Arranged Marriages in India
People of India basically follow the arranged marriage system, and they consider it as something great.
Dating is a taboo in that country.
However, it has its own merits and demerits.
So, there is no chance of marrying outside their own religion, caste, social status or economic class.
Nevertheless, the arranged marriage system has its flaws.
Children at an early age, even before their puberty, were given in marriage.
Child marriages are now abolished by law, and the children are free to choose their own partners, according to law.
A modern curse connected with arranged marriage is dowry.
It is a social evil in India though it is prohibited by law.
When they arrange a marriage, the consent of boy and girl who are to enter into marriage is not important; the negotiation is on the amount of dowry which is to be given by the girl's family.
It has become something like a trade in modern Indian culture.
The girls from poor families, and the girls who are orphans are not good commodities in this trade; so they remain unmarried. If the promised dowry is not given by due date, the girl would be persecuted and thrown out by her husband's family; or, she would die in a "domestic accident". Do not think that I am exaggerating; it is happening in India everyday.
Arranged marriage system in India is bad in one sense but good in another sense. It is bad when marriage is arranged with such a hatred and prejudice over other religions, castes and races; it is bad when parents over-protect and control their children to the extent of denying every wish, and even every right of their children in choosing their partners.
Marrying a poor orphan girl is considered to be wonderful.
Doesn't look like giving such a person an asylum?
Compassion is a wonderful thing, but marrying somebody out of compassion is not good at all.
In India many people believe that by marriage a woman enters into a bondage, and in Indian situation this is pretty accurate--woman is not free. In arranged marriage, her consent is not sought; her desires have no importance; and, even if she loves somebody to be her husband, family not only doesn't give any consideration to that but also threatens her in many ways. After marriage, in many cases, she is like a slave. She must be submissive to the abuses of the husband and his family.
Whether it be arranged marriages or courtship marriage, people seek perfect husbands and perfect wives. A perfect husband or a perfect wife is a myth. No such person lives or ever lived in this world. We should not expect anyone to be 100 percent perfect. We are all called to be perfect, but we are only on the way to it. We have to accept each other with each one's weaknesses and failings. As there is no perfect wife or perfect husband, there is no perfect marriage either. Success of marriage is in mutual understanding and acceptance, and also in mutual love and respect.
yeah total crap ... i am italian and nobody arranges marriages there .... maybe immigrants do, but not italians
hmm!?
i strongly disagree with valleyofdevils..
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L♥VE LIFE!
A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage. there is many advantage for arranged marriage
This article makes it appear as if all Indian Men have a chauvinistic approach - "they make an Indian girl work like a slave submitting to the abuse of the husband "... and so on. From what I know about Indian husbands, there are MORE OF simple hearted tender souls caring for their wives kind than the abusive kind. And trust me Indian girls no matter how submissive and naive they appear, are well capable of turning the most brutal hardcore men into marshmallows.(Pun unintended)
You guys are beginning to make the classic mistake..
There is a specific difference between Arranged marriages and Forced Marriages.
Both still occur in India. It is the curse of Forced Marriage that we should be fighting..
Love marriage means...............No Love after marriage
Arrange Marriage means ..............Only love after marriage
I would like to point out that these days the condition has changed a lot much than earlier days.....
Mine is an arranged one... but i was surely given chance to accept it or not.
Arranged marriage has its own advantages..... which u can never disagree with... but what happens if u urself never find a right person in ur life time.
Religion and caste are factors to narrow down ur choice of partner... otherwise how would a parent choose one from the population we have..... these r just basis on which we can select....
otherwise there r so many love marriages happenning in India.... many love marriages r also arranged now a days ..
But its true that even today abt 40% of the marriages r forced.... some learn to live with and some couldnt
they suffer................... but it will surely change in the future............ hopefully..........
And its in our hands... if v give freedom to the next generation........................
drac..i thought it was somebody else speaking..I mean, don't you vamps also suffer from this thing?
YOU CANNOT LOVE A MORTAL!
=)
as for us Filipinos, our forefathers did practice fixed marriages and dowry. But that was long ago..when Philippines was still under the Spanish regime.
It's different now. India will also go through some sort of evolution as the years pass by. (maybe decades)
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L♥VE LIFE!
...is extreme,biased and full of Sh*t. Whoever is the author is trying to show the colors of another country when he himself is blind
Life is Beautiful...Indeed!
God is there!
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sad! damn him!
As britex said: "Dont lose hope!"
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Sorry to hear of this. Don't lose hope.
I do believe that "arranged marriages" can a d do work..
i am sorry to say but you can't genralize that. what you have stated above is not 100% right. there are people who got married arranged and are so happy. it's the kind of love bonding you get it after marriage and it's there in indian tradition. i wanna ask you. u have emphasised so much on indian arranged marraiges how about love marriages in west...... DOES THAT WORK???????? all the time????? there is no botheration in there culture.
Snowstorm
The article has totally defined something other than an arranged marriage. And was clearly written by someone with either ill intentions or ignorance concerning the facts surrounding arranged marriage.
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
but be it arranged or love marriages,,,,each has the good and bads in it.
The article says "In many cases" women are illtreated
but this is changing a lot nowadays....soon will be "In rare cases"
cheers
http://www.qatarliving.com/group/ql-kairali
YOU DONT KNOW ME, DONT EVEN TRY !!!
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Regarding your post... :)
The gypsies language is of Indo origin and has many spoken dialects, but the root language is ancient PUNJABI, or HINDI.
"The gipsy kind are... INDIAN kind!"
Look at the map with gipsyes migration:
http://www.geocities.com/~patrin/rommap2.jpg
"The gypsie people have been known by many names, including Tsigani, Tzigane, Cigano, Zigeuner, and others. Most Roma have always referred to themselves by their tribal names, or as Rom or Dom, meaning "Man" or "People." (Rom, Roma, Romani, and Romaniya should not be confused with the country of Romania, or the city of Rome. These names have separate, distinct etymological origins and are not related.) The use of Rom, Roma, Romani, or the double "r" spelling, is preferred in all official communications and legal documents. In response to the recommendations put forth by Roma associations, the Council of Europe has approved the use of "Rroma (Gypsies)" in its official documents (CLRAE Recommendation 11 - June 1995). The trend is to eliminate the use of derogatory, pejorative and offensive names, such as Gypsies, and to be given proper respect by the use of the self-appelation of Roma, or Rroma."
Absolutely Brit Expat..
This article is describing Forced Marriages.
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
What a stereo typical way of misdirecting the facts about arranged marriage. From this article one would believe that arranged marriages force the girls to stay in a caste, class, and cousin marriages. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the majority of arranged marriages in India today are much more liberating then they once were in the past. These days families look for a husband through family friends outside their caste and women have more freedom of choice. True the dowry is still existant and remnants of old customs still abound. However, it is quite clear that the same mentalities no longer exist and empowerment to women has been India's greatest achievement in the past 20 years.
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
No wonder Dracula posted this ....
He is from Romania Guys ... The gypsy kind never fixed to one thing doesnt belive in marraiges.
Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, But only God Keeps u Going.....
Keep Going.....
You missed the point. If the parents tell them who to marry, then its a "Forced Marriage", not arranged.
britexpat, but still it is not Arranged marriages, they marry among themselves, and that's it.
Their Parents don't tell them which one to marry.
Where in Italy do you have experience from ?
Sorry, got to disagree with you. I worked in Italy and knew a ot of people whose marriages were "arranged" by the famiies.
In Europe as in The USA, the daughters of elite families ave a "coming out" ball, where they are "announced to society" tht they are of a marrying age.
Pease remember that families work in the background to try and bing coples together. They aregiven choices and ntforced into the union.
Done.
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No one lady is ugly, the drink it's not enough!"
Please go and marry all those girls in the lower commodity. Will you date a girl on the road side who is sweeping the roads?? You probably might date a girl who is the same college of you or is a friend of you who might be introduced to you by some of your friends. So it is no way that a poor girl can come to college so there is no chance for you to go and date her.
So please come to India I will introduce to around 100 poor girls who don't even know a word of English and whom don't even have food to eat once in a day. Please date with and get married to them I will help you lot in the process. Thanks for showing your concern over India.
Britexpat, is that so ?
I got a lot of Italian friends, and first time I hear about arranged marrieges there. For Albania and Bulgaria I can't tell. and Your statement of upper classes in Europe, that is really not true. People from Higher levels of the Society find each other, but to say that marriages are Arranged-no way. Even the European Royalties decides who they want to marry, Their marriages are not arranged anymore
arranged or not arranged, marriage is the best thing either way... dating, bf/gf does not do anything other then corrupt the society.
"He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah" prophet Muhammed (pbuh)
I'm frm india and I do agree with dracula that a marriage should happen only when there is a mutual consent from both parties. But unfortunately some arranged marriages in india take place with a complete disregard to the girl's wishes. Most of them happen for want of dowry or other vested interests.
But arranged marriages are not always bad. A lot of ppl in india are shy and are not very comfortable with dating. So arranged marriages come to the rescue here. A suitable groom or bride is first introduced via a matchmaker, who is usually related to or a friend of either of the families and the girl and the boy then meet to decide on their future. But to say that dating is taboo in india would be wrong. What is considered wrong are extra marital affairs or sex before marriage. Courtship does happen in india and is very prevalent. A lot of marriages taking place in india are love marriages. The younger generation in india doesn't believe in arranged marriages. They are more open now and have no inhibitions towards dating.
Everyone.. there was a similar post by dracula some time ago. I guess he just wants to stir things up.. Maybe not many responded to his previous post. Hes just twisting the reality to make things controversial. Thats all
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
Arranged marriages simply mean that the families bring two people together. This happens in Italy, Albania, Bulgaria and in Europe with the upper classes.
Of course they do, are not just the Indians always putting up posts in just how great they are and many countries they are resident, do you think they are going by love marriages - not at all.
dragonfly arranged marriages does not happen everywhere- where do you have that from ?
I worked in London for a time and I met a beautiful Indian girl who worked with me, she was so unhappy, her parents had arranged a marriage for her but she had already met and fell in love with a boy, he was indian but not of her parents choosing, they kept their love a secret, I left to go back home but often wonder what the outcome was :/ x
Arrange married happens everywhere not just India.
I DO WHAT I LIKE, I LIKE WHAT I DO
I am a little confused.. I thought arranged marriage meant that the parents, elders etc suggest a partner. He/She has a choice to say yes/no. This is different from a "Forced" marriage.
By the way, arranged marriages are still practiced in the West amongst the upper classes. So it must have some merits.
and who is next? i mean tomorrow ?
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