thanks everyone for your replies. i've never been to the middle east and even if some of you might think it's weird i'm a muslim (not converted) and am apprehensive about living in the middle east as i'm used to the freedom here. hubby thinks i'm far too outspoken, made a minor comment (i thought so anyway) about the qatari royal family and he said it's a NO NO over there and that i shouldn't criticise them in any shape or form. hubby has been out there for over a year now and yes expat sueno i have also been digging my heels in. at first i said it's too much of an upheaval and that he should check it out first thinking he would come back within months if not weeks. then i threw the dummy out the pram and that didn't work either. my last card was that i wasn't going anywhere until my daughter got a place in a good school as she's just been going to one of the top 2 in our borough. now she's going to compass and i'm now resigned to the fact we will move this summer. i think i've just painted myself as a petulant 3 year old but i think i'm just scared of the unknown.