"all women who change their surnames post marriage are clearly people with no self-respect and individuality and would rather be known with their husband's name tag rather than their own."
Wow...well thanks for the insult. Never thought I'd see the day when I was tagged as not being a hard core feminist. :P
To quote the bard "What's in a name? Would a rose by any other name not smell as sweet?"
I have to laugh at some of the comments over these 4 pages. First off all the Arabs who say "we aren't sexist we don't make our wives take our name." Nope you don't, what you do instead is take their children in a divorce and slam on about 80 pounds of religious laws and burdens to make them your slaves.
In the beginning the act of changing a wifes surname may have been to demonstrate possession, but now it's simply the act of changing the surname. It doesn't come with any laws or burdens or anything else to turn the wife into the husbands slave as in some other places where the wife might not take the surname.
I could take my husbands surname but that doesn't make me his possession, what it does is signify our new family. It may be a previously sexist tradition but now it's simply a tradition, like Christmas & the tooth fairy. It's symbolic.
And, at least from my country, you aren't by any means expected to do it. Some girls do cause they are more traditional, others because they don't like their last names. Some families hyphenate (which I think is the only truley equal way of doing things) others retain their maiden & bachelor names. Some even come up with whole new last names.
My hubby to be and I sat and discussed it, we didn't want to hyphenate becaues then our name would be 80 syllables long, we debated my keeping my last name, but I want the same last name as my kids. He's an only child but I have sibilings so my family name will be passed on, but if I gave our kids my family name his wouldn't. So I'm taking his. I'm not upset, nor do I think I'm losing something (to think that would require me to have absoulutely no sense of myself and to think that I'm defined by a name, which is nonsense).
A marriage is about comprimise, and your last name should be the first of such mutual decisions.
(On the bright side my concession for taking his last name is that I get to name the kids :D)
Frankly I think anyone who judges others for what they do in a marriage should perhaps clean the windows of their glass houses.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
"all women who change their surnames post marriage are clearly people with no self-respect and individuality and would rather be known with their husband's name tag rather than their own."
Wow...well thanks for the insult. Never thought I'd see the day when I was tagged as not being a hard core feminist. :P
To quote the bard "What's in a name? Would a rose by any other name not smell as sweet?"
I have to laugh at some of the comments over these 4 pages. First off all the Arabs who say "we aren't sexist we don't make our wives take our name." Nope you don't, what you do instead is take their children in a divorce and slam on about 80 pounds of religious laws and burdens to make them your slaves.
In the beginning the act of changing a wifes surname may have been to demonstrate possession, but now it's simply the act of changing the surname. It doesn't come with any laws or burdens or anything else to turn the wife into the husbands slave as in some other places where the wife might not take the surname.
I could take my husbands surname but that doesn't make me his possession, what it does is signify our new family. It may be a previously sexist tradition but now it's simply a tradition, like Christmas & the tooth fairy. It's symbolic.
And, at least from my country, you aren't by any means expected to do it. Some girls do cause they are more traditional, others because they don't like their last names. Some families hyphenate (which I think is the only truley equal way of doing things) others retain their maiden & bachelor names. Some even come up with whole new last names.
My hubby to be and I sat and discussed it, we didn't want to hyphenate becaues then our name would be 80 syllables long, we debated my keeping my last name, but I want the same last name as my kids. He's an only child but I have sibilings so my family name will be passed on, but if I gave our kids my family name his wouldn't. So I'm taking his. I'm not upset, nor do I think I'm losing something (to think that would require me to have absoulutely no sense of myself and to think that I'm defined by a name, which is nonsense).
A marriage is about comprimise, and your last name should be the first of such mutual decisions.
(On the bright side my concession for taking his last name is that I get to name the kids :D)
Frankly I think anyone who judges others for what they do in a marriage should perhaps clean the windows of their glass houses.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce