Maid: Am I being mean?

She should have 2 days off and she should be able to do what the hell she likes in those two days without having to answer to you.

I am against live-in maids, I think it is wrong. They are too open to abuse. If you have a maid, she should have her own apartment and work a pre-set number of hours just like you do.

Sometimes I wonder what century we are living in and I even find myself symphathizing with Mir. Why should she be treated any differently from you? Is it just because she is poor.

Shame on you. I hope she leaves you and someone nice takes her on. 

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about

yup

Javi, his name is short for Javier, i dont know what it means.....

Maybe "obedient" wasn't exactly what I meant.  What I meant is what any manager expects of you...to be obedient to the company and loyal to their "vision" and rules.   Maybe loyal, dependable, or reliable are better words.

In Canada (maybe elsewhere), obedient has a bad reputation b/c people equate it with slavery, being pushed around, and having no freedom.  People don't want to be obedient to something or someone. 

The original poster hasn't replied recently so she's found her own solution.  I hope she and her maid work it out. 

Consider this topic closed!

Does your nephew look like frozen leaves in winter too?  heheheh, just kiddin'

So what is his Javi stand for if you dont mind me asking?

yes DS, heaven help us...Its quite sad actually, i feel sorry for these "maids"..

ok well there you go Javi, i learnt something new today.....cool

your nic name Javi is my nephews name in aus, oh how i miss him..

Well I hope they are "grateful".

[the next sentence was deleted by me just before I hit the send button]

. "You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks"

Hillsongs is a phenomenal church band in Australia.  Very good music, yup yup!

Actually DS, i think he teaches English to non english speakers..hmmmmm...

I really hope that English is a second language to you, and you have simply used a word out of context.

"You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks"

your wlecome but what's hillsongs? Am i missing something..lol

Can't go wrong with Australians; that's were Hillsongs is at.

well said javi...

That is not what I meant at all.  I meant 40 hours a week with 2 days off, paid holidays, medical benefits, basic life insurance just like us but with enforcing officials that makes sure that nobody is taking advantage of anyones rights.  By the way, I do understand the frustrations of domestic helpers.  I am filipino by the way.

Unfortunately, some folks are entitled to their own views and ways--However baedabook, pls. bare in mind that these are not domesticated pets or anything, they are people just like you and me that often have families of their own who look up to them.  they just want to exist, to live a decent life. 

Baedebok..grateful? Obedient? For heavens sake, that's another human being you're talking about.

Please don't make me think less of you.

[img_assist|nid=57389|title=|desc=peace|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] _______________________________________________

www.nfcr.org

May I throw in my ten cents worth (you know I can't resist)?

Naokal, 2 things....

1)  Stealth hit the nail on the head.  If you sponsor and bring in your own maid from overseas (Sri Lanka or Indonesia), then you're life will be much easier.  She'll also be more grateful and happy to work for you.  She'll be more obedient and dependable.

2)  Jauntie brought up a good point.  Naokal, are you sorry you asked?  I brought up a similar question (about maids) last year and I got an avalanche of replies saying I was too harsh, demanding, unfair, cheap (like the above).  It's a hot topic.  It deals with many hot issues:  our attitude to the poor or people from the 3rd world, what's a fair wage (or living wage), human dignity/respect, etc.

Personally, I'm on Naokal's side.  I'm gonna PM her the details of my opinion.  If you know me at all, you can guess what I'll say.

i think you are being mean....

you agreed that you will give her the day off,

which is a full day and now you want her to work some extra hours just that you can have some extra hrs to sleep on the weekend thats not fare.....

step in her shoes and you will realise.....

Life is a mystery..... you never know whats next.....

What do you mean Javi...do you think that working eight hours a day is not enough for a housekeeper?

[img_assist|nid=57389|title=|desc=peace|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] _______________________________________________

www.nfcr.org

Hey, It is quite nice for you to inquire--that is certainly great.  Some People just plane o dont give a damn about other folks feelings. But of course if your subordinate is out of line, corrections have to be swift or decisive.  But if the subordinate are generally a nice person--then talk talk and talk some more for a common ground, understanding.

Please bare in mind that everyone deserves to live, and to live a decent life.  Some are unfortunate to be born dirt poor, however, they still need to be treated accordingly as a non-slave.  Laws governing the labor codes of these folks is not always right, just in my opinion.  

Good luck, Im certain you'll make the best out of this.  Teacher--aptitiude 100% with the best warranty.

According to the Labour Law an employee can work a maximum of 8 hours per day with agreed paid overtime if necessary and one full day off per week.

Personally I think two days off per week is more like it.

Many domestic worker are taken advantage of if they are live in and made to work many more than eight hours per day.

Put yourself in your employee's shoes and see how you can improve her working and living conditions.

[img_assist|nid=57389|title=|desc=peace|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] _______________________________________________

www.nfcr.org

Perhaps you could come to an agreement with your maid where she stays until 8.30am and comes back and hour and a half later in the evening.  Or perhaps takes an additional morning or evening off instead for the time worked on Friday.  Ask her what do u have to loose.  good luck

Thanks all for your advice. (bashing).

Will take on board, always good to hear wot pple think.

we are going to have the same issue when we get a maid......sorry no Friday off (time off to go to church tho) but any other day she can have off, just get her to work friday and choose another day off, but having to work on her day off in inaffectly not giving her any day off at all. Also, if she's not under your sponsor she probably doesn't feel any responsibility to you....

well try to ask her politely, she would listen :/

--------------------

No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.

I think you should offer you maid an apology. And make sure that she has adequate space to relax without interuption in the house.  i.e. you should give her set hours and duties and stick with those.

I think sometimes when people live with us we forget that they need a rest too. And i'm guessing that it is the reason she started to leave earlier than before.

I am sure she will appreciate your apology to her.

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

Bet you wished you'd never asked...

Your agreement with your maid would be that she had one day off and under common agreement you both settled on Friday. So that is her day off. Now she got in the habit of leaving late and you got used to that. However now you are so used to her staying late and doing your part of the bargain, i.e. taking care of your son. So now you get angry for her wanting to have the day off as per agreement????? It is her perogatory to leave when she wants, it is after all her day off.

Maybe you should see her side of it. If you are generally not happy with her, find someone you feel happy with. If she is good and you feel happy with her, accept her right. 

Aisha-Taweela

whether she comes from UK or to say maybe you are member of Royal family

I think the maid should get two full days off!

One day off is a full day....

sorry I think you are demanding too much....

Why strange Eco....as Pm said she asked for our opinion and this is what we think. Advice doesnt mean to validate people feelings or actions.

She asks: Maid: Am I being mean?  Well, clearly some people think the answer is yes. It's a yes or no question, if she didn't want to know people's opinions, she would have worded the question in a different way. I agree that too often on this site someone posts something and is bashed for no reason but not in this case.

i know some people workink 7 day because the like overtime and money they forgot the meaning of life.

Mmazher qoute:

As for the people who vote for days off try telling that to us mothers.  The moment our children are born we forget the word time out.  Need for physical rest however does remain a necassity

She is hired help not the mother, and she is supporting her with the children, is a day off to much to ask for? Poor maids, as if low pay isnt enough..

When you decide to have children they are "your " responsibilty" not others...Having hired help is a blessing for some..I think what you are referring to are mothers who dont have any hired help....

she is asking for advice and you people have started bashing her.

Also, do you really come from the UK? Land of Equal Opportunities and Human Rights? I don't believe it personally.  Maybe you are a member of the royal family.

Just because she is a maid, does that not mean that she might like to sleep in once a week? poor lady 

You should be ashamed of yourself.  Do you work 7 days a week?  I doubt it. 

It seems to me that you're more faithful to the handbag shops in Villagio than your children.  If you cared for your child so much you'd want to spend more than a couple of hours per week with him/her (maybe even one of your days off) - but it seems that you embarrassingly find it too hard to look after your offspring.  People like you don't deserve to have children.

 Some expats need to have a good hard look at themselves.

Its her day off, that does not mean you can impose your schedule upon her.

tra la la

Alexa this is when they were bubs, they wouldnt dare do that now..we have a no hitting policy in the house....

And try to make her understand her your position. 

As for the people who vote for days off try telling that to us mothers.  The moment our children are born we forget the word time out.  Need for physical rest however does remain a necassity.

So talk to her and if things do not work out sponser your help.  Its better that way.

Your lucky Alexa, i tried that with my ones but when we attepmted to go back to sleep all i got was slaps in the face to get up..lol..

I wait for that day PM..I used to love my sleep, can sleeep all day...

"sigh" PM, so i guess that means no sleeping for now...lol...

Oh Alexa tips plseeeeee mine are up by 7am on a good day....lol....otherwise its 6.30am...

Also you dont want a disgruntled maid, especially if shes caring for your kids when your not around...If shes tired and exhausted she wont be a very happy person to be around...and rightly so...

very true Alexa, you have to deal with it. Sleep in's go out the window the moment you have kids. I havent had a decent sleep in years..

first and foremost you have agreed for 1 day-off which only means one whole da. secondly is it agreed between both of you that she would be a nanny as well? i guess not, so don;t pass your responsibility of being a mother to your maid. and yes for me you are being mean to her.

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compasionate with the aged, tolerant of the weak. Someday you will have been all of these."

She is your maid who works for money, she is not the mother of your child so she is not supposed to look after your child 24/7.

Dont burden others with your reponsibilities.

I agree with shazbat, a day off mean literally day off with no time restrictions...give her the day off and have a sleep in on saturdays...either way its your call, but i think maids deserve at least one full dya off for their own life..

in the world is entitled for at least one FULL day off every week. No one can work 24/7 nonstop.. it is nonsense and inhuman. If you need her on Friday morning, you have to give her other time off instead. I am pretty sure she doesn’t have 1 free minute during the week either…I mean  she doesn’t have a framed working day, she must be available 24 hours any time.. even if she doesn’t do anything at some particular time, you can call her any time, it means she is alert constantly...am i right? and it is just impossible for human. Everybody needs  time to relax…

sorry.. but we are all humans, and our needs are the same.. it's not her fault that she was born in different circumstances than we were...we have to treat her as a human anyway…

sorry...

  ******* [img_assist|nid=94788|title=*******|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

Sun and I

  So I understand, she works in the morning on her day off. If this is true....yes I would be pissed off to. This is obvious isn't it. You pay her peanuts(more than the locals and I give her a day off. Nice slave owner). Try not to justify, you pay her jack but this is life. You wanted confirmation or you wanted a reality check, who knows but in any case, the nanny is right to be choked and you sadly should reevaluate what you expect from your peasant slaves.

  If you can't suck it up then fire her and get a new one.

" if its not a good time, its a good story"

Best option would be for your sponsor a maid by yourself. that way everything is settled

The best thing to do is to imagine yourself in her position.

A day off would normally mean from when you finish work on a Thursday night until you start work again on the Saturday morning.

How would you feel if your employer asked you to work for a few hours on your day off every week?

------------------------------------------------------------ "Every adult of sound mind, should be able to choose to do whatever they want, as long as they cause no harm to others".

everyone different naokal ... if you think her behaviour unacceptable ... just sack her. But if you think you cant live without her since you work full time, i guess you will have to suck it up and let the maid get her own way.

if you put your foot down and she is not happy then she will just leave ... then you go back to square one and find another maid.

i am sorry i know i am not much help ...

But I believe around lunch time...So i would not get in the way of that, it certainly does not start before 12pm...