"I do think about my ex-es and compare them to you."
- Erm..I can't remember my exes - that reboot thingy worked really well.

'I don’t care you call or not’ is pure pretence.
- Erm.. unfortunately, that's not a pretence. I'd only care if my whole world revolved around you and it does not.

"The day you shared your password with me, digging into your chat records and mails was the first thing I did."
- Who the heck has the time or the inclination to do that? Oh yeah, only if life revolved around you.

"I love to make you a little jealous as it makes me feel wanted. So the next time you spot me flirting with your friend, know that I’m actually flirting with you through her."
- Ok, this is where this unravels... flirting with you through HER??

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Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.