LOL Highlander, thats a nice little write up and i'm sure Captain can relate to that, lines like: "O Captain! my Captain! rise up ur impotent and hear the balls;
Rise up--for you the fag is flung--for you the bugle thrills! hahahahha

I have a little poem for Captain as well and it goes something like this:

Dear Captain,

Step up to the table, show me you are able, grab my stick, I'll make it quick and slaughter you like Cain did Abel.
Alas! Alas I'll whoop your arse, it will so fasssst, you wont even know its Khallas!
Give it your best shot, do however try to pot, win something please, i'm down begging on my knees, i cant bear to see you lost like this...ok poems over...let me go take a p*ss! :P