10 Worst excuses for Cheating
Thought this was cute. Got it off www.msn.com
The 10 Worst Excuses for Cheating on Your Wife
Think twice before an extramarital dalliance. It's almost always inexcusable, but especially when you start justifying your caddish ways with one of these ridiculous explanations.
By Jason Daley
10) "Because ... I could."
This is how President Bill Clinton explained away his "sexual relations with that woman" to Dan Rather on 60 Minutes. Which might explain why he's so supportive of Hillary's new job. The secretary of state travels a lot, right?
9) "Because ... you're too smart."
When Billy Bob Thornton left Angelina Jolie, his fifth wife, after an alleged affair with a waitress, he claimed it was out of sheer terror. "I was afraid of her. She was too beautiful for me, she was too smart for me," he told Dateline. "I felt so small next to her. I'm a scared person." Someday, this quote will appear in the Guys-Who-Blew-It Hall of Fame.
8) "I was brain-washed by Kabbalah."
Technically, this wasn't Alex Rodriguez's excuse for sneaking around with the Material Mom. It's just the only way the Yankee's wife could explain it. "I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him," she told a friend. "I don't recognize the man he's become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he's very cold and calculating."
7) "I'm special."
Senator John Edwards issued a press release regarding his affair with former campaign worker Rielle Hunter. It read: "In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly narcissistic." Really? You mean those $400 haircuts weren't just your special way of stimulating the economy?
6) "All women look like Rubik's Cubes to me."
Pablo Picasso went through women like he went through paintbrushes, and his longtime companion, Dora Maar, was almost driven mad by his infidelity. One night, while cheating on Dora with his lover Françoise, he defended his many affairs with other women by saying, "There's nothing so similar to one poodle dog as another poodle dog, and that goes for women too." He then went on to cheer up Françoise by telling her how fat she looked.
5) "Just doing my job, ma'am."
Legendary Jersey boy Jon Bon Jovi claimed in 2006 that "infidelity is part of the job" for a rocker, though it hasn't scuttled his 19-year marriage to karate instructor Dorothea Hurley. "I've had my lapses with other women, sure," he told a reporter. "Welcome to the music business." What he was trying to say was "I'm a jerk."
4) "Umm ... charity?"
When Eddie Murphy was busted with a transvestite prostitute in his SUV in 1997 in Hollywood, he claimed he had picked her up because she needed a ride. "It's not the first hooker I've helped out," he told tabloids. "I've seen hookers on corners and I'll pull over, and they'll go, 'Oh, you're Eddie Murphy, oh my God,' and I'll empty my wallet out to help." And by "wallet" he means ...
3) "I forgot the 12th step."
It's not that he was addicted to booze or Bolivian marching powder. No. David Duchovny was addicted to love — the intercourse-with-someone-who-is-not-your-wife variety. After a successful 35-day stint in sex rehab, Duchovny reportedly told those close to him that he was ready to tackle some of his other personal demons that no other human could possibly understand ... like his weaknesses for air and water.
2) "I needed the high five."
Though he tried to comfort —himself by spending $3,000 a month on Internet porn, Peter Cook, the underappreciated husband of Christie Brinkley, eventually broke down for a real live human: his 18-year-old assistant. What could have kept his libido in check? In a 20/20 interview with Barbara Walters, he said, "A little acknowledgment, a little attention, a little thank-you every now and then for my efforts." What about a puppy? Would a little puppy have helped too?
And the winner is ...
1) "Tonight, honey! I've got a headache!"
When Caroline Kennedy opined that Barack Obama would be the kind of president her father was, she didn't say whether that would include a long list of executive affairs. JFK once excused his transgressions to former British prime minister Harold Macmillan by saying that if he didn't enjoy the company of a lady every three days, he got headaches. Just like a politician to put a new spin on the oldest excuse in the book.
Even if a married man does let himself go, it wont matter. some girls DO prefer married men and some of us just couldnt say NO (as Panda said).
"You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back."
Frankly I think if your Man DOESN"T let himself go, it's a sign he might be cheating :P
Yea to be honest have to agree with Gypsy there... Lol.
Women tend to let themselves go? Have you ever looked at most married men?
1- Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in "life" and sex gets put on the "back burner". She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he's still looking at her "nice ass". God…is that all they think about?
2-It's reassuring to know that he's still "got it". Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
3-The wife just isn't physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…"Honey…I have to work late"!
4-Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn't like to try new things (or old things - namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn't know about. Can you say "manage-a-trios"?
5-He just couldn't say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase "thinking with their little head" came from!
6-The wife just isn't fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to "get away from it all".
7-He just doesn't love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
8-The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest "ice queen". It's not about love, it's about control and winning!
9-They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her "in place" and "at home" no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety - remember?
10- And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.
:p
Can you give us the "10 Best excuses for Cheating" next;)
and a headache doesn't cause lying ;) it's called an open relationship people!
Brit, this is also not a solid reason, there is always a release valve to decrease pessure ;)
In defence of JFK and for future reference of all ladies out there..
Its a little know medical fact that If men don't "enjoy the company of a lady every two / three days", they get headaches. This is caused by "retention of certain fluids" in the body which then cause stress on the medula oblangata.
You know, it's not even really the cheating- it's the lying about the cheating that can be a deal breaker
for cheating are pathetic. There is no excuse or reason.
My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.
I was drunk yo, chill.
Standing sticks have no morals.........
It is always the lost that need my guidance
Do-Not-Get-Caught... =)
"You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back."
Cheaters do not need an excuse to cheat.
Though once caught, one will give a lame one
wow, honestly I wouldn't have thought guys would be capable of coming up with an excuse at all beyond 'me haz penis. i can touch boobies?'
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
I'll keep checking msn Mr. P. That was the article of the day today though.
Any quotes there........
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.