Marriage and Career: Tough Balancing Act
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career" -- Gloria Steinem (American feminist icon and women’s rights advocate)
I know its not rocket science...but its easier said than done. I'm not complaining or moaning since I only got hitched 2 weeks ago but its a bit emotionally and mentally exhausting sometimes.
Hubby is away working (in an Asian country) for 5 weeks, I'm also working (here in Qatar). What made it a bit harder is when he's home (Qatar) off work (5 weeks), and I work. I leave the house at 7:30 and comes home by 6:30PM...almost 12 hours (Sunday to Thursday).
That's when trouble comes in.
I used to work long hours (yes, I'm a workaholic) and used to bring home some work in the evenings. NOW, I have to drop everything at the office for the next day...or my Blackberry will be swimming down the toilet and laptop will become a jigsaw puzzle.
Don't get me wrong, darling husband is a gentle, loving and caring person. He just don't want to be exploited. But I love my job, it has been my means of survival since. So, it'll be a tough job juggling...
Ok...rants over. :)
Perhaps she is so happy at getting married that she wants everyone to know. What is wrong with that
Definitely you have very deep roots. You have the stability.
I pray all joys be yours !!
May God & society grant you high honours here & in the afterlife for doing all noble deeds !!
why the Pinoys are keen to share their personal life on forum and blogs in Public? I find it very strange behaviour.
Damn it! No one is interested in your personal life.
At 42, you are mature enough to play the balancing act.
Get a life!!!
It is a bit of an adjustment isn't it. I wouldn't give up my job if I were you, I'd just save the after -work -work for when he's offshore. When he's home, try and do a bit less.
Why is that?
(1) Over worried about (personal) future - in a way, I am. but not mine but my kids and my husband's kids. I'm 42, he's 55...there are those odds that we as husband and wife need to be prepared for.
(2)bent on strengthening financial security - of course, who wouldn't be. Don't tell me its not one of your objectives. Still the kids' education and the what-if's is the "why" of the matter.
(3)I am on an 8-hour job and its been my bread and butter for 2 and a half years. Leave my job, Qatar and be a plain wife? Sounds tempting...just waiting for my husband to come home after 5 long weeks off shore.
If I have this job, I will have my own to support my kids and parents and not being totally dependent on my husband's . At least, he wont say that I'm sending to my family the money he gives me for my allowance, right?
(4)Sacrificing life for a long time - I have to work so my kids and parents can have a better, easy life. I don't see anything wrong with it.
(5) Won't make any effort to change the circumstances any time soon.-- as they say, haste makes waste. Everything will happen in due course. Like my marriage, too many obstacles and yet we persevere.
Who can tell?
Maybe sometime soon, I will be posting from Scotland about my meeting with dweller and his family for a pint of beer ;P
I think it all melts down to what your priorities are. It is true that striking a balance between work and family life is not as hard for a man as it is for a woman; however, sometimes a balance is not just possible. One thing is bound to suffer at the cost of the other.
One of my teachers, in her forties, a renowned medical consultant, decided to do a PhD. Her husband, already distraught with her busy schedule, said no. She would not listen. Result: she asked for divorce. She completed her PhD and got married again to another guy.
I have seen many a competent lady who would just leave their work for their personal life. And oftentimes, they do not regret it.
I believe the best is to listen to your heart. As for as your situation is concerned, I guess you already have five weeks fully to your yourself--- for work. The next five weeks, you can somehow squeeze in your husband in the schedule, if you love him. :)
1. You are over worried about your [ personal ] future.
2. You are bent upon to strengthen your financial security.
3. You are not bold enough to leave this job & find an 8 hrs job.
4. You are sacrificing your life for a long long time.
5. You won't make any effort to change the circumstances any time soon.
Love your job but don't love the company you work for because you may not know when your company will stop loving you
always spare some time for family.... commitment to work is gud..but aftr an extend it ll ruin u...@the end u need ur family more dan ur boss n job
for me career is like the sea which slowly slowly take us away,
Something I read on work-life balance recently, this was written for Indians but I guess its worth a read for you too.
By the way "desis" in the article means Indians & "firangs" means Europeans/Americans.
http://www.livemint.com/2012/07/27201635/Culture-shock.html
ask him to get a job here! easy solution....find a way to compromise. If indeed he is the love of your life u will find away...........but i agree also with the wise words of "love dont pay the rent" are u both western? or r u of different cultures?
No apologies needed...all's cool.
I just dont believe in marriage bcoz the girl got knocked up...I married the MAN I LOVE...and love my kids too....and I'm happy.
I said, I wasn't married to the father of my 2 kids...so I was single and unmarried every since.
I got married recently to my Scottish fiance.
Quitting is not an option. My kids are in high school and university; my husband is still supporting his 2 kids with his 1st wife. Maybe another year or two or three more years :S
That probably would be illegal then. Iam sorry if iam wrong :-)
If he is understanding he should not have any problems with your working hours. If not then the only solution is to quit the job.
Hi. :-). Just confused. I was a single (unmarried) mother of 2. This is my first marriage and my hubby's 2nd...
It's a huge adjustment, I tell you.
I was a single (unmarried) mother of 2. Then how can it be your first marriage.
if you cant finish you work during office hours, you better quit the job
I know what you mean...and like I said, I'm still adjusting
No one should work often after the official work day has ended. I'm sure on your deathbed you will not say I wish I spent more time answering emails.....
its my working after working hours is what piss him off.
I may have to resign, say goodbye and be a full time wife...which up to now, I'm not sure I want to be.
I was a single (unmarried) mother of 2. This is my first marriage and my hubby's 2nd...
It's a huge adjustment, I tell you.
I got 2 and he got 6...I'm already a step-grandmom :D
She married the wrong guy, brit.
From her profile:
"Tell us about yourself
Just got married to the love of her life..."
Pardon my ignorance. I assumed you had been married before and worked all your life. So , what is different now ?
Is it that we are getting older ?
When your hubby is home, let him do the cooking and cleaning...this will keep him busy and you will get home cooked food as well.:)
Wait until you have kids, them come back and tell us how tough it is.