In Islam its only the men who go to the graveyards. Its Allah's mercy on us women that we are spared the trauma of seeing a loved one being buried. That said its also not of Islam to wail loudly, hurt yourself, and tear your hair out etc. rather we are told to control our grief and pray for the one who passed away so that our sorrow will actually benefit our dead loved ones. That said you can cry and mourn just not to the extreme where you self destruct. I've just explained this very briefly, by the way..there are actually chapters on this topic =D