give the woman a break, some mothers might like to have their kids sleeping with them or consuming their lives, others dont. It doesnt make you bad mother if you want some time for yourself or you want them in a routine, infact it makes you a better mother. Kids need routine and discipline and letting do whatever they want isnt healthy for kids, they need boundaries and consequences for their actions.You are trying to raise a health well adjusted human being, not a person that demands anything from you and therefore becomes a selfish person.
I bet most of the "guilty responses" posted here are from childess people who have no idea about what it entails to be a parent.