Adultery in Doha

In my opinion a think a person cheats not because there is lacking in their partner but because there is lacking in themselves that cannot be satisfied or fulfilled.

This is a very old - who the hell revived this forum topic

when the cat is away time for the mouse to  bring over his lil B''''''H it's cuz he is away from home 'n nobody related to him is around 'n the wife is out of the country so what's wrong in havin some  fun? in  the end his wife msut be doin something similar  in a resort somewhere lol!  what goes around comes around mate. so 9 months later the wife gives birth to a black child! hubby goes hey! that's not my son! look at him he is black!  it's at that exact moment when his wife will turn her head up look at him 'n say " dear it's urs, don't u know God works in mystrious ways"? lol

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NIV)

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansingb her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”c 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Its really a worst hing we should avoid it and who do are punished by allah and cannot be happy any time. 

this thread is really something....i like what Apple and Ahmed4411 comments......(more comments and opinions to come????)

to err is human to forgive is divine.

moonblues67- are you spying on them filipinas?

Going back to the topic... YES! I am available for possible trysts...

Moonblues67- say something w/ sense based on facts or go back to sleep. Did u make ur survey to know "majority" of them?

How come a majority of fillipinas send money back home more than what they earn as salary. Lot of them earn around Qr 2500 and send home more than QR 5000 per month.

Many old aged western Expat are walking around with fillipina, who back home has Husband & Kids.

actually i don't care about what Arab women think about asian women i just like how they r very nice and very caring and sexy as will i like how they deal with there men and how they make the man feel i don't really know any asian girl in the real but i think that the asian woman is the best ( and that is not affected by sexual points like that u can get asian girl if u have money )

ELS Teacher, is this true? If found it really strange for this things to happen coz here in Doha, police are so strict in term of adultery...much more if the girl is living temporarily in the house of a man in the absence of his wife? OMG!

" Tomorrow is not just another day, it's another chance..."

If this man brings another woman while his wife is away, believe me his wife will bring another man when he is away, but also not all woman will do the same.

A bad woman will say if he cheat me I will cheat him and same is applicable for the man.

The illegal affair between a man and woman is called in Arabic Zenna, and there is a common expression which says:

If some one makes Zenna then another person from outside the house will make Zenna with one of his family members even if the house is protected.

Guys Zenna is the number one source for aids.

Why some one who has a beatiful honest humble wife go and look for a gf to make illegal affair while the wife is away?

For us as Muslims if we see something wrong we must advice the wife and as you know some wives will accept and some will shout, I am also sure that some chrstians will also never betrayd their wives what ever is done and will be patient.

We believe as Muslims if we had a bad wife and we adviced her and she did not listen; we have two options:

1. Be patient and receive the reward from God, this reward can be good furtune good health good friends good kids good neighbours and many other good things and the biggest reward will be in heaven.

2. Divorce and this will be fair for both parties and kids as well.

Every good couples will do the impossible to raise their children in a nice environment where ther is no fight.

A good reading on Adultery...but still can't believe it happen also in a Compound in Qatar? Where is social control? None....

Types of Adultery

Adultery is a result of conflict and collision, and it has a lot of psychological motives. Because of adultery a family is often destroyed. A human is unfaithful because of disappointment in family life, but how and why does it happen? How does love turn into indifference, hostility, and even hatred? Adultery can be in normal families, and it can be absent in destroyed ones. It should be mentioned that the field of family counseling shows that unfaithfulness is found quite often: in every fourth case. Cases of adultery, in general, are the following:

1. A new love. As a rule, this reason of unfaithfulness is typical of marriages in which there was little love, or there wasn’t love at all. These are rational marriages based on profit, traditions, fear of loneliness, and other motives.

2. Revenge. A lot of adultery is comes from a wish to have revenge for the spouse’s unfaithfulness to restore his/her own dignity.

3. Desecrated love. Sometimes unfaithfulness is found in families without mutual feelings. One of the spouses suffers from ignoring his love. This stimulates him/her to bring it into another partnership where a mutual feeling is possible. Sometimes an unfaithful person doesn’t love a new partner, but answers the partner’s feeling, feeling sorry for the loving person.

4. Search for new love experience. This type of unfaithfulness is typical of spouses having lived together for a long time, when their feelings have faded. This version can happen under the influence of movie examples of what “a beautiful life” is or as an imitation of sexual freedom.

5. Compensation. A person compensates for a lack of love relationships, appearing as a result of long parting, an illness of a spouse, or other limitations.

Total parting of a family. In this case being unfaithful is making a new family, when the previous one is not treated as a family.

6. Accidental relations. As a rule, this kind isn’t characterized by regularity; it can be provoked by certain circumstances (intoxication, a partner’s persistence, etc.)

Unfaithfulness not only threatens the family union, the spouse’s feelings and dignity, but is also accompanied by jealousy, a destroying feeling.

Jealousy depends on how often someone was unfaithful before; unfaithfulness hurts especially trusting and dedicated people, whose morals don’t accept it.

For many people a partner’s repentance is very important. If other people find out about someone’s unfaithfulness and they try to middle with the people’s life, the situation gets worse.

Depth of suffering from unfaithfulness mostly depends on how much the wronged party loves their partner and how afraid they are to lose him/her. There emerges a question, should they talk about the unfaithfulness or not? Of course, a person who was unfaithful is tortured by guilt and he/she wants to get rid of it. Sometimes pangs of remorse are so painful that a person wants to be punished if it helps.

He/she wants to share this burden with the partner, but the person doesn’t think the partner could accept it. The partner’s reaction should also be predicted; he would be hurt, offended by your confession and he would feel betrayed. Not every person would be able to forgive adultery and never mention it. However, seeing sincere repentance, a loving person would be able to forgive; many families who have gone through the same situation unite understanding how much they value the relations that could be destroyed one day.

Wow this topic is very old!!!! 3 years?!?!?

...don't let your prejudice effect your sanity people.

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

intelligent person hahahah...LOL

Who is digging up these old topics?....lol

As far as i know, those guys who bring thier gfs to stay with them in the compound while thier wives are on vacation tell everybody that she is thier Housmaid and everybody believes it. If he bring a German lady to his house, nobody will believe that she is a housmaid, but if he bring his filipina gf, nobody will ask because it means this is the housmaid who cleans his house in his wife abscence :)

If he introduces her to the public as his gf or mistress, then it means that he is having bad time with his wive and everybody knows it. Most probably, his wive is living in another compound with another man/men back home.

its all about the money

prostitution coverd by girlfriend /boyfriend

when an old man runs after young asian girl and provide her with whatever she desires ,,cheap stuff

and when she hunts him down, what is it called.. same stuff

NICE TRY TEACHER

BUT I DO NOT THINK ITS GONA GIVE THEM ATLEAST A THOUGHT OF WHAT THEY ARE DOIN

IF THEY WOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT THEY WONT DO IT ON THE FIRST PLACE.

dorothy how can i help you? just tell me i am willing...

ESL teacher,,,,cut the hypocrisy ....nobody is perfect in this world ,,,life is unfair,,,this guy was only enjoying them selves,,,,,life is unfair,,,,if you cant beat em,,,,,join them,,,,& besides havent u even noticed???doha was so boring???this people was just painting the town red,,,,,

In other words Teacher should mind her own business...

You can't teach experience...

"are u sure ESL Teacher that this guy bring Philipina home alone? or are

u sure of her nationality? How? Have u seen her passport? Dont tell me

u spending ur 24hrs everyday just starring at your neighboor doors

& window!"

----> Reminding the scene of Desperate Housewives ... lol  

@nadt, thanks lol, I did post it as a new thread already :P

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Click here for Qatar info

whoami..this is the best post ive read on Ql to date....it really is..infact you shouldve posted this as a new thread...im so sick of genralisations too...when will people learn that in every culture theres the good bad and the ugly.........and stop thinking one culture/religon/country is better than the rest...

Haven't you heard? Us Qataris are all in this super secret club!

We ALL; when I say all I don't mean a few, some, alot, or a majority, I mean every single last Qatari, wake up in the morning and agree to a schedule.

Take today for example, we all agreed that we will all swirve on the first foreigner we see while talking to our mistresses while driving with our foot out of the window.

That's just phase 1!

Phase 2, we're all going to go to the shopping mall, wink at the first philipino girl we see and marry the first one that winks back. We can have four wives remember? Of course you do, that's one of the only things people think about when they think of Islam. After strapping a bomb to our fourth wife, we frolic around on the grass screaming obsenities to expats, sometimes the police will join in too! All police in Qatar are corrupt after all, and since they're here, they must be in on our plan too!

We've even got ALL other nationalities that might be confused with Qataris in it as well! Yep! Syrians, Lebanese, Kuwaiti's, Emiratis, even Indians too. We gave them 1,000 Qatari Riyals from the money we made from the oil field out back and asked them to wear thobes (since only Qataris wear thobes) and act like they've got a passport! Don't forget we love buying people to use our passports!

But that's not all, you thought that was it? We all end the day by calling the banks to give us some free stocks while they jack the price up for expats. As we then get tucked into out lovely silk blankets which are hand woven by a million slaves, we send out a text to each other to agree to increase the rent by 100% the next day. After all, we're immune to the law, we don't pay bills, and everything is free for us. Ah what a lovely life.

Don't worry you're not being paranoid or generalizing at all :)

Now for the disclaimer: This is SARCASM. This is a JOKE. The reason for such a comment because I think it's insane that so many people can generalize by the actions of few. Ah well, some probably laughed, some thought it was stupid, and some probably thought that everything I wrote above was true. *sighs*

___________________________

Click here for Qatar info

are u sure ESL Teacher that this guy bring Philipina home alone? or are u sure of her nationality? How? Have u seen her passport? Dont tell me u spending ur 24hrs everyday just starring at your neighboor doors & window!

Remeber that Philipina may also look same as other asian nationality or may look same nationality as yours... so STOP LABELLING PHILIPINA or other nationalities here OK?

STOP BEING JUDGEMENTAL AND MIND UR OWN BUSINESS...

Maybe I wouldn't put it quite that way but its true. This thread is like so old. So Jinkx just chill out. I am taking you for an orange juice tonight so that you have no excuse to duck out of the run tomorrow. Even though its gonna be freakin' hard.

Fairy tales don't tell children dragons exist. Children know dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children dragons can be killed. G.K Chesterton

Hey I heard that from someone before..."Husbands are like children, they are fun when they're not yours!"

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

I so wanted to use the most appropriate word but I didn't want to get banned.

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

Don't you know you gotta love your neighbor until his wife gets home? And please stop using "freaking" every two words. 

Fairy tales don't tell children dragons exist. Children know dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children dragons can be killed. G.K Chesterton

I believe there is a law against that here in Qatar. These people just need to be caught...and away they goooooooooo

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

and don't say NO! If you are not aware of your husband's/wife's cheating it doesn't mean he/she is faithful. He/She is SMART and respectful towards his/her spouse. And him/herself. That's it.But these, who cheat openly, and bring their "mistresses" to the neighborhood’s and company's events, are immoral, mentally shallow, emotionally cheap, and just disgusting. And also how this "mistress" agrees to substitute the wife for a while? No self-respect at all? Hate all cheaters! If you don’t love your wife/husband anymore, and want to go out on public with other man/woman, have courage to come to your spouse and admit it, don’t make fun of her/him and yourself. I think Qatari law must apply to these cases somehow as well, and once it’s proved both must be deported.

***********************

This Too Shall Pass.....

[img_assist|nid=71431|title=magic ring|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

First, let me make it clear that i dont agree with the so called " adultery " being committed by filipina here in qatar. All i can say it is their lives, though it has really a big impact on the dignity of ther filipina here.

But.........being a filipina??? I am still proud! Of all the nationalities here in Doha, most of the men preferred only filipino ladies. Simply becoz, filipinas are stylish, cute & pretty, smart and hygienic compared to other ladies/ nationalities here in Qatar. 

===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409

People who can't put some things to rest, someone just have to bring it up again. sigh....

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

What brought this thread into erection now after a long hybernation?

===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409

IT IS JUST PLAIN AND SIMPLE, MEN ARE PERVERTED AND SOME WOMEN ARE JUST PLAIN STUPID SOMETIMES!

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

A mistress is a mistress, and they all come from all parts of the freakin world! Will everyone stop using specific nationalities or race as an example? I mean PLEASE!!! It is bad enough that some of us sees these happening and can't do anything about it!

Just in case none of you got the memo, IT DOES NOT ONLY HAPPEN IN THIS FREAKIN COUNTRY! It's around the freakin world people! Can't we just use a general noun when citing an example??? Do you really have to degrade people even more? Really, wtf?

Why do some people think they are far better than everyone else, I mean COME ON!!!

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

SUDDENLY, BECAUSE OF THOSE WOMAN, WOMAN THAT ARE RAPE CAN NOT HAVE THEIR JUSTICE.

Don't be upset...To tell you the truth I know lots of FILIPINA WOMEN THAT ARE MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN IN THE PHILIPPINES ARE HAVING SEX WITH MARRIED MEN THAT IS DEPLOYED IN QATAR. THE SAD THING IS SHE KNOWS THAT HE IS MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS. AND SHE SEDUCED HIM. MAYBE HOPPING THAT HE WILL DIVORCE HIS WIFE. THE UGLY PART IS SHE HAVE KIDS AND A HUSBAND BACK HOME....IN THIS LIFE WHATEVER WE DO OUR CHILDREN ARE THE ONE WHO WILL PAY FOR IT....WHAT IS MISSING HERE IS THE VALUE OF BEING FILIPINA.

Things get complicated and the issue had been forgotten.

Please bear in mind or think twice before sending your messages as it can hurt to somebody.

Example you are using Philipina words as mistress. Are you sure that topic of yours..or that Philipina is doing bad things? did you realize that your accusing somebody without knowing you fall all the pride of being a Philippina? which all women from Philippines might react?

Shame to that person pinpointing on it? You are not God that knows everything around you, not even knows whats the real score.

Just have a binifet of the doubt...think and be carefull of anything you discuss and write.

I know some Philipina doing that way...but its not only her..maybe worst than you know...just keep watch around you guys....

To avoid the main Topic of Adultery is Love, Respect and open communication of both parties....husband and wife.

No matter what could be hindrance from evil...Love well burst as you follow those 3 aspect of being Love , Respect and Communication.

Nobodys perfect as the said...but it depend on us to refrain from doing such Adulterous act.

Love is in the air....spread love and Gods grace.

Jam

Regardless of what we do? We should mind our own background than cleaning the others background...Bear in mind Alexia.that theres no Perfect Provider and vise versa.and Dont judge the book by its cover!

Regardless of what race or religion, to cheat on your spouse is wrong!!!

If you think that it is right then you did NOT get married for the right reason.

You're born, you take s**t. You get out in the world, you take more s**t. You climb a little higher, you take less s**t. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what s**t even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son.

Dvargas,

Sorry to hear of your bad experience with Buddhism, however if you knew anything of the buddhist way of life, you would know that it is truly not a religion more a way of life.

As for having it shoved down your throat every religion has its fanatics that will bore you to death and try and convert you etc.

The belief in Islam and the muslim religion granted is not shoved down the throat of westerners living in muslim states, however, having to be woken (Tyler has confessed to this) every day by loud speakers conveniently placed once every few hundres metres is surely having a religion separate to your own being forced at you, yes we have access to alcohol in this country but this is a rarity in itself.

There is no pork in this country due to religious beliefs, is that not also having something thrust upon non believers?

Nope, for once I am not trying to cause a mass criticism of my thinking more over pointing out the TRUTH.

You're born, you take s**t. You get out in the world, you take more s**t. You climb a little higher, you take less s**t. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what s**t even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son.

and what about the wives that cheat on their husbands. what about the ones that "cannot stand living here anymore"...then go backto their homes and hook up with someone there because their husbands are locked into a contract here? life is not easy for a woman in this country. nothing going on culturally, not a lot socially, options are very limited. so my question is: does it not go equally for women? or are they just more discreet here?

I don't care about adltery in Doha or everywhere! every one is free to do what he wants with his body and his soul since he is adult and responsable.

the thread has almost ended on a very harmonius and peaceful note.

where have u suddenly arrived from?

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

get a life your thinking is very narrow minded

wow great to hear rfc

god save and god forbid..................

Real christians will sit and listen carefully others religions and issues. Recomend and Learn from them and move on with your life.

I speak for my own experience.

I challenge you try listen to a hard core Buddhist?

It happened to me in Thailand/Cambodia border on my vacation tour.

It was two long hours of Buddhism teachings. It felt like a long rainy day.

She asked me at the end:

What do you thing about Buddhism?

I replied: Is a good value, “I don’t believe in God and Goddess Idols of stone and masonry”.

I believe my God lives in my heart visible only to my mind, soul and spirit.

No more conversations in that matter.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

this is a real burning thread...

i have read this thread from the start...hahaha & thanks i learn a lot from you guys...i love this forum...

LOL, I truly appreciate the fact that you asked Dvargas. Really it's such a non-issue that many people who are not familiar with Islam get bent over (unless you are PM and her friends apparently).

It was such a pleasure Dvargas to meet someone who wants to educate themselves. I remember once I had asked questions about christianity and I almost had my head removed. Or else I get those who try to convert me.

(sigh)...if only everyone could learn a little more about the people around them..imagine the change that would occur.

Ladies accept my digital Flowers. @/----- twelve carnations to my friends.

Your time writting, your opinions has educated me again.

I'll guarantee you for sure, I will look at a Muslim woman with more respect and humanity from know on.

Finally your insights, have turned this adultery issue into a more positive with a creative solution.

In my opinion, What a tedious, argumentative issue is the subject of Adultery. Not ignoring the intrusion of agression and negative racial statements of a few serpents.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

PM I am speaking quite frankly about myself and the Muslim women I know; polygamy is a non-issue.

The Muslim women who are talking about their husbands and polygamy are probably the same women who worry about their husbands cheating on them.

If, I did love my future wife with all my heart, mind and soul, then all this questions should become first nature towards my wife always.

Loyalty and respect will be there always.

You are a team! Communicate always, be Honest and sincere. I rather speak and know the truth. Instead of “icing, the bad cake” of personal issues that need to be address properly.

Not some robotic, inmature individual with self-center, selfish emotions and attitudes.

The Married couple needs to be sharing, communicating and respecting each other as adults in the good and bad times.

Loving each other is about understanding, Sacrifice and Respect to each other. No one is perfect.

Your religious believes come into play dictating your conduct and marriaged lives.

How you interpret your values, interest and goals do influence your life as a married person.

If each married couple loves, cares and respect each other, without no hesitations and doubts. Adultery will have no remote chance to flash in front of your eyes and entice your ears.

This is my theory, but in practice and the real world is a battle of wits, commercialism, Vanity, bad culture and mess-up morals and crooked financial goals.

No one should be on a marriage, any kind of Slave or submissive peon.

Respectfully

David

well done...

Got to go now, tnx for those infos. Love it!

Feeling sick, i think im catching colds, tnx God I got

anti-flue shot, so need not to worry inshallah.

Okay Polygamy in Islam.

Brilliant question Dvargas and I greatly appreciate that you asked the question rather than making false assumptions. Those who seek to educate themselves really do deserve high praise.

Anywho, back to the topic. Marriage to more than one wife in Islam is not simply for a man to enjoy the company of many women. There was a reason this rule was instituted. Now, dating back to the 7th century generally widowed women would not have any sort of means of survival for themselves or their families. Especially during the time when Islam was being introduced many men were killed and thus were leaving widows and children. Now once again we are not taking about today where we have social welfare programs and such. So, one method to take care of these women was to marry them. Remember these women do have the option to say NO if they did not want to. Unfortunately, THEN there was an imbalance between men and women, as many of the men were being killed in the wars taking place so a man would have to marry more than one wife.

Now, take our Prophet Muhammed (Peace be upon Him)some of his wives were twice his age and widowed.

Really it was a method of social justice and it was most applicable back then. Like I said we can sit and critisize from our 2006 persepective, but it worked for these women and men.

In Islam divorce is not forbidden as it is in Catholicism so if a wife was disheartened she could express herself or seek a divorce...which would have been rare considering the circumstances.

Now, in the Qu'ran, God advises all men to marry only ONE wife even in that time of the 7th century. Because the amount of pressure and responsibilty that has to be taken to take care of two, three, or four is nearly impossible. For instance, a man would need to give each wife her own home, split his time equally, and even provide emotionally and pyschologically to a maximum of four women! Obviously to most men married to one wife that is a challenge. And to not treat all of these women equally would be a sin. So, even though marrying more than one wife would ease the social tensions arising in the society is was NOT encouraged in our Qu'ran, but it was permitted.

Now when it comes to nowadays, most of us Muslim women wouldn't really accept to live in a polygamous marriage and if our husbands sought such a relationship then that would indefinately result in a divorce in most cases. Healthy Muslim marriages, like all other marriages, involve two spouses who do love and respect one another and would not want to divorce each other under any circumstance. And normally neither spouse would want to live in a polygamous marriage. So, sure you are going to find some men who practice polygamy wrongfully, and then may be a few where all members involved are happy (remember any wife can request a divorce at any time or reject the proposal if she is to be a second wife). But, overall it is not commonlly practised anymore and is generally a non-issue to Muslim women.

Here's is some extra reading from Islam online it clarify things a little more:

{ " … then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hand possess: this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course"} (Nisa 4: 3)

As simple as this verse may seem, it is actually quite difficult for a man to deal fairly in all matters between wives. This verse sets the condition that he must deal equitably between wives on all levels i.e. financially, children and emotionally/psychologically. In other words, the husband would have to have the means to maintain this equilibrium. Referring to polygny (i.e. one husband and many wives, scholar Jamal Badawi informs us in his Gender Equity in Islam :

"The only passage in the Qur'an (4:3) which explicitly mentioned polygyny and restricted its practice in terms of the number of wives permitted and the requirement of justice between them was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which dozens of Muslims were martyred leaving behind widows and orphans. This seems to indicate that the intent of its continued permissibility is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (i.e., imbalances between the number of males and females created by wars). This provides a moral, practical, and humane solution to the problems of widows and orphans who are likely to be more vulnerable in the absence of a husband/father figure to look after their needs: financial, companions, proper rearing, and other needs".

Jamal Badawi goes on to say:

"All parties involved have options: to reject marriage proposals as in the case of a proposed second wife or to seek divorce or khul' (divestiture) as in the case of a present wife who cannot accept to live with a polygynous husband".

What your friend needs to mindful is separating:

1. Her fears from what is Islam

2. Culture from Islam

3. Human weaknesses from Islam

This is the root of your friend's dilemma. When Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), married the first time, he was only married to Khadija (RA). A while after she died, he had more than one wife for reasons that were born more out of a sense of responsibility and protection at a time when a woman alone was not safe.

* Khadija bint Khawilad (40 years old) was twice widowed before marrying Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

* Sauda Bint Zama (50 years old) was widowed before

* Hafsa Bint Umar bin Khattab (22 years old) was widowed before

* Umm-I-Salma bint Abu Umayia (26 years old) was widowed before

* Zainab Bint Jahash (38 years old) was divorced before

* Juwaeria Bint Harith (20 years old) was widowed before

* Umm-I-Habiba bint Abu Sufyan (36 years old) was widowed before

* Safia bint Hayi bin Akhtab (17 years old) was divorced before

* Maimuna bint Harith (36 years old) was widowed before

dvargas..i have a question for you.a hypothetical one and anyone can answer it.

i understand you are divorced and you must be living a good life alhamdullilah.hope u are happy too.

but if you get a companion who is intelligent,can carry great conversations with you, is working,is financially independant, can take her own decisions,manages the house,you and kids........but when it comes to you and her affection for you........she will take a day off to take care of you when you are sick, if u wish to eat something in the middle of the night...........she will happily prepare for you (provided she is awake)......if u decide to get kinky she plays along with you to keep you happy.........she does her part to keep the fire burning in your relationship.

does this mean she is submissive and dragging herself to your feet?

would u go looking for pleasure elsewhere when u have someone providing all the love and comfort at home?

would you not try to fulfill her little desires bcos she is trying her best to keep you happy?

does she become a slave?

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

no women nowadays would like to drag their self to mens feet.

divorce is the least solution for problems in marriage.

we, women has rights over our husband and the clever wife must know all those.

And I can't give u a comment of men marrying more than one wife in Islam, but I think han gave u the answers to this.

i am a bit confused here dvargas.

are u saying apple is a second wife or the msitress???????

i think she has only been telling what she would like to do to keep her husband with her........and that is possible by being herself.loyal,respectful and honest.

shudnt that be the ground for all marriages.

why are u mentioning adultery n possibility of divorce with her?

is she dragging herself to his feet.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Personally you don't need to drag your self to his feet.

Be yourself, respectful, loyal and honest. Stand your ground, Don't finch a millimeter and do what is best for your children and yourself.

If divorce is the only solution, then let it be. You will sleep better the next day.

You are his wife and you are entitled to same democracy and respect.

I hope you understand my saying.

Adultery is like a termite eating your family foundation within yourself and having an outer shell looking solid.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Personally you don't need to drag your self to his feet.

Be yourself, respectful, loyal and honest. Stand your ground, Don't finch a millimeter and do what is best for your children and yourself.

If divorce is the only solution, then let it be. You will sleep better the next day.

You are his wife and you are entitled to same democracy and respect.

I hope you understand my saying.

Adultery is like a termite eating your family foundation within yourself and having an outer shell looking solid.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

pm is right apple,

a man need not take permission to marry again.

he can just do it...but its recommended that he inform his wife when he wishes to remarry for whatever reason.

dear dvargas.

a man just cant get up and get remarried......the rule came into being due to certain circumstances during those days thousands of years ago.there is no reason for man to remarry in this day or age using those reasons (war, widows, children without fathers etc)if they do it today its either bcos of lust or the need to carry the family name.

also let me inform you that in asia men dont easily go ahead and get married second time...although they are allowed to do so.

even in the middle east the trend of remarrying has lost its appeal. i do know men like to live in the satisfaction that they can marry anytime they like.....but many refrain from doing so these days.

if a man does remarry then he is supposed to keep both wives in the same standard of life that they are used to....anything more would be better. even if he does divorce her he has to pay for her wellbeing and her children until she decides to remarry.

even taking a wife the first time the woman can demand that he give her the lifestyle she has enjoyed while in her father's house if not better than that. so taking 2 wives means trying two times` hard to satisfy two women.

this is the reason more and more muslim women are getting educated todayin the middle east....men cant take them for a ride and leave them for a second wife.i know many muslim women from gcc who are unmarried bcos they chose to stay so.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

My knowledge is not good enough to answer ur question in that matter, I'll leave it to PM, maybe she has good understanding about this. I dont want to give u wrong info, buddy. But i understand that conjugal properties can be split but the childs below 7 must stay w/ mom and when they reach the age of 7 the child can choose.

Any additional/correction? please!

Good Morning PM, I work night shift so is morning to you. I hope your day is going excellent. Anything backwards in your day that made you laugh? Will you like to share the laugh.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Dont know bout it PM, thanks for the info. I think i need to do more research on that.

Nway, hows ur day? Sorry for the recent conflict, didnt mean to hurt anyone (God knows).

So is double jeopardy, always the muslim woman losing her ground.

If you get divorce, Does child support and property values get to be split?

Do you have a state or constitutional laws protecting the rights of a woman? Besides the religious one's.

Ohh boy,that is a though one.

Do you really want to live the life of masochism and share your space with a adulterous person?

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

I have rights in that matter Dvargas, I can say no to him if i dont want him to marry another wife. The men has to take approval from his wife before taking the decision of marrying another women. If his wife disagree it will be a sin for him to do it. However, in some cases men still do it inspite disapproval from his wife then they might end up divorce.

This is a Though cookie to answer that one. Let me think on this one.

Does he know your feelings in that matter? or he is to MAcho too understand and respect your feelings. Always concealing his lust behind some sacred writing.

Do Muslim woman have a reach and approach help line or professionals available for assistance in that matter.

Is real hard for me to accept and believe that you have no rights or any saying in that matter,

Being a Muslim is a beautiful way of life.

but in the degree of the man having other wife's :

Is like the devil made a deal with allah to oppress woman.

No offense or disrespect, but unless they amend that sacred teaching, you will be a victim and you will be subject directly to the pain of adultery.

There has to be a solution to Muslim woman to that particular issue and matter.

There is Muslim woman that are sophisticated, well balance, super educated and a force to be reckon with. That could help you.

Respectfully to you Apple and my muslim ladies.

David

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

B'fly, i respect both opinions. As long as we live happy in this life and we dont hurt other people feelings thats most important.

Dvargas, I also hate to say this. I may not agree for my husband to have another wife, oh it hurts! that's why I am taking advantage of now to make him feel that i'm more than enough for him. do you think i'm right?

Well ladies, the solution is on each person values, love and respect.

But I hate to say this to my Muslim females.

How could you live with a man that has another wife in some other places?

Do you really trust that man at all?

Are you are just too concern in taking care of your children and household?

The truth of your husband having other wife's, does it bothers you at all?

For me the issue of having lots of wife's is a double standard.

Regardless of a sacred writing thousand of years ago.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

You do not need to apologise for your beliefs or points of view. Also I do sympathise when it comes to trying hard to express your ideas in english. ENglish is not my first language and sometimes I do have a hard time to express myself coherently or make any sense at all! We put ourselves in a position where we could easily be misundertood. Not big deal.

YOu see...I don't agree with you. Marriages, as I understand them are partnerships with equality. Decisions are taken together, neither the wife or the husband should take decisions without the other partner agreeing 100%.

A different thing is when we actively seek to please our partner in all aspects in life, that's just a part of being in love. And it is, or rather it should be, a two way street.

Dvargas, Good day to u buddy! seems ur in the mood today.

Is that song for me? don't know the lyrics, and never heard it b4, what is it?

Please dont misunderstood our dear butterfly. Of course we fully aware that men and women are equals w/ their duties to our God almighty. But somehow in a husband & wife relations the situation varies.

How can a nation be lead by 2 presidents? though its possible, but can't be! or shall i say how any vehicle be driven by 2 drivers at a time? no sense! is there?

I respect other peoples POV, but for myself I prefer to be lead by my king, otherwise if he is going into the wrong way I could remind him and give good sugestions. Though other women choose to lead their marriage...but then its their own will and opinions. And that is respected.

Booty shaking song.

Promiscuous girl, who ever you are, stop teasing me, you know what you want and I got something that you want.

I love the beat but I hate the lyrics.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

"

that's mainly the point, but i was misunderstood by some fellows here. anywho, my apologies to everyone for causing troubles.

But hey, schalaunik love packages dóesn't meant for me as s*x in general, its a combination of love, respect, understanding, caring, supportiveness, obedient & all the good qualities that we been told by our dear prophet. Its not the matter of strong or not strong, of course we asian women are also strong as to the western as well, but some of us prefer to obey our hubby as long us it doesn't involve any act of sins.

For the relieve of some fellows, I edited my first post on this thread, "I am the queen in my home". Again my apologies for using the word slave...my mistake, after all i'm just a human subject to commit mistake.

I'd like to put my comments on this issue.

I am a filipina myself married to an Arabic men.

(pls. take note I am the first and only wife)

In my own opinion, if we... women/wives regardless of nationality provide the best satisfaction of our husband in all aspects (love, caring, respect, sex, understanding, what else?) Our husband will not even dare to look at other women! Why the men goes & look at other women? becoz there is something missing? Maybe his wife is good in sex, love, respect. But she lack of care and understanding? And he found it in his mistress. I know there's no such a perfect women but we wives must be clever enough to know the weakness of our husband, what he likes do it? what he dislike, try to avoid? for example, if my husband likes to go to some night clubs? Becoz he wants to watch ladies dancing in a seductive way???

then, I can do it myself, I can dance more seductive than they are at home w/ my husband as my audience, lol.

But sometimes we, wives has a pride of being a lady to our husband, sometimes we are too shy to show that we are dying for him, which is wrong for me. And there, comes a filipino traits of being honest and showy of their feelings.

We can be a wife and a flirty mistress to our husband, a friend to share funny stories, a mother to give logical advise, a father to support & share w/ him financially, a nanny to take care of his needs,and all in all be his queen in his kingdom.

He is my husband, I love him, I want him for me only, but not by forcing him to love me only and controlling him to look at me only. But by doing my very best to make him happy when he is w/ me. What he likes in me when he was courting me? My soft spoken words?, my being hygieneic? my caring personality? my sense of humor? my simplicity? my being honest towards him? and etc.? I need to maintain all of it! I have to be clever to catch his neck! It's normal for a man to look at other women, but if he found it w/ his wife what all he wants in a women....at the end of the day he will end up looking only.

I remember Ms. Sushmita Sen, (Ms. Universe 1994 from India)in her winning answer to: What is the essence of a real women? she replied: To be a perfect wife to our husband and a good mother to our children!

No offense to anyone.(God knows, not becoz I am a Filipina) but I dont put on my blame to a cheating husband and do I w/ a cheating wife. Its totally unfair because we don't know what's going on inside their home. We don't know how his wife deal w/ him. How they lived w/ each other. Who am I to judge them?

Let's give him our best, so no repentance will come at last.

Peace!

Butterfly i hope you never find yourself the slave of any man, because if you did, you would not be fulfilling your role as slave to Allah. Men and women are equals and they complement each others shortcomings if they first learn to control and discipline themselves. Sex is a weapon and a tool as are many things. I read recently in an issue of Jumah magazine a woman's comment about not blaming the car because a drunk driver ran over someone.

You are a slave butterfly, you didn't create yourself.

Mullie says: I and many other Western women Muslim or not, would rather burn in the firey pits of hell then be slaves to a man

Your eternal battle with Then and Than. You should be so ashamed!

As a recovering sex addict I can tell you one thing your mindset doesn't matter nor your race. In the game the only rule is to win by any means necessary and that includes lying. I have been celibate now for going on 11 years. Not by choice, but by command. I converted to Islam and since then my spirituality and desire to increase in Knowledge have replaced other urges. I have been engaged since entering Islam , but for one reason or another it didn't work out and I'm proud to say that sex wasn't the issue. It was getting to know one another, before making critical decesions and then having regrets. This thread should focus on the divorce rate today. It appears marriage these days is another form of hustling panties. Also, you missed the point that makes adultery such a huge social crime ( the affect it has on the community not just the adulterers).

qd06 nice comments keep it coming. I believe the CIA. "LIES". thankfully the statistic stating Muslim one are the most highly educated women with the most high level degrees was independent. Alhamdulillah not just Muslim women can think, Non-muslim women entering Islam are the fastest growing group still to this day.

sorry gotta go

good things happening

thank you muni,apple and PM

so i didnt advise the person completely wrong.

i thought hifz was recitation and didnt know what tajweed meant.

let me search that post and tell her that now.

hey i asked a question so there is nothing to mind if anyone can answer it.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

LOL yeah it's so true I have heard the same thing with African American men wanting "white" women because they are apparently submissive and more lady like!

Wow, never thought of it, but I guess every part of the world has it's trends.

Anyways these guys are dogs that are cheating on their wives...I think they are just to damned cheap to divorce their wives so they string'em along while they are in love with someone else.

I think the fact that they put their mistresses on display shows that they obviously have a lot contempt and disrespect towards their wives.

bbksiu...dont bother explaining anything over here........

no one wants to understand another's view as is evident by the 4 pages of this thread.

get ready to be pounced upon again.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

I feel sad for what some members think about Islam (i.e. "Islam is not for independent, strong, self sufficient women."

We have many strong women in Islam.

Khadijah supported her husband (prophet Muhammad). She was a lot older than him.

Other Muslim members can give details about other important women is Islam.

I don't think PM has been disrespectful at all. Apple is the one who has tried to tell her how she should behave with her husband. Using that lovely word "Obey."

Marriages are partnerships, neither partner should have to obey the other. If a partner does feel that they need to obey the other than there are serious problems in the realtionship.

It's wonderful that your husband is the boss of your house Apple, I'm very glad that you get to live your entirelife serving him, I'm sure you will go to Paradise. However, I and many other Western women Muslim or not, would rather burn in the firey pits of hell then be slaves to a man. We have minds of our own and our lives are more meaningful than simply serving a man.

Drake, if anyone has been defensive it's you. Obviously you fit into the category of men we are talking about, in other words one that thinks he's better than Western woman cause he's been turned down by them so many times. Sad really. Keep up that stellar attuitude, one day when your 50 + you'll be sitting at the kitchen table with your little submissive Asian wife and wishing that you had married someone you could carry on a conversation with, then you'll remember that none of those women would have you.

I don't know, who you are physically. Your writing tells me, that I could count for any advice from a woman perspective in brother hood terms .

The same from myself to you.

Thank you all

Respectfully

David

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

I had this same conversation with an African American female. Please insert white women in every place that people put filippina and place African American male of course old, balding and fat or pro athlete in the place of white men.

Some of them think that the only reason African American males marry white women are you guys are submissive, dependent, and always want to please your men. I guess they haven't been reading QL.

PM your posts towards Apple have been disrepectful. You can voice your opinion without being personal. Even when you "corrected" her the first time, she still showed you respect in her next post. I have met many scholars who have debated issues of greater importance than love packages however the thing is they always respected the other person. As a Muslim we should as a practice give everyone a level of respect regardless of their position, how they speak to us, how they dress, or what their religion is, or how they practice it.

Somethings are best kept in the dark. I would rather talk to the person who is cheating myself in hopes that they corrected their actions though. PM you are from the South so maybe you can attest to this also. I know many a girl my family told me I could not date or marry. I never understood it until I got a little older. Many southern gentlemen chose to have more than one family or a mistress on the otherside of town or in the next county. A lot of the wives knew about it but didn't care as long as it was not in their face. I still feel this is true today.

I have seen even financially independent, strong willed women chose to stay with their partner even when they have been caught cheating or continue to do so. ESL I would say the wives or husbands( because women cheat also)may already know but choose to ignore the indiscretions.

Act your age not your shoe size

Btw. Alexia..now to hijack my own thread...I do agree with PM that you really can't blanket all 1 billion followers of a religion into one category..say submissive and prostrate?

Really Muslim women are like all women in the world. They are comprised of various personalities and traits, sure some are weak and many more are strong, vocal and educated.

Do you honestly think it easy to practice the religion of Islam easily in the world today? Remember I am not refering to practicing in Qatar. In order to be a Muslim in todays world it takes perservernce and a strong will.

Muslims are being fought in all corners of the globe just for being Muslim. Those of us from the West clearly see the discrimination that Muslims as minorities face especially post 9/11.

It's unfortunate your friend didn't learn how to say "Mind you own business", but to generalize the people of one religion(which is comprised of countries and cultures all over the world) based on one person's opinion or a silly forum exchange is really an ill method to create such conclusions or statements.

couldn't agree more :)

yup...so much for adultery in Doha.

Well written, Alexia! Well, Dvargas can invite me too to balance the burden: I live very close, observing Christmas fasting (compelete vegetarian for a month) and no husband to come along with me. Would be nice to read the mind of Dvargas on what's a nice company he has gotten!!

Dvargas, thank you so much for the invite, but the problem is you offered to pay for the transportation and food so I have to decline the invitation... See, I live very far and I eat a lot, and if you wont be able to afford all that then both of us will be very embarrassed. However, I think I am the only single girl here, and the rest are someone else's "love packages". So you might want to invite their masters along, don't you think?

;-)

Been following this thread from the beginning. I am totaly agree with your post above. Why don't you people just agree to disagree?

Don't put it inside your heart what people said about you Apple. It is easier to talk whatever you want in the public forum under anonymous (spelling?) name. I doubt it people dare to speak the same way when they meet you in real life.

Each to their own i would say :-)

Actually PM, I cannot believe that u are an educated professor by the words coming from ur mouth. I can imagine how ur husband is suffering w/ u. Sorry to say that.

Btw, I am not forcing u to believe what I believe is right, nor to believe u what u think is right. My post is my words, if u disagree? fine! I dont expect everyone to agree w/ me. But to the extent that u belittle other person that is disrespectful and totally unislamic. We are all equal in the eyes of our God. If u become muslim by conversion and accept Islam in ur heart, then u should understand first the equality of all muslims, be she is from the east or from west. Pens off w/ u.

I have to say this with my heart and this will be my last posting, Every woman is entitled to their opinion and fair shared in writing of their frustrations. So is every man.

The question is:

What are you doing as an Individual to heal your pain?

Have you reconcile your "errors" to "growing pains" of maturity in your life.

Why do we continue posting the same anger always in different rhetoric.

Ladies you have a great wealth of intelligence, experience and morals,

Please chill out and keep this forum on the subject of Adultery in Doha.

And for Drake: We need to go out together and have some drinks, clubs action, restaurant visitation, fun and get to meet each other. In terms of serious man.

Give me your e-mail.

Ladies are welcome, I doubt it if you dare to step to the plate and be our Woman friends.

I'll pay for the transportation and food, the tab is on me.

Respectfully

David

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

I'm so glad I'm having a positive influence on you...babysteps.

Next lets work on your tendency be defensive everytime someone disagrees with you or makes you to consider another opinion.

C'mon you're a 'professor', read between the lines in posts and quite hanging on 'words'. Apple is a class-act and you have taken the low road everytime and haven't said a single constructive thing yet.

Keep your chin up grasshopper, there's hope for you yet! I'm not giving up on you.

I'd rather be angry and defensive than submissive and prostrating.

In my experience, every man who can't impress a girl enough to get anything in return feels that women are angry and defensive. It's a defense mechanism, really. "I am not getting any because they are all bad".

;-)

Han,

Tajweed- means to improve or to make better

Hifz- memorization

You have a husband! I thought that we could get Dvargas to introduce your left leaning political feminist self to his ex-wife. Because someone definitely needs to take the edge off of some of that pent-up frustration.

You could then move from being one of the majority of angry, defensive women to an Honorary Pinay. Trust me, your husband would feel like he died and went to heaven.

I totally agree!

"Islam is not for independent, strong, self sufficient women"

whats that supposed to mean now?

its good your friend didnt convert since she didnt have her head in the right place when she can so easily be convinced not to convert simply bcos all will tell her how to live her life...what rubbish?

no muslim tells u how to live ur life.

u live by quran and hadith...thats it.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

I have a friend who was thinking of converting to Islam, but she doesn't want to anymore. When I asked her why - she said that once you convert and become a Muslim, every Muslim out there will consider it his/her duty to tell you how to live your life as a Muslim. Frankly, I thought she was being silly - but now I can see that this is entirely true. And since she is not the type to prostrate or serve or anything like that, I think she made the right choice. Islam is not for independent, strong, self sufficient women. PM seems to be an exception to a general rule, but I don't think she's got it right as per Islam, so she doesn't really count. She won't prostrate, after all.. Bad, bad Muslimah you are, PM... I think you should read Apple's posts more, PM, maybe then you'll be able to become a proper Muslim woman.

my apologies for deviating a little bit...some one in another post asked about tajweed and hifz wrt islam and quran. i think i gave her the wrong advise...do u know the meaning of hifz and tajweed. i think hifz is byheart....i thot it was recitation...what is tajweed...any idea?

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Before u said... u have a wonderful filipina that works for u, and now ur telling me they're not trusty? Doesn't make any sense at all.

Anyway, why don't we go back to the orig post regarding cheating husband? Seems all man in this forum are faithful? nobody response to my previous post? Lolz.

PM, peace to u, its really nice chatting w/ u. actually I should say thank u, coz I learned something in this thread, I learned different POV from other wives in western country. So, Thank u.

PM, you describe yourself as the following in your profile:

"American living in Doha since 1999; Mom; University Professor; Left-Leaning Politically (I like to call it progressive!); Feminist; and ABOVE ALL Muslim!"

Yet in a response to Apple you state: "you seem to think I called myself "devout" when in actuality I am simply a Muslimah."

Can I then assume you mean you're an 'average or moderate' muslim? But in your profile you state this is your most important quality, even emphasised it in CAPITAL letters. One can only assume then that this makes you a below average mom, professor and feminist. (Explains a lot)

You may be booksmart 'professor', but I've had experience with pretentious teachers like you. You can recite theory out of a textbook, but in the real world your irrelevant teachings are neither practical nor feasible. As is confirmed by your exceptional ability to consistently miss the point.

PM one day starts her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up."

After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. PM said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am," he says, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."

dear pm..........i posted my posting before reading your latest posts....so pls dont take it wrong...its in response to your earlier post addressed to me.

salaam

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

dear PM,,,there u go again.why am i not surprised by your post.

why do u feel the need to be so defensive?

i dont need to defend anyone..nor do i see anyone as weak over here....we all have our strong views on every subject.it just felt like you need to go on and on with apple's original post.

respect does need to be earned.......but someone needs to start showing respect first too.......dont u feel so.i respect you for your point of view and i mentioned in my post you are right too in your stand point........but so is apple.

i asked my question out of curiosity.........and no u dont sit to relax back and agree with everyone.......then it wud be boring.....this is interesting bcos of so many different view points.

with regard to muslimah.......sorry......i mean the muslims who are posting on his thread are muslims, nothing more nor less.my apologies for any confusion that may arise out of the statement.

its my nature to respect everyone irrespective of whether they deserve respect or not........bcos the respect will come back to me.but then thats me.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

No, PM it's not that. Its not a matter of attacking u. I address my post to u to make u understand that love package doesnt mean to me as sexual aide and also being a muslimah like me, I felt embarassed the way u understand. U start attacking me in fact, u even leave me w/ a kind of muslim I want w/ my husband, w/c supposed not to be. If u think I am wrong w/ something why dont u also advise me as a muslimah? Our basis are the AlQuran & AlHadith. Believe me, I wont be upset.

I think so Han, actually I start to wonder now. Seems to me her hubby had a filipina mistress before?

(with all my respect to ur hubby, PM)

Even the Hadith of our dear prophet (PBUH), she want to revise.

Well, I was brought up by my parents like this. In fact until today when I called my mom on the phone, she always remind me to obey my husband and respect my in laws. I supposed not to listen to my mom but I must to follow our dear prophet(PBUH).

PM, ur right I am not a native English speaker like you, but I can understand and speak english though definitely not perfect.

But, at least I can understand you if you tell me u want to pinch my nose. But if I tell u in Tagalog that I want to pinch ur nose? do u understand me? You will probably say "yes, apple"

Now, if u cant give me a better points, please don't look at my spellings, if you're truly a native english u will still understand my words even if the spelling is not correct.

When I said, sour looser....it was the words of Tg. why not correct her first? Why me? Anyway God bless u PM, since ur interest is Islam (In ur profile)...I also presume that u need to research more.

What is everyone going on about? I don't believe Apple is one of the mistresses I was speaking about in my above post. Who cares what she does with her husband, at least it is her husband and not someone elses.

I thought we would discuss the adultery in Doha issue, unfortunately the topic seems to have gotten lost amongst all the bickering.

PM do u have something agaisnt apple? just curious.

u are entitled to your opinion but u seem bent on contradicting her in everything she is trying to convey.u keep hammering on the love package bit.whats the deal on this?

it was you who said "Having said that, I will leave you and your husband to be whatever kind of Muslims you like".whats that supposed to mean? that you are better at leading the islamic faith?

now when she quotes the meaning out of quran n why she prefers to do whatever she does u say "For instance, you seem to think I called myself "devout" when in actuality I am simply a Muslimah" n u want the man to look u straight in ur eye n speak to u respectfully.why do u feel her husband does not do the same with her?

u are right in what u want n how u look at your relationship n so is she?

we are all muslimah here.so lets respect n understand one another please.......

salaam

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Let me tell u a short story based on facts. Though this is not

to generalized the whole filipina. It hurts but its true.

We know a friend...a couple, the girl is filipina & the guy is western. The girl has an ex-partner of her age before she met her western hubby. Her story goes like this:

When she was w/ her ex-filipino partner, she used to be a battered wife, her husband was jobless, she earned for their living. She went to work in the morning and arrived home in the evening only to find her husband drunk, out of the small amount she earned the whole day of hard work. If she couldnt give any amount she will end up beaten. To make it short, they end up in divorced.

Now here comes a looser western guy she met, this guy is also divorced from his ex-wife. The reason behind their divorce is very similar to Dvargas divorce story (read Dvargas post).

2 lovely people met each other...the girl is looking for a loving,compassionate,responsible husband regardless of his looks. And the guy is looking for an obedient,caring,faithful wife regardless of her socio-status. The girl wants to feel how to be a wife in her home and the guy wants to feel that he is the man at home. They got married... happy, compatible, good chemistry. Regardless of their age gap their marriage is successful.

Now, tell me what's wrong w/ their marriage?

Although, it does not happened of same story to all filipina that were seen w/ western guy. And I am not trying to emphasize here that filipino males are all like that. It is just one story among them. Also I'd like to highlight this: "I am not supporting the filipina mistress in the original post" Plese dont get me wrong. I am supporting my points of view of how to be a good wife.

Cheers!

Loosers???

Personally, it is hard for me to distinguish looser western guy.

How do u describe them? based on ur post, besides their age 50+, is there any signs on their balding head & fatty tummy written "hey, I'm a sour looser western guy".

And what's wrong w/ 50+, fat, balding head western guy? are they not human for you...strong successful girls?

drake,

LOL, You make me laugh. I think Alexia has answered the question. A 55 Year old guy seeking a quick shag is not about love and compassion. Seeking your advise on the virtues of love and compassion is also knowing about the hot-spots in Thailand or Manila.

Apple, You got the answer - from Alexia.

You are wrong again drake, Less and less marriages India happen today with matrimonials and those women are certainly NOT available in bars and pubs to share their "love and compassion" with sour loosers and paedophiles.

Han- For me this is nothing more serious than a chewing gum-enjoy.

anger.........frustrations........generalisations.........picking out words and commenting on it instead of taking the entire context............personal attacks...........personalised judgements................trying hard to prove a point.............straying away from the main subject..................nasty habit of telling members to exit if they cant handle discussions...............more anger....................sometimes abuses.

seems to be the norm of most discussions on QL.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

"Why is it a large numbers of man of different nationals are seen w/ filipinas????"

Because no other women would want to be with them? Filipinas generally don't mind whether the man they're dating is a loser or not.

Of course there are exceptions. But take a stroll down City Centre and check out these couples. Either GIs who are here for a short period of time and need a 20+ something girl to pass their time, or 50+ something contract workers who are here for a year or two and need a girl to pass their time while their wives are waiting for them back home, or 50+ something contract workers whose wives dumped them and who need a 20+ something girl to marry.

"Who needs love and compassion." When its time for you to find a woman, your Mommy and Daddy will just put an ad in The Matrimonial section of the Gulf-Times classifieds to arrange a woman for you.

Getting advice from you on relationships is like a blind man picking a porno ;-)

My Dear han19, none taken, not at all.

Tg, No idea about the percentage of cheating filipino husbands but I don't deny it, yes! there is. And I believe it is happening in every corner part of the world.

Tg asked:

"Why is that a large percentage of filipinas are seen w/ nationals other than filipinos?"

Wrong question....it should be....

"Why is it a large numbers of man of different nationals are seen w/ filipinas????"

Hmmmm, why?

B'fly, agreed... back to the topic.

Since the orig topic was about a cheating husband...let's hear from their side on why do they cheat their wives? Why they choosed to engage in such extra-marital affair?

Just for precautionary measures to all wives in this site.

Any cheating husband here??? Please bring up ur comments.

B'fly, agreed... back to the topic.

Since the orig topic was about a cheating husband...let's hear from their side on why do they cheat their wives? Why they choosed to engage in such extra-marital affair?

Just for precautionary measures to all wives in this site.

Any cheating husband here??? Please bring up ur comments.

The true Muslim woman is always obedient to her husband, provided that no sin is involved. She is respectful towards him and is always eager to please him and make him happy. If he is poor, she does not complain about his being unable to spend much. She does not complain about her housework, because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced.

The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her house and husband. She knows her husband's rights over her, and how great they are, as was confirmed by the Prophet's words:

"If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered women to prostrate to their husbands."11

****PROSTRATE:

verb-To put or throw flat w/ the face down as in

submission or adoration.

Adj.-Lying face down as in submission or adoration.

A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): "Who has the greatest rights over a woman?" He said, "Her husband." She asked, `And who has the greatest rights over a man?" He said, "His mother."12

A woman came to ask the Prophet (PBUH) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, "Do you have a husband?" She said, "Yes." He asked her, "How are you with him?" She said, "I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me." He said, "Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell."13

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.'"15

The Muslim woman does not forget that her obedience to her husband is one of the things that may lead her to Paradise, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

Being you as a devout Muslimah(u said)....giving a full best package of love to your husband...do u consider urself as her sexual aide??? You don't probably understand my first post. When u start reading w/ anger, u will pick up the words to hit me.

Now, I understand why u keep saying about this modesty-modesty private life, which I was puzzled enough to what the hell I've said to ruined my modesty?

I would probably understand a non-moslems european wives on how they react to my recent post, but w/ u as you are claiming that u'r a devout muslimah??? well, here are for ur reference.

One Hail to the Captain! The storm has passed finally.

I don't think there is not much to be said. I'm done with this "Fascinating Stories" and "Personal Statements".

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Drake, congratulations! I like your literature review. Just wondering what were the cohorts for all those researches? It seems to me, the studies are biased as if they've taken happy men and unhappy women. Frankly, are all women around you that angry, upset and depressed?

Thank you butterfly.... Speaking ones mind is one thing but being

hurtful or disrepectful is another. You can speak your mind without being disrespectful.

If you don't agree don't agree. I have met Asian women who are very independent as well as western women who are very dependent. It is a choice of what things are important to you and how you choose to live your life.

If some disagrees with you don't take it personal and go on evil tirades meant to belittle the other person.

Act your age not your shoe size

After re-reading Apple's comments, I somewhat agree to what she says. I've seen only too often how some women, once married and with children start to let themselves go, dont bother about looking good for their husbands and become lazy and insensitive, often their egos growing just as huge as their butts. No wonder their husbands choose to run away with the first young, exotic and submisive girl that turns up!

It's not about being a slave...certanly I have no problem whatsoever with ironing my husband's shirts or dancing for him in the bedroom, just as he has no issues with cooking a nice meal or cleaning the bathroom inside out during his day off. Call it submission if you like, I prefer to call it love.

But lets just not judge others based on stereotypes or without knowing what goes on inside the relationship.

Deleted

As I know, if a woman still want to stay with her husband, that would be ok. If the woman wants children; then, she could get divorced to remary another man.

Regarding Islamic questions, you can always ask people who have more knowledge. A scholar in www.islamonline.net & www.islamweb.net

Well written.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Dvargas,

Yeah I was wondering that your reply made no sense. Please revisit the initial post.Infact If its about lack of transportation and lack of money it can't happen only when wife and children are away.

By the way I have no religious or social issues with co-habitation between un-married/divorced adults. I think its perfectly fine in my opinion. How the middle east views it is a different story.

Muslims need to learn from this story. Do we need to change the Quraan & the Hadeeth to satisfay other people? In the West many criticize Islam. For example, they say that "Why are women not allowed to marry four men while men are allowed to marry four women?" They think that Islam dehumanizes women,...etc.

Well, "Cultural Relativism" is adapted by many societies who respect other societies. All people could respect each others' laws.

Juhaa & his son were walking with their donkey. Juha rode the donkey while his son walked. People saw that & said: "Look this man is not a good father. He made his little son walk while he rode the donkey."

Then, Juhaa dismounted & let his son ride. People saw that & said "Look, this son is rude. His old father is walking while he is riding the donkey."

Then, Juhaa rode the donkey with his son. People saw that & said: "Oh, look at these men. They both rode the poor donkey. They are not merciful to animals." Then, Juhaa & his son left the monkey on their arms. People saw that & said: "Are these people crazy. Why dopn't they ride the healthy donkey instead of carrying it? They are funny. HAHAHA."

My question to the "flaunting man" and his "vacation girlfriend" both will be..What the hell you think you are doing??

I'm lost, Where did you got this writting from? I need to read it all to conclude to my opinion.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

You mean we gonna get whipped too?

I can't wait!!

bbksiu; Then what if the man cannot produce children?

(Which is more and more common, actually. Hate to be the one to bring it to your attention...)

Mulie, you speak your mind. I love that.

And whenever I think of your "oogle comment" (the "men-not-allowed-to-watch-female-sports-thread) some weeks back I smile widely. :)

Oogles, C.

Please think about what is called ("Cultural" Relativism) when you do not like some "cultural" aspects of a "culture".

In Islam, A man can marry another wife if the first wife could not produce children, ill,..etc. There are lots of reason to marry more than one woman.

A woman cannot marry more than one man. If her husband died, or they got divorced. She can marry again.

Hah, "Captain" Don't let the bald ones walk the plank.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Dvargas,

We need to revisit the issue by the original poster "Men flaunting there "vacation girl friends" with gay abandon completely immune to the "love and admiration" of neighbours. And then, someone jumped in the argument of the "wife's fault" argument with a wide ranging lecture including "dancing like a streetwomen (PC Term)".

My question to the "flaunting man" and his "vacation girlfriend" both will be..What the hell you think you are doing??

I enjoy reading a woman that speaks her mind freely and sincerely. But there is a fine line of political correctness for every word being writing and said.

A- Alexia

1- No one should be the boss.

2- Everyone has weakness in a marriage.

3- What areas you strong with, Could be the weakness of your other half.

So leadership of someone and skill takes over to correct the deficiency as long there is a common understanding in what you are doing that benefit both of you.

Example of that:

1- Balancing a check book and maintaining the budget on a balance.

1a- Some man can’t budget worth a dammed. Or the woman spends too much.

2- Someone has to take control of the budget and impose discipline in the spending. Speak your mind and educate each other.

3- In reverence to the love package ladies:

3a-Is about having a good stamina, imagination and initiatives to meet each others desires, entertainment and demand on the sanctuary of their domain.(Bed) and being able to satisfy each other.

What if my woman decides to dance crazy for me on my bed?

Hell, I probably do the same with her and many things that will come to my imagination.

And for older man dating younger woman, Is not about the money always is about being you and your goals.

Respectfully

David

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Ok in case you haven't been reading, once again a woman who states her opinion is not an angry woman, she is simply a woman with a mind of her own. Nobody calls a guy whos says what he wants an angry man do they? No.

I'm sure you have lived through some hardship in your life, most people have, but don't presume that I am you.

I am living my life to the fullest and the happiest I can and part of living that life is saying what I want to and being honest, not letting things fester inside.

I've said what I want. I'm sick and tired of hearing Western mens and Asian womens comparisons of Western women and Asian women. It is wrong and sterotypical, and after 4 years I'm tired of it. I'm not going to keep my opinions to myself and tell myself that I should be more submissive if I want a man because that's the attitude I've had to live with for 4 years now. No. I'm going to be me, and I'm not going to pretend that this sterotypical degrading attitude is in anyway acceptable.

Apple can go ahead and be a slave for her husband, so can any other chick out there. But don't tell me that's what I need to do to have a man, and if it is than there's a problem with men not with me or any other independent, smart, sefl assured and opiniated woman out there.

Point well taken.

I was in those shoes of anger, frustration and despair.

The only healing that I found was to ask for forgiveness, and to forgive. That will give you peace of the heart and tranquility of the soul.

You are 26 and very angry. I recomend you to watch the movie:

Diaries of an Angry Black woman. Pay attention to the end of the movie. I lived those moments in my life.

Other wise you will grow old and sour very fast.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

I know he is PM that's why I used him as an example. People always assume a women is angry simply because she is willing to speak her mind and point out the obvious, Obviously if we are happy in our lives without a husband there is something wrong with us. Sad really.

Thank you TG. ;) I loved your question too and I wish someone would answer it.

Mulie,

You deserve respect for speaking the truth. Rest all that love and compassion part, in my opinion,is a load of ballbox. A man and a woman are individuals in their own right.The huge age difference between the man and the women in these hook-ups is a clear give away.

[img_assist|nid=4718|title=kudos to getting a head start Mulie|desc=I think you got what it takes to join the grumpy old women as a poster girl|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=157]

Of course! I'm angry too! Really I'm stating how I feel and not being passive aggressive at all. And I'm not thrity something and I have a partner.

But than again. You don't like women with opinions do you?

I think a few women on this forum have proven the findings of this study:

IT is the research finding every man suspected, and every women will vehemently disagree with - women are the angrier sex.

New research that examined the responses of 22,000 people over 50 years has found that women are more likely to feel angry and persistently frustrated than men.

A recent study at Middlesex University suggested that old women tend to be grumpier than old men. The new report found that while men tend to become more tolerant as they get older, women stay angrier than ever, falling out with their friends, getting irritated by strangers in the street and feeling frustrated by the vagaries of modern technology.

They also are more likely to act on their frustration in an unhealthy manner, choosing passive aggression over non-violent confrontation, psychologists say.

And Hell really has no fury like a woman scorned, as thirtysomething women with no partner are far more likely to report angry feelings than those with partners.

University of London psychologist Windy Dryden said the study confirms previous research in which diary (and forum) entries of American men and women found substantially more references to anger in the women's journals (and forums).

Dr Dryden, who runs a clinical practice in London, said his work with patients suggests women respond to anger in a less constructive manner than men.

He said: "Instead of using it as an opportunity for assertion, they tend not to deal with it directly, often becoming passively aggressive, talking behind people's backs, or taking feelings out on other people.

"Men have their own problems - violence mainly - but I don't think women have learned to use anger for the positive," he said.

Some quotes from Mulie:

"You and your subservience to men disgust me"

"ESL Teachers orginal topic and all the comments that have followed make me sick"

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves."

"I am sick of it"

Damn girl you got some serious issues. Are you the Bunny Boiler from Fatal Attraction?

LOL PM. Don't you realize, the only reason I must think badly of men is because I've had a bad experience with them! And of course I must be married, because women must be married.

Dvargas, you are funny. "If you are married who is the boss in your house" - what the hell is that supposed to mean? Why should there be a boss in her house? Why would Mulie or her husband/boyfriend want to assume the role of the boss in the house?

Or is it that those men are glorifying themselves with the thought that they are the "bosses" of those women? And they most certainly are. Well good for them. They get "love package" and they get to be the boss.

No, not all Asian girls are submissive slaves to their husbands and boyfriends and not all Western men are losers who can only get an Asian girl. And not all Western women are so awesome either. But 90% of Western men and Asian girls here who coupled up in the Middle East fit this description. And 90% of Western women who came here to work will not give those men a second look.

I liked what was said in this thread previously - no matter how submissive a girl can be in her marriage this is no guarantee that her husband won't stray. Yes Apple you can dance for your husband in a seductive manner all you want but if he likes looking at other girls dancing then trust me, your dancing won't stop him from going and watching. You cannot respect a submissive slave and treat her as an equal, think about that.

Yes of course Dvargas, I call it like I see it so therefore some man must have hurt me, it can't possibly be what I've seen with my own eyes! I must have been dumped at some point. As I said I've lived in 5 Asian countries in the last 4 years and I've seen this in every country I go too! And I hear this bull about how wonderful submissive Asian women are and how horrible Western women are from the same ageing, fat, balding losers.

Look at your own signature. I'm simply telling the truth.

oh, and although I don't see the point of your questions,

No I'm not married and I don't have kids. But I'm 26 and don't really want those things right now. And I'm a Kiwi.

Being in a relationship is not to surpress but to LIVE and LET LIVE. Reaching out to each other as a friend, and becoming the confidant and companion that the other one needs, is the true magic and beauty of any two people together. It's inspiring in each other a dream or a feeling, and having faith in each other and not giving up.

he he he, yeah, i got your point, lolz ;)

After reading so many generalisations. Lets just not take it too seriously Marco...

what happen butterfly, did you loose your wit with this topic?,...

Anyhow, each and everyone have their own opinion, the only thing, i think, we need to do is respect one another opinion, might it be discriminatory or even absurd comment, as saying goes, "love begets love" ;)

That's discriminatory butterfly! How dare you say that. :P

all philippina girls are sexual slaves looking a balding loser to please, all men in Asia are complete bastards, or better yet, all men all over the world are bastards, and all western women are too selfish and selfcentered to be in a relationship.

Men that can't function in their home countries (and some women too) come over to these countries and wind up with beautiful submissive Asian girls hanging all over them hoping for a a free ticket to a Western country (which they will never get too because these men are losers in their own countries). They think the reason these women hang off them is because they appreciate them and they blame Western women for being too independent and demanding and that's why they couldn't get a date with any. It's laughable. It's two groups of people fooling themselves.

This is the 5th Asian country I've lived in. This is not unique to here, nor is it that uncommon.

Mulie says " The reason men in Qatar behave the way they do is because they can" that is undeniably true. It is human nature to push the limits and if you can get away with acting in a certain way there is often no incentive to change bad behavior. It is also true that here you see fat,old and ugly balding men running around with young Asian (often Phillipina girls) half their age. In their own countries such men would probably have trouble getting a date with a dog.

But just because some men are total assholes and some Asian women are willing to cheapen themselves with such men does not mean that this is the norm. I don't think it is. We notice these things for two reasons:

1. We rarely if ever, see them in our home countries so they really stick out here.

2. There are many single Asian girls here. Despite all the talk of the massive ratio of men to women, 90% of the men here are laborers who have little or no money to spend and don't go out. The majority of the Asian girls work in the service sector, restaurants and stores and far out number the men doing these jobs. They don't get paid much and many of these girls are lonely and would rather even have the attention of some of the loser men here than none at all.

Having said all the above, I think the majority of men here are not the way they have been painted in this thread and the Phillipina girls are for the most part both pretty and decent self respecting human beings. They are not the money grubbing sex slaves that some men (and women) would like to think they are.

We see such extreme behavior here that we tend to think it is normal or more widespread than it really is.

I don't think we should give Apple a break. The reason men in Qatar behave the way they do is because they can, and girls like Apple allow them too, by pretending to be better then other women who stand up for their rights and treat men like equals rather then masters. She and others like her try and say that the reason western wives or western girls have trouble here is because they don't "know how to treat a man" when really it's that the men here don't know how to treat us because they are used to being able to push women around. They try and make strong independent women feel guilty for their hard won and hard kept independence. We are somehow "less than women" because of this. They feed the one and only argument that men like Drake have, that it's our fault we have problems because we don't know our "place" we aren't good enough mothers, or god fearing enough or whatever other weak excuse they can come up with to hide the fact that the real reason they date women like this is because they can't get a real woman with a brain and a backbone.

This is an attitude I'm am confronted with again and again throughout Asia and I am sick of it. It's degrading and demeaning.

Mulie that is the point of the original post. It's not to make you feel warm and cuddley inside.

And everybody give Apple a break. I agree with richard (I think he said this)that some of her words are taken out of context and hey, if both her and her husband are happy who are we to judge?

Yes Apple I'm sure your husband loves the fact that you play his submissive little slave with your "Yes sir, no sir, how high should I jump sir?" What guy wouldn't like his ego stroked like that? Fillipina's like you give Asian women, and women in general, a bad name. You and your subservience to men disgust me.

And Drake, I love the "Western women on a soap box" too. Fantastic. Why don't you admit the real reason you like Fillipinas (and it isn't cause they are attractive, cause lord knows most aren't) but because you can't handle or get a women who is your equal, so you have to settle for a women who will love you for your wallet.

ESL Teachers orginal topic and all the comments that have followed make me sick. This is exactly what is wrong with this region.. THE MEN. You come here and you behave like spoiled children and women are toys to be played with. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

isnt that too harsh n unfair a question to put on apples' lap.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

I have a question which you certainly have the answer. Despite all the exalting qualities of filipinas, Any Idea what Percertage of Filipinos (Males) Cheat their wives?? Why is it that a large percentage of Filipinas are seen with nationals other than filipinos??

I have said this many times in my life and this time I mean it. I think "honey" has a point. I don't know much about Asian girls (unfortunately) but I have dated a Phillipina (not here but in the US). I think one of the reasons they are so attractive to western men and men in general, apart from the fact that they are often very pretty, is that they usually have very strong family and religious values. They are not obsessed by money despite what others have said here, and they tend to be very affectionate. People with strong family values tend to be more open, affectionate and giving than those who don't share those values. I lived in Spain for a while and found the same thing there (wish I had married a Spanish girl).

Northern European and American societies tend to be much more individualistic and self reliant and that produces a different way of dealing with relationships. There is more value placed on individualism and material success and the family is sometimes considered a burden rather than an asset. In my experience, Fillipinas and Spaniards value their families greatly and that generosity of spirit becomes part of all their relationships.

Maybe, just maybe that's all there is to it.

i'm not agree by someone saying that asian girls only grabing guys with big pocket,let's say we like guys with a good job for better future. i my self married some european guy find it different when i saw some european couples, they are so independent to each other ( sharing for restaurants bill, etc) while most of us so depending to each other, i take care of everything and he is taking care of the finance, take and give.

also i agree with your statement apple, about husband and wife relation, make him as a king at home and im sure he wont buy anything outside, just the matter of satisfaction!

statement deleted.

signed in..

and in 9 chances out of 10 you will get a wife who all her life will be proving that she dances better than those in clubs, her house is cleaner, husband is happier and cherry pies are tastier even than those his mother baked for him.

Originally posted by TinyEve: "In my country housewives offer hmm... a love package to their husbands too, continiously improve the skills to "proof qualifications".

Sign me up ;-)

In my country housewives offer hmm... a love package to their husbands too, continiously improve the skills to "proof qualifications" (e.g. dancing in a seductive way if noticed a husband visits night clubs - cited from Apple's post). Most of the women later confessed they made poor quality show, danced unprofessionally, tried on wrong image, looked silly and lost points in their own eyes..

You cannot always strive for excellence - let your husband watch others dancing

PM, why u always say about private life? Of course private life should always be kept private. And I am not talking about my private life. I am talking about how womens should be to her hubby in behalf of all other asian wifes (espcly filipina in this forum in my own POV. Ok I may be wrong in using the word slaves and sorry for that. But did I say anything wrong that would ruined my modesty as a Muslimah? Did I post my pic on here,? so, fellows on this forum will recognize my hubby? Thus, degrading our dignity?

This is an open forum, members can write what they want, its a matter of sharing one's ideas and opinions. Sometimes we help other members w/ the infos that we wrote down here. And my first msg in this thread is just an infos regarding filipina wife, I just used example of myself coz it happens that I am a Filipina and married to guy none of my nationality.

"I will leave you and your husband to be whatever kind of Muslims you like".

PM, Allah kareem! God is great, He, who knows everything.

Peace!

Apple

It does not matter if women outnumber men or men outnumber women. The rational about men being able to marry more than one wife is far complicated than you would think. And seriously whoever is saying that men are allowed to marry more than one wife, because that women outnumber women is BullSh*t and ignorant.

I guarantee you that most educated men do not pratice polygomy. There are a lot of history and tradiation and poor education that result in polygomy.

But I do agree with you about the conspiracy thing. Many people here believe everything is a conspiracy, but look around you and maybe you will figure out why they think this.

It is hard for some people in the mideast to believe that europeans do not have the same mind set they had in 1800s &early 1900s and that europeans actully are not racists and arrogant as they used to be in the past.---->This is where the problem starts!!!

PM, I do appreciate ur advice. But.........

the sentence "I give my husband my best love package" is totally different when I say "Let's just give our husband w/ our best love package".

Instead of being demanding or whatever. I think that is the smartest way to keep him love you and prevent him from cheating you which is the main subject of this thread.

And for God's sake I am not advertising how I'm M***** L*** w/ my husband here. What I'm trying to say is how we filipina girls in general do take care of our hubby and in my own points of view, how we should be! Does it mean I am not modest at all?

Oh yes! I am Muslimah from head to foot, my root, my whole family, every single drop of my blood is Muslimah. Also yes! my hubby is a moslem, and he is proud of me. Dont worry PM, my hubby won't disagree to what I said in my previous post, he himself will probably tell u if u ask him that he is 99.9%happily married w/ me.

Wassalam Alykum!

Apple

To quote the reverend Chris Rock: "A man is basically as faithful as his options."

If the wife wants to go home cuz she's bored and leave the man in Doha, there's a better chance for an opportunity to present itself. But to flaunt it is crazy cuz rumors travel round Doha like a Chinese Whisper.

To think that you can keep your spouse from cheating by doing all the right things to keep him or her happy is, at best, naive.

Not all spouses cheat, but those that do, will do it regardless of whether you are subservient, equal, or superior to him or her.

And, it is quite common that many Western men (married or not)AND many Asian women equally pursue these "win-win" relationships. To deny this is also quite naive.

I'm with the original poster - do what floats your boat, but is it quite necessary to flaunt your indiscretions in the face of your friends, co-workers, and neighbors?

You didn't say you were polite! So when you boss me you would say Please and Thank You?

The vampires are never happy when someone is alive. :-) We call them crabs in a barrel.

Act your age not your shoe size

That was not the point PM. Alexia asked one question and Butterfly asked about the four wives. Alexia used the facts from the CIA to counter BBKSUI. BBKsui did not fully explain polygamy in Islam due to language problems or his understanding. He just referenced more men than women. I just don't believe the CIA fact book not out of conspriracy theories. I just know our government having worked in this area.

Here are a few more CTs- crack cocaine being brought into the inner city neighborhoods as a by product of CIA operations... oopps my bad Iran Contra was just a fantasy. Ooopss the CIA did not help to fund the Mujahideen in Afghanistan against the Soviets another conspiracy theory that came true. Not all CTs are true but I would not put anything past human beings.I choose not to hide behind "facts". My wife has worked doing statistical analysis for years. I have seen first hand how statistics can be tweaked here and there to show the outcome you want to show.

Yes Allah allowed polygamy and we should follow it as Muslims. But you also have to explain it to others who are Muslim and non Muslims. I tell my child not to do something but there is also a reason behind it. We don't know every explanation but a lot of things in our religion have been explained in the Quran and by our Prophet peace be upon him. As I said a Muslim scholar gave this explanation because a Muslim sister asked the same question, Butterfly asked. The DNA testing is something that is relatively new so how would they have found out 30 years ago. Since we have DNA testing should we now change a rule that Allah set ( of course not) but humans will try to justify it.

Peace

Act your age not your shoe size

Goodness, Dvargas sounds quite painful. Tis true women can also hurt men, and are not always victims. My post seems very one-sided because I was just referring to the situation in Doha. Anywho, I am happy to hear you are moving along with your life.

Hahaha Drake no I am not only confident and demanding. I am also pretty, fit, well educated, well travelled and I make tons of money. And I don't suffer from lack of attention. I simply have different priorities than getting married at the moment, so I'd take your number cause I'm polite but don't expect a call.

;-)

PM - Yes of course the number of women per number of men is used as a justification for polygyny. Just look at this conversation. People don't believe CIA statistics and DNA testing but they believe it when they're told in the mosque that women outnumber men and therefore polygyny makes sense.

As soon as you stood on your soapbox and immediately got defensive I drifted off...

So the qualities you have to offer are that your confident and demanding? Sounds like you're quite a catch; I bet the men are lining up to hook you.

To ask you Apples question again: How would you love and care for your husband? Or haven't you ever thought of it?

qd06 - yes I do believe CIA reports. If you don't - go look up each country's statistics individually. I suggest you start with Qatar Planning Council. Here is the link for your convenience: http://www.planning.gov.qa/AnnAbs/2006/First-Section/Pubulation/Popu&Social.htm

And what's wrong with DNA testing anyway? It sure works better than the word of the fourth wife that the kid is definitely her husband's!

;-)

Alexia,

You actually believe the CIA reports. :-) funny. It is more to it than just the women outnumbering the men. In case such as wars an other stupid things that men do. The population in some areas are such that the women do outnumber the men.

The facts also depends on who is reporting them and why. Why would I tell you 200 of my soldiers died? I can just say ten died to your hundred to make you feel like you are losing. I report it and it becomes fact.

Marry four wives is not something to be taken lightly by the men. In such cases as above wars or shifts in population it is seen a way to help the society continue and function. As well as keep standard family structures intact. Butterfly, I heard a Muslim scholar explain this sort of like this. If a women had four husbands and each one had relations with her and she became pregnant how would you know who the father was (besides DNA testing). However if a man has four wives and he has relations with all of them.. and they all become pregnant. Who is the father. Some women say this is not valid and I tell them I didn't make the rules I just follow them. :-) If you got a problem talk to the person upstairs.

Many people don't study history. Why was polygamy outlawed in Western countries? It had nothing to do with religion (Christianity) but culture at the time?

Act your age not your shoe size

the word slave has brought about this commotion.

i dont know about the western lifestyle so i wont comment on it either.

but among asians.....a lot of importance is given to married life and that means serving one another and a whole bunch of compromises that come along with.the easy ticket to any problem is not divorce or extramarital affair...but a whole lot of counselling that comes in the form of parents and elders of the 2 families the couple belong to..

lots of asians are free minded self employed individuals but as wives...they still feel the need to serve the husband and husbands do their bit to.this does not mean slavery or submission...you are doing what you want to do.you make a choice to do so.if u want to obey you hubby its your choice...if not its again your choice..........there neednt be any repercussions bcos of any such disobedience.

whats wrong with a confident demanding independant asian woman fulfilling her hubby's silly desires,like wanting to make his breakfast in the style he likes,accepting his decisions on whatever matter?

is that an indication of slavery?

i dont think so.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Only Love & Respect of Others Makes Human.

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I thought you are happy with your mate. are u seeking to marry four?!?

I like this thread. A lot of women nowdays have lost the point. It is not about owning someone but wanting to see that person happy and taking pleasure in their happiness. How can you be a prisoner when you hold the key?

My mother made sure all her sons knew how to cook and clean. I can do this better than many woman that I have been around. However I let my wife do these things for me and I help when she needs assistance. I know she can open her own soda cans but she lets me. I can feed my ownself but I let her do it sometimes and I also feed her. We have to depend on each other so in terms we are slaves to each other because in Islam a slave has the same rights as the master (yes a lot of Muslims have forgotten this or choose to ignore it). The context of the word slave to a most Muslims means something different than what most westerners think of the same word. The context for most Westerners when you say slave is one who is subservient and beneath their owner, being whipped,sold and chained. For most Muslims we are servants of Allah so we see this as a beautiful thing. I heard someone ask Angela Davis once what does freedom mean to her? She answered I can't tell you much about freedom because I have never truly been free.

We always depend on someone. Husband depend on wives, wive depend on husbands, children depend on parents then parents depend on children. I work and depend on my company to give me money. My company depends on me to work so they can make money. If I can't fix my car I depend on my mechanic who in turns depends on me for money for his livelyhood. We all depend on our creator wheter we believe in such a thing or not.

Act your age not your shoe size

so, in islam the logic behind of four wives for a man is that being more women than men, it kind of balances out...

well, if there are more men than women in the Gulf, shouldn't women be entitled to have up to four husbands?

mmm, que?

I asked my male flatmate just now (he's Western) what he is looking for in a wife and he said that she has to be smart, educated, self confident, independent, employed, honest and outgoing. I guess "compassion, passion, sincerity, attentiveness, a good mother, god-fearing" are not on everyone's priority list.

And for your information, Drake, I am not looking for a "provider" or a "perfect husband". I can provide for myself, and nobody is perfect. I would want him to love me and to be able to provide for himself at least. Compassion, passion and sincerity are all called "love". And whether you like hearing it or not, Western women are much less likely to be "slaves" to their husbands than Eastern women. I guess you should stick to your Filipina. After all, a "good Filipina" (using your own words) is way better than a confident, demanding Western woman. If you can't meet expectations - I guess Filipina is the way to go. Submission guaranteed!

Back to the hilarious statement that "in Muslim countries there are more men than women".

Go to https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/index.html

Choose ANY Muslim country.

Read the statistics.

Of course it is something that is being stuffed into gullible idiots' heads: there are more women then men, therefore men are entitled to marry more than one. When it comes to actually looking things up - the facts dont stick. Sorry to burst your bubble, Bbksiu.

I'm from the West and have dated a lot of women from the west as well as asian. I am currently dating a Filipina and can understand Apples points, all the great qualities she possesses my girlfriend has. To a western woman they immediately stand on the soapbox and say how no man is going to treat them like a slave, blahblahblah (I quit listening after this so I'm not sure what they continue to rant about).

Where a lot of women, whether your from the west or east, seek out a man who can be the provider first and the perfect husband second, a successful man can and should look for a women for qualities such as compassion, passion, sincerity, attentiveness, a good mother, god-fearing, etc. these are all qualities that in my experience a good Filipina has over a woman from the west. (btw, if a successful women wants to provide for me, that is also acceptable as I would make a good slave)

I know many men here from the west who work all day and their western wives don't work and they still have driver's and housemaids. What is the wife contributing to the relationship? If he asks the wife to contribute by doing some of the cooking and cleaning is she his slave? I know other men who have wives who decide they don't like Qatar so they go home while the husband continues to work here and also support the wife in their home country. Again, what is the wife contributing and how is she supporting her husband? I think this is so selfish on the wife's part. What's the point of being married?

Filipina's truly do make the effort to make their man happy, and for a man that feeling is contagious and reciprocated in return. Something it sounds like a lot of women in the west could learn from.

Bbksiu - are you serious? Where in Muslim countries there are fewer men than women? Lets not go very far and take Qatar as example, shall we? And what are you on about anyway, are we talking about polygamy??

Alexia, I ment when we have questions about Islam, you could ask Muslim scholars. There are fewer men than women in Muslim countries.As I know, a Muslim man could marry up to four women. He could marry one, two, three, or four. He cannot marry sisters.

He MUST be fair to all of them. If he bought a ring to one of them, he must buy a ring for the others too. If he spent a day with one of them, he must spend a day with each of his wives.

" I would love to understand how a european wifes take care their hubby?"

According to my husband, caring-wives in France spread the butter onto the toasts for their husbands. Or so he says whenever he wants toasts for breakfast!

On a serious note, I thought the word "slave" was a pretty bad choice too. I don't know how to answer your question...For me is just enjoying the little time I spend wiht my husband and making the most of it.

Han19 and Apple - I didn't generalise anything at any point. If you think that what I posted is wrong and not true - fine by me, I dont feel the need to make the whole world agree with me.

;-)

i am with you apple on your point of view.

being a slave does not mean you are chained to your hubby and fulfilling his evil desires.apple meant it as a term to imply committment(wrong word apple:-(

who said asians dont have equality in marraiges?

alexia you are very strong n vocal in your disapproval (difference in opinion...its fine and acceptable..u are entitled to it) but you dont like it if someone shows the similar dissapproval to your ideas......you get offensive.

you asked who can tell u, you are wrong...well i will tell u you are wrong bcos u are generalising the entire scenario.

i am equal to my hubby but that does not mean i wont fulfill his slightest desire........bcos if he is happy with me he will respect me bcos i love him and do my best to keep him happy and in turn he will do the same for me.

i would like to read ur answer to apples questions?

fact of the matter is there are marriages where the spouses stray away....like i mentioned earlier we dont know the dynamics of anyones marraige so we cant be judges.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Alexia, I know it doesn't work for all, but I think it does work for a majority of man.

Yup, ur right! the reasons why a lot of filipina girls married to different nationalities and not only mistresses.

Btw, the word slave in my recent post doesn't mean that our husband treat us like a slaves, but instead... follow his orders being his wife. And FYI, I never heard anyone (God our witness) telling me that my husband is ugly, but instead they told me: "hey girl, ur lucky enough to have a good looking, young, educated husband. You must take care of him" Oh yeah I will!"

Alexia, why dont u share to us how u love and care ur husband. We are of different individuals & nationality here, I would love to understand how a european wifes take care their hubby? I already told u how we, filipina do care for our hubby. After all it is good to understand different cultures and ways. This is knowledge isnt it?

P.S. Sorry to burst ur tears w/ my recent post. I was just proud of how I love and care my hubby, not because of his pocket (I can work for my own money, I got education) but because of how the way he love me too. If I die and live again I would still choose to marry him. (Han19, Do I sounds like mujahid now? lol!)

Qhell were you answering my post? If yes, could you please point out what exactly I said that you disagree with? And I didn't know we were talking about abuse of women in Europe, this is altogether a different topic. We were talking about cheating husbands in Doha and then how to please (or not) the husband so that he doesn't stray. What does any of this have to do with the community and whether it is like me or not? I can't recall speaking on behalf of any community. And neither was I calling people names... like you just did. Whether I am an ignorant person or not doesn't imply that I can't post here, right? And who are you anyways to tell me that I am ignorant? Do you know anything about me? You must be very bright indeed to call people you don't know "ignorant".

Only Love & Respect of Others Makes Human.

------------------------------------------

U want to make ur point, make it with clear solid reasoning. First you generalize it to Filipinas, then you further generalize to Asian and on top of that you insult western culture by again generalizing it to the who community to be like you. It’s a shame and you are an ignorant person. Do you know how many women suffer from abuse in not only eastern Europe, but in the western Europe. Go to UN and HR websites and check out the statistics.

Apple I just read your tear-inducing story of how you would serve your husband and admit being his slave - well, sorry, but it doesn't work for all. I guess that's why a lot of men like having Filipinas as their mistresses - total submission, at least all the girls I've seen. No matter how old, fat or ugly the man is - as long as there is money in his pocket there will always be an Asian girl willing to be his slave. And yes it does sound a little racist, but who can tell me that I am wrong?

And as a European woman I would never, ever be happy with being my husband's slave. We will be equal partners. And if I don't get what I want and what I am entitled to from him - I will walk out.

Han19 - no, I never ever said a word to any of the wives whose husbands are cavorting with Asian girls in Qatar. It's not my place to do that.

take it sweety, [email protected]

apple u dont accept emails...i dont know whom else to ask.

are there naturopaths here in qatar...anybody dealing with alternative medicine bcos u do have herbal supplements available here what about doctors.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

eeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkssssssssssssss

why did u feel so,my happy day has turned upside down:-(

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

OMGosh, Han I think I am pretty much older than u, I was about to graduate w/ my 4 yrs nursing. Sorry my dear, lol! I thought you are a lady in ur 40's. My apology.

u r strong esl.....my tummy wud be grumbling with the pressure of such delicate information stored away.....i wud have to do something....thankfully no such real scenarios..........so i can be happy alhamdullilah

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Esl, I also understand how upset u are to that cheating husband. And do I also hate to that filipina mistress, she can spoils the reputations of other good filipina. How I wish I could meet her and give her one slap on her face to realize what she is doing. Grrrrr.

yup apple........first one from india....i was in my first year engineering and it was ragging time so was too nervous to watch tv around the seniors.........but i just remember she gave a lovely answer.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

LOL, the situation was a little more complicated and I was not closely aquanted with people. But, I did have a discussion with a mistress once saying that it was really hurtful to all involved including herself.

If I was closely aquainted with the people I think I wouldn't be able to help it and would certainly be hinting away ;)

Han19, the pegeant was held in Philippines, remember? I was on my college days. The first Ms. Universe from India (is she? not sure of)

Sorry guys, this post is like a commercial on TV, we need a break!

wow applE you remember what sushmita sen had told in her speech...i knew she spoke well about the woman but dont remember the words.

we dont know the dynamics of each marriage...why, one does what, so its not on our part to judge anything.....like butterfly says adultery takes place everywhere.....for ex if the indian male folk are earning their livelihood out here and maybe having an affair with whomever...there is all probability that their wives are doing the same back home...and this is a very common issue.cant blame anyone for it......but its difficult when u flaunt your false partners and pass them off to be the legal spouses and i guess it even more difficult to keep a straight face when u do know the real spouses.

JUST CURIOUS

esl teacher and alexia:

have u ever felt tempted to give a sign or hint about whats going on?

dont u feel u need to say something bcos the other person is living a lie?

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

Agreed Richard, but I already explained to Marco that I was not attacking them..twice.

Butterfly--when you know the wife it is somewhat difficult to just turn a blind eye that's all.

I agree, the most all couples can do is work on their own particular relationship in order to avoid this happening one day down the road.

The Philippinos I have met here have without exception been extremely nice, well educated and classy. I think the girls get a lot of unasked for attention for two reasons;

1. They are so incredibly pretty

2. They generally (but not always) have low status jobs and this makes guys think that they would be open to suggestion.

Ever since our societies came up with the idea of marriage and monogamy, adultery exists, it's nothing new. Adultery happens all over the world. Maybe here is easy to see because Doha is just like a small village, everybody knows everybody.

I don't see the point in this discussion, lets all work in our own marriages, make sure the love respect trust and blah blah blah is always there and forget about what the neighbours do.

a man should be faithfull no matter what... even if the wife went to her home country for a vacation that is not a reason to cheat and it doesnt matter with what nationality Cheating is cheating and humiliating, i mean how can u look at ur womans eyes when she comes back?? and besides marriage is not only love ITS CARING SHARING RESPECT LOVE, AND TRUST. ( i dont know if i forgot to mention something .. but for now these are the things on my mind ).

being an asian woman myself ... i can put it better than u Ahmad :-)

A married man should be faithful always in his actions, words and thoughts to his wife. Its a challenge that builds character, if you really love your woman. Of course is all theory to be practiced.

I got to ask this question? I know is a can of worms.

What happens when your husband has many legal wife's? Specially in the Middle east.

Is that a religious justification for that kind behavior or luxury.. In the western world we consider that a crime, unlawful and polygamist.

"Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"

Gal. 4:16

Yeah bbksiu, next time we will ask the people who do it - I am sure nobody is more knowledgeable about their actions than they are!

We should be careful when saying that someone commits intercourse of adultry, fornication, or sodomy. As I know, it is sinful to say that someone commits adultry, fornication, or sodomy without proof. Doing that is called "Qathf" as I know. Always ask people who have more knowledge. www.islamonline.net www.islamweb.net

And for goodness sake, guys - if you really can't handle being away from your wives and you just HAVE to stray - please, please keep it private! There is very little to be proud of, showing off your latest squeeze to the entire compound/company you work for.

Exactly Alexia, I mean even neighbourhood picnics they bring their mistresses (of all different nationalities) and then when the wife returns they continue on completely indifferent. And it is so difficult to look her in the eye. I truly feel bad for these women as it just so humiliating (although the actual wife is completely unaware). I wish these men (who are also from various nationalities) would just gain a little guts (and brains) and let their wives go rather than stringing them along on this ridiculous ride.

I hope I was a little more politically correct.

Also, Ahmad I think it's unfair to suggest that Philipina was used as an example because of some sort of social heirachy. Like I said previously I was referring to a specific case.

ESL Teacher - I think it's easier to do it here as we live so far away from our countries, relatives, friends. What happens in Doha - stays in Doha, I guess. It's really horrible. I've seen many cases like that. In my company I have met a lot of men and their wives. I have met these men's girlfriends too. I don't go to company events anymore out of fear that I will have to face one of the wives and act as though I have no clue what is going on. I cannot look them in the eye. I am so happy I am single!

point well made ahmad44.wonder what it wud be like to have a conversation with you.

anyway i dont need to give my pointers now.

i am alhamdullilah in a very happy mood today to get into any serious discussion so i shall check if i can help someone.

marco i am sure esl teacher didnt mean anything in any disrespectful way. i have been interacting with her on this forum for some time now and she is not the type of person to make judgements of racial sort.

take care.

happy heart

drive safe cos someone is waiting for u at home

The discrimination issue in Qatar follows different guidelines than anywhere else because there is an obvious nationality/career-type pre-assignment. Since thats not even gramatically correct let me go ahead and elaborate. Sure there are people of all nationalities working different jobs, but when it comes to majority grouping you do see a trend of nationality/status and with time that has made it common and almost normal (although its not nice) to use it in conversation without actually meaning to be racist or discriminating.

Like for example the sexual harassment thread here on qatarliving one woman complains of Nepali's staring at her lustfully, what are the chances she means the Nepali Bank manager? or the Nepali Minister of foreign affairs? She obviously means a poorly paid Nepali labourer! And yes she is further offended by the situation because the person is officially in this country classified as lower-status!

Now back to the Philipina mentioning in this thread, yes there are many young single good looking philipina women working in qatar, yes most of them do work in low-paid jobs but they are still in a job status above labourers because the majority of philipina women speak good english, have more education and definetly have better hygeine than other asian countries without having to mention specific countries. Thats why they are given jobs where they can interact more with people in sales or customer service or so on.

Now back to adultery and cheating and even just dating a philipina even if your not cheating on anyone. Women over the years in Qatar have always felt threatened when they see a guy with a philipina woman because they think of it in terms of the guy is taking advantage of the philipina just because they are not very rich and vulnerable and come from a passionate culture .

So as a result of the threat+jealousy+status-discrimination it has become extra-enraging for a woman in qatar to learn of a man or especially her-man being with a philipina woman.

My personal opinion? I dont think any type of girl is "easier" to hook up with than another, if a woman wants to be with you its gonna happen and if not then your getting turned down wether she's American, Brazilian, Arabian or a transexual!

Also i must add that having guy friends from almost everywhere in the world there is one thing in common on every mans mind and that is that we look at far-east asian women as extra-exotic,thats just the male mind program, especially in countries where there isnt that status-discrimination...ladies your man is dreaming of Lucy Lui!!

NO, I am not discriminating. Sorry marcoantholin I don't mean to offend the Philipina was just brought up because it was the specific situation I was thinking of. Certainly not all Philipinas would do this, goodness I know of a some who have had married men make advances on them and they do repel them. So absolutely they are deserving respect like everyone else.

am very upset and sad there are people who do such thing. but why labeling philipina? in your comment miss esl, it could happen in general,to anyone, and not only philipina .. i must say i got offended with your comment as if, all philipina do that in general,...:(

just out of curiosity how do you know that this guy is dating somebody else? Maybe that guy is just letting that girl share his place while his family is away!!!

Another possible thing that this guy had broke up with his wife over the summer and then they decided to get back togther.

I also think the reason why the rates of people who are having affairs here is higher than the west, because I think most westerners or expats in genereal here feels invisible because they do not know that many people here, unlike when they at their own hometowns where many people will recogise them. Because of this, they feel more confident and act more liberal:)

"No respect for the partner" but more of "No self-respect"

If we have adultry, fornication, or sodomy common in Qatar, the Creator will punish us I think.