who should be blamed

Therein lies the trick... "Swallowing it gently" :O(

Husband: Miss, i had a fight with my wife. I don't love her anymore. Im leaving her.

Mistress: really, well, im here. i can give you short time happiness. im available for you.

Is this sounds right? We are talking of morality.

Bear this in mind lee08, people who cannot understand what you feel and people who justifies the act of a mistress, are mistressess themselves.... They are trying to justify their immoral acts.

Azilana is talking about privacy? Who dared to hold the private part of your husband anyway???

Ladies will not understand the family until they become one. Or maybe all single ladies should ask your mom what would she feels and how would she reacts to the mistress if the thing happens. To all the single ladies, be soft on your words so that when the thing happens to you, you can swallow it gently.

partners in crime ... Some men are using being weak as an excuse, while some girls are acting weird. When she knows that the guy is married, the more she sticks to him!!!

I don’t know who to blame as one of them should not approach the other, while the other should not entertain that. Who approached whom and who entertained whom? Only god knows, don’t ask him again …

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)

Your husband is guilty...BUT he's MAN ENOUGH TO admit it. He laid his cards on the table and told you the TRUTH. His reasons might be PATHETIC as it is but he asked for your forgiveness. NOW..it's up to you to DECIDE. To forgive him and start all over again...or seeth and make hell for both your husband and the OTHER WOMAN.

The OTHER WOMAN/MISTTRESS is GUILTY too...coz if she know before/then that THE MAN in QUESTION (your husband) is MARRIED and still continued to have an affair/relationship with him. No one would know why she still went with it...THE OTHER COMMENTS are right...It TAKES TWO TO TANGO.

You're GUILTY as well...why would you open your husband's e-mails? Yeah, you two are partners for life, you're the other half, THE WIFE...but still, you must have forgotten that your husband is also a PERSON. You, even as a wife doesn't even give you the right to open his e-mails coz that is INVASION of PRIVACY. If we reverse the situation...like your husband going thru your stuff/things, I bet you would raise a fuss too.

Don't get UPSET with MY/OTHERS COMMENTS...you posted your PERSONAL DILEMNA in a PUBLIC WEB FORUM, so you must have the stomach to read/accept what OTHERS would have to say/think...

Anyways...whatever be your decision to resolve THIS ISSUE...GOOD LUCK and MERRY CHRISTMAS...

or ask lorena bobbit for advice :p

i agreed with ariannaterrance, if ur husband see things he wanted in u he will not look for another girl.

DON'T LET FANTASY ROB YOU OF YOUR REAL LIFE BEAUTY

Nothing is more relaxing than flying like an Eagle in Heaven !!

1st! Blame urself for loving such a weak guy who like to do affairs and throw reasons bla bla bla. i know many guys married living far from their wives and both still loyal even when he stay away for 1 year or 2 years sometimes. dont blame others.. am sorry for u.its a bad feeling i know but dont blame others! blame urself and blame ur weak husband.

Your "husband" as you call him is just in the wrong as this girl is ... actually hes MORE in teh wrong because he could have said NO IM MARRIED when she made a move on him .. he didnt do shit , he just sat there and let her do what she wanted with him , and obviously he liked it or else he wouldnt have kept going back to her for more . So obvoiusly YOU (Lee08) are doing soemthing wrong in this relationship and not satisfying him completely . you should rethink your strategy and look at yourself and what YOU didnt do to make him wander like that

lee, some of those comments were good too... Reread it, dont let your heart be consumed with hatred

...listen to the sound of silence....

or ill kick her dirty ass. im not pathetic. mistresses are pathetic. hiding behind the buttocks of a married man. maybe the ones who are saying that im pathetic are also mistresses.....

it is good that i have something to do. i think steaklover is right. you gave me so much pain mistress so i will give you scandal. wait and see. i know your here. and i know your aware of this site. i will tell to everybody you know what kind of girl you are. your pathetic. maybe you cant find a free man because of your character. yes, it all boils down to character. if you dont have one, then all the family left in another country should be wary.

the question should be what to do next not who is to blame? blaming won't help you right now. what's done is done, either you kick his balls before kicking him out or kick his balls and stay with him till death do you part.

I agree with Marie .. And dont go posting your personal problems on QL its pathetic and shows that you want sympthy from a bunch of people you DONT know and kind of shows that you want attention

even the most guarded personas can still slip out of their bodyguards...

dont blame anybody, just decide if you're willing to save the marriage or "dump" him for life! :)

...listen to the sound of silence....

How in hell was she innocent?

One always has a feeling in their gut about something that is going down somewhere ...

and she shouldnt have left him alone . what the heck was she doing out everyday at the same time anyways? shouldn she be staying home and HE be going to work?

What Filipino man is not boning another Filipino girl here telling her that he is single and holds a degree in engineering.. this makes my day again when I hear another one got busted.. hehehe

ules are a guideline for intelligent people, but they must be adhered to by idiots.

innocent people should not be blamed...but ignorance doesnt always mean inability to know...

u are right. i am a filipino yet i accept the fact that here in d middleast lots of marriage pinoy from home country are single here in abroad. how can they take having another affair? do they have a feelings?

DON'T LET FANTASY ROB YOU OF YOUR REAL LIFE BEAUTY

Ladies.... The answer is clear. If you don't want your man to go around dipping his wick, then please don't let him out of your sight.

I blame you. Becuase you let him out of your sight

I blame you. Becuase you let him out of your sight

Kick him out. He is a Dog and Always will be.

"I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner" what they do is none of your business

is that pipol will look for another men/women because they are not satisfy with there partner. d problem is there's no open communication, he dont talk u dont talk. leave d girl, its u who should prove to ur husband ur better than her. i am not talking about sex only. give hm a reason y he doesnt need to look for another girl.

DON'T LET FANTASY ROB YOU OF YOUR REAL LIFE BEAUTY

if the girl has respect for herself and her family, she would not dare to have s_x with married man. by nature, men are weak and they would always want to feel loved. should the wife be blamed for being away because of family need? but you know what lee08, life is just a circle. someday, that girl will experience the same thing and she will tell to herself that "ouch, it hurts". everything will fall into places. that girl will pay. if you love your husband, give him a chance don't let him be on the hands of a girl who will lead him to hell.... to all, please understand my words. my family is a victim of a mistress. but now im okay, though im still sensitive with this issue. goodluck to you lee08.

blaming other woman will make him Angel or what

this is very interesting. few years back, i was in that situation. my husband confided that living apart is very difficult and he told me that MANY girls are willing to be in illicit affair. and i researched and found that there are girls who can afford the stigma of being a mistress. yes, men are men. girls are not suppose to entertain married men in the first place. that's the rule of the thumb. if you know he's married then by all means close your door. you know lee08, the mistress once told me that she was very satisfied in bed with my husband. shocking to the ear but it's true. because of that i gave him the worst scandal in her life. now, all her officemates and friends know about her activities. and after that, she was saying sorry. you see the way girls dare to ruin a family for a short time-delicious activity, and yet very afraid that their bad smell leaks.

it is you, because you open your husband's email... THAT'S PERSONAL!

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yes UkEng, im pretty sure it does.. but the threesome, i'd have to research that first... :P

Blame Global Warming.. Made both of them too hot to control themselves..

why do u blame the man or his wife or the mistress... blame the weather so pleasant, blame the cupid thats naughty, blame the lonely soul all alone, blame the eyes...

we can blame anyone and anything, can we step back and think, why does such thing happen...

everyone wants to be loved, everyone gets love, sometime what you miss is love with a feeling, or a just feelings and no love.

MJ you sure..it takes two to tango, but what if you have a threesome, what do you call that

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"HE WHO DARES WINS"

Derek Edward Trotter

Olive, agree with you..

Men are men is not an excuse. If it was every man would cheat.

it takes two to tango..

you should blame your husband dear,

you are away from him, but you are waiting for him so why he can not do the same???

Tiger Woods got caught out when his Swedish wife read his Text messages on his cell phone..

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"HE WHO DARES WINS"

Derek Edward Trotter

men are men. should there be available and willing girl to bed with a married man then there is crime. i just can't imagine why a girl would do such a thing. maybe she's itching more and more....

lee08 is asking who's to blame? Funny, instead of giving our opinions, I see more male posters giving hints & pointers on what to do not to get caught

!LOL! hmmm...well keep it coming guys. who knows? hehehe!

It's your husband who has to be blamed..not the lady

If he truly loves you this would not have happened!!

There is some problem in him...may be in your relation with him..

Blame it on all three of them, because they didn't talk to each other!

why one-sided... blame both of them.. or blame it on the weatherman..

again, if you leave your husband's private things you will not look for somebody to be blamed.

progress

This is the reincarnation of colt45... :-P... kamineey, kaisa hai tu?

Both of them... but i put the blame more on your husband for being weak! what a lame excuse...

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

man even complicated passwords might be solved .. use a totally different e-mail .. that doesn't have anything related to ur identity .. hahaha

it didn't reach to ur mouth .. i'm a mind reader .. it was still in ur mind .. i didn't get near to ur mouth .. lol

lessons learned.... Put complicated passward on your email accounts! hehehe

really, very well ram, accept my resignation....

husbands are weak!!!

...listen to the sound of silence....

That's called resignation.

ram, again, you steal the words from my mouth... lol

...listen to the sound of silence....

is that really you or your ghost

are you alive?

i thought you passed away long time ago after that meeting on the port.

($%&$^%^^(*^($&%^^&#%$&*%(%&* thats a warm welcome from me as usual :P

don't bite the bait!

sometimes even dogs are better than human being .. there is an old saying "The more i meet people, the more i love my dog"

hope the pig stops jumping and run....fast. afterall, it's not easy to be eaten by dogs :)

...listen to the sound of silence....

Colt45 :))

i don't think it's a punishment for the pig .. last time i saw someone eating pork . the pig was jumping jumping feeling so happy to be eaten .. lol ..

i guess it's their will .. hahahaha

Sorry to say, but your husband's got a "Cheater Cock"... :-P

God has already punished the pig by making him your meal and so then he would punish you... lol!!!

ram said it all lol....

...listen to the sound of silence....

It's your husband's fault. Men (and women) are good at finding excuses. Don't believe these excuses.

He ditched you, wht are you waiting for. gime your number :D

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- God Gives n Forgivs .. We Gets n Forgets -

I would blame the man for his dumpiness cuz he get caught .. if u didn't caught him no one to be blamed .. lol ..

so i say 100% to blame the idiocy of the man ..

To be serious, u can't blame the girl. If he can't control himself then it was his fault ..

simple example on that, I'm a muslim and god has prevented me from eating pork ... so if i eat pork cuz i can't control my self .. do u think god will punish the pig too for being there for me .. or shall we blame god cuz he created the pigs...

for sure it's the Man's will .. and he will be totally blamed for that ..

(nothing related to religion, or no offense meant for any other religion. That was just an example)

I know quite a few mistresses here happygolucky, and I know what they're boyfriends say to them.

why, why oh why?

----

I'm beginning to like this law: "Alienation of Affection".

http://marriage.about.com/od/legalities/g/alienationdef.htm

Who is to blame? Your husband is! As infuriated as you are with the other woman - she - technically - owes you nothing. Because it is he, who made a commitment to you. And about it being 'hard to be alone and feeling weak' - hey, every lonely expat doesn't pick an affair to fill his/her time. Anyway here's the thing: my advice is, don't try to get in touch with the other woman. That will only lead to making you feel worse. Getting even with her? Don't even go there. It's not worth it. She's not worth it. Right now you deserve support, love and respect. So kill all thoughts of her and rage at him instead! Then when you are done - sit and have a good think about how you can move forward - Take care.

I sure dont know all the married men Olive, neither do you. But whomever I know never had it that difficult.

________________________________________

One life to live, live it to the fullest.

dear, i can relate to your situation...i know what kind of pain you're going through now

Destroying her career might give you temporary elation but still the deed was done...what you must face now is the choice between giving your husband a second chance or ending your marriage. Of course, the obvious choice is to give him another chance, but can you trust him again??

cry now, BUT tomorrow you must face the world with a SMILE. Afterall, he nearly lost you. cheers

...listen to the sound of silence....

TROLL

a myth....

Everything's gonna be alright!!!

Who told you that, shreeya?

I heard that one drop is made up of 100 drops of blood....Gosh, he might be bleeding a lot...:)

Everything's gonna be alright!!!

You don't know too many married men here do you happygolucky. The ratios of men to women here is 20 men for each woman, so my guess is he probably tried pretty damned hard to land her.

blame the alcohol.

We don’t know the lady in question is a girl or a women pretending to be a girl...why blame the man only...its 50-50 as put by gadarene.

Olive....I don’t think one (a married man as per thread) need to look so pathetic by saying all those things to hook a girl...lol

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One life to live, live it to the fullest.

Yea, shreeya, normally they become tough because of the girls!

Check yourself??? What the hell did she do Bestheartman?

"and he became weak especially because of the girls. " I just don't understand this line.....

'weak' in which manner?

Everything's gonna be alright!!!

Blame your husband---- and check yourslef also

It would still be regarded as an affair.. :O)

Brit...grrrrrr why are men in the hands of other women in the first place...lol

"Tiger"?

Sadly, we men are but putty in the hands of women with their bumpy bits...

Blame your husband...

garadene, who knows what he said to her. I just bet it was along the lines of "the marriage is over, we're only staying together cause of the kids or because we can't divorce, I don't love her anymore. I'll leave her as soon as I can, blah blah blah"

He probably thought if I don't f*** this girl, somebody else will. So he did it. Life is too short.

Well, its always husbands to be blamed. They can't keep 'it' under control.

This situation still involves the mistake of the lady going with him knowing he's married.

~noms~

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"Before God we are all equally wise ' and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein

he should have turned gay..

Sorry, you're blaming her because your husband can't keep it in his pants? Where's his self control? Where's his respect for you? Lonely? Piss poor excuse IMHO - he was tempted and he took the chance and he got caught - now he's trying to twist it around as if he is a victim here.

He's a poor excuse for a husband and a human being if he can't take responsibility for his own actions.

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

@ britexpat,if he hid that fact from the woman in question,then yes you're right,he would shoulder more of the blame,if however she knew the status quo & still went ahead with it,then it ought to be 50-50,fair enough?...

Blame it on the Bossa Nova!

Your cheating bugger of a husband is the one to blame. Lord only knows what he said to the girl. How can you trust him?

your husband should know that he got a wife back home!!

Why blame the girl?

Must disagree with you. He is more to blame, since he knew that he was married and had a wife back home..

as much as you may not like to admit it,it does in fact take two hands to clap,your husband & the woman in question share the blame 50-50 for this...

OR..

You could have an affair and get even ..

Well if the girl gets found guilty of illegal relations your husband will go to jail for a year as well.

Either kick him out or tell him to come home.

i just add my last 2 lines in my signature

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"It could be a picture

It could be a medicine

it could be a bullet

depends on how you see it

But it is not a cultural ignorance

and it is not blind following ....

what about you joining your husband? so he wont have another affair

Maybe she was lonely, too?

is there a way i can go to the employer of the girl. i hope she ends in jail.

How about kicking the two timing bugger out ...