old age, etc. it shouldn't bother you. it's just part of the human condition. you are privileged to have someone who is comfortable enough to share everything with you and who will stick around when you are falling apart whether physically or in another sense.

enjoy!

Very well said, DoraTheExplorer.

I wouldn't say anything, just light a match to see if the methane gas is sufficient to torch his a$$. It brings a whole new meaning to "Baby, you light my fire".

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Wat a Smelly Thread ....:)

It is NOT acceptable, its rude and disgusting, if one wishes to fart then they go to the loo to do it and not cover their partner in methane.

It shouldn't happen at all...unless one is asleep then it can't be helped, obviously.......

well, if you're already a "couple",you shouldn't mind him/her farting. sometimes this are "happy moments" where you laugh at each other. :)

" I was born intelligent, but education ruined me..."

You know the old saying "Farting makes the heart grow fonder"

It is a normal health condition. Either make up or break up. LOL

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

Keeps one warm under the duvet especially in the winter lol

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HE WHO DARES WINS

it's a normal thing i guess.. but the least one could do when he/she feels it coming is to excuse himself, but sometimes it's just unavoidable, but still... :P