I have one close male friend....we go for the coffee,for the dinner, sometimes we go out for the drink together.. but we are really just friends.. He always share with me news about his endless searching for the “right” girl.. he changes these girls every season, and every time we keep discussing what was the problem last time.. i share with him my issues, and again we discuss things.. He is like my 'girlfriend'. I would never consider him as a lover. I mean, of course there is some element of attraction.. but hey, that's how we choose our friends of any gender: element of attraction to the person is always there.. in order to share private things you have to trust person and to like him/her.. but these feelings are way too far from the sexual attraction..
Also this "friendship" cannot interfere with my family. When I have a choice to spend time either with my hub or with this friend, I always chose my hub. So here is the point: if your husband spends too much time with this girl, and if you are neglected at the same time, this is different story..
My hub has some female friend.. she is our common friend actually.. I know her very well.. We spend some time all together (with some other our friends), but I also know that my hub and her sometimes used to go for the lunch, or he used to help her with something.. She recently moved to another gulf country, and my hub and I along with our other friends recently went to visit her there.. So what I want to say is I had never have even one doubt that this is a pure friendship. It’s not about having facts, it is about your sense of the issue.. You as a wife definitely have sense of what exactly is going on… if there is something fishy or not.. If you do feel that there is something, trust me, THER IS!
Why wouldn’t you invite this girl to your house, why wouldn’t you try to become her friend? If it is only friendship, she would respond properly, demonstrating you that there is nothing between her and you hub.. Tell you hub next time when he is going to go to the mall, that you were planning to go exactly to the same mall, and why wouldn't you go all together? Organize outing for you, your hub, this girl, and bring some other friend or better some couple (guy-girl). Try to become part of this group..
But again, just to 'confront' your hub will lead you nowhere.. He perfectly understand that it disturbs and upsets you, and all these fights, tears and ultimatums will only piss him off..
And for those who advise her to get a "Boyfriend" to be equal.. well,, this is not the best way of acting when you want to SAVE your family.. if you want to complete destroying it, then sure, go ahead, get a "BF" and be "equal".. would this equality bring you a happiness?
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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us." Oliver Wendell Holmes
I have one close male friend....we go for the coffee,for the dinner, sometimes we go out for the drink together.. but we are really just friends.. He always share with me news about his endless searching for the “right” girl.. he changes these girls every season, and every time we keep discussing what was the problem last time.. i share with him my issues, and again we discuss things.. He is like my 'girlfriend'. I would never consider him as a lover. I mean, of course there is some element of attraction.. but hey, that's how we choose our friends of any gender: element of attraction to the person is always there.. in order to share private things you have to trust person and to like him/her.. but these feelings are way too far from the sexual attraction..
Also this "friendship" cannot interfere with my family. When I have a choice to spend time either with my hub or with this friend, I always chose my hub. So here is the point: if your husband spends too much time with this girl, and if you are neglected at the same time, this is different story..
My hub has some female friend.. she is our common friend actually.. I know her very well.. We spend some time all together (with some other our friends), but I also know that my hub and her sometimes used to go for the lunch, or he used to help her with something.. She recently moved to another gulf country, and my hub and I along with our other friends recently went to visit her there.. So what I want to say is I had never have even one doubt that this is a pure friendship. It’s not about having facts, it is about your sense of the issue.. You as a wife definitely have sense of what exactly is going on… if there is something fishy or not.. If you do feel that there is something, trust me, THER IS!
Why wouldn’t you invite this girl to your house, why wouldn’t you try to become her friend? If it is only friendship, she would respond properly, demonstrating you that there is nothing between her and you hub.. Tell you hub next time when he is going to go to the mall, that you were planning to go exactly to the same mall, and why wouldn't you go all together? Organize outing for you, your hub, this girl, and bring some other friend or better some couple (guy-girl). Try to become part of this group..
But again, just to 'confront' your hub will lead you nowhere.. He perfectly understand that it disturbs and upsets you, and all these fights, tears and ultimatums will only piss him off..
And for those who advise her to get a "Boyfriend" to be equal.. well,, this is not the best way of acting when you want to SAVE your family.. if you want to complete destroying it, then sure, go ahead, get a "BF" and be "equal".. would this equality bring you a happiness?
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes