1.Never ask what position they try to hire you on.
2.Don’t even try to figure out what your duties and responsibilities will be like.
3.Don’t answer any questions if you don’t feel like, ‘specially if you hear such unknown words like OUTLOOK EXPRESS, MS EXCELL, or (God forbid) DOCUMENT CONTROLL SYSTEM. Although you may want actively to participate in the discussion on how to properly prepare BAHOOR . It will be appreciated.
4.You MUST ask about your salary. No need to listen carefully for the offer. In any case don’t accept it right away, no matter what an unreal fantastic figure do they offer to you! Remember! You’ve got wasta, that’s why you deserve at least double of what they offered!
5.If they disagree with your number, don’t bother to prove that you worth it, just say (with the great fatigue in your voice): no, thank you, I am not going to leave my home for such a silly amount. You will see, they will be impressed!
6.Simply call your wasta and repeat the amount which you want to receive every month from this Company. Two days later this Company will call you and will beg you to join them as soon as possible, with requested salary.
II.You are hired!
Your First Day:
1.Don’t rush to jump into busy office schedule right away! Take your time getting knowing the environment! Take ALL you time!
2.Make a request to set the phone and internet access for you at the very first hour of your work! Remember, you have to call all your 1001 friends and to inform them that you started your exciting career, but it’s so busy here that you are already tired and need a vacation! And you may want to send e-mails to another 1001 friends with the same subject. So don’t give up! Request the telephone and the Internet!
Your First week:
1.It has been long day yesterday! 5 hours nonstop!! It was too much for you! You definitely need a break! Don’t reflect for too long, go on sick leave! They cannot fire you just because you don’t feel well! So call them and tell them that you are not going to show up at the office today. After that you can easily disappear for 3 days! Don’t worry, they are not going to bother you! WHY WOULD THEY? Do they need you at all in the first place??
2.You can come to the office again on Thursday, but don’t show up on time, let them guess whether you coming today or not, and then surprise them somewhere in the middle of the day.
Your First Month:
1.You definitely need a training! After 2 weeks at the office you still have no any clue about what’s going on here and what this Company is dealing with! Request the training at the Head Office as far as possible from your current location. You will get it! They want you to get familiar with the nature of their business eventually!
2.Now you can play a simple game: tell your boss that you are at the Head Office, and tell the Head Office that you have an urgent job at your work place. Disappear out of their view for another 7-10 days! Go for the shopping and visiting your friends instead.
Two Months later:
1.Now you need a vacation for sure! You learned so many things during these two months!
-You learnt who are other wasta possessor at the office, and you are gathering with them for 3-4 hours every day, discussing who’s wasta is stronger and who’s abaya is nicer.
-You learned what exactly this Company’s name.
- You learnt that you have been hired as an HR coordinator (as a link to Head office HR).
-Yeah, you finally learned what an HR is.
-You learned how to insert the Company’s Logo into the document.
-And another important thing you leared is how to find the name of the person in the Company’s directory created in Excel (now you also know what Excel is!!), by simply pressing Ctrl+F and typing the name you want to find. You remember how much you were impressed when your boss (who by the way is getting a salary equal to half of your salary) showed you this “trick”?? You remember how did you spend next two days on the phone with your friends, sharing your fantastic achievement??
2.So you are definitely tired of getting all this endless knowledge! Fill out the corresponding HR Leave Form. If you don’t know how to fill out the HR Form (nevermind, you are HR coordinator by yourself, you are still on training, right?), ask your boss to do it for you. Your boss won’t refuse, as your boss doesn’t have a wasta!
3.Go on vacation! Don’t worry that someone still needs to do your job. Who cares?? YOU HAVE GOT A WASTA!!
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us." Oliver Wendell Holmes
Working Rules for those with wasta:
I.During the interview:
1.Never ask what position they try to hire you on.
2.Don’t even try to figure out what your duties and responsibilities will be like.
3.Don’t answer any questions if you don’t feel like, ‘specially if you hear such unknown words like OUTLOOK EXPRESS, MS EXCELL, or (God forbid) DOCUMENT CONTROLL SYSTEM. Although you may want actively to participate in the discussion on how to properly prepare BAHOOR . It will be appreciated.
4.You MUST ask about your salary. No need to listen carefully for the offer. In any case don’t accept it right away, no matter what an unreal fantastic figure do they offer to you! Remember! You’ve got wasta, that’s why you deserve at least double of what they offered!
5.If they disagree with your number, don’t bother to prove that you worth it, just say (with the great fatigue in your voice): no, thank you, I am not going to leave my home for such a silly amount. You will see, they will be impressed!
6.Simply call your wasta and repeat the amount which you want to receive every month from this Company. Two days later this Company will call you and will beg you to join them as soon as possible, with requested salary.
II.You are hired!
Your First Day:
1.Don’t rush to jump into busy office schedule right away! Take your time getting knowing the environment! Take ALL you time!
2.Make a request to set the phone and internet access for you at the very first hour of your work! Remember, you have to call all your 1001 friends and to inform them that you started your exciting career, but it’s so busy here that you are already tired and need a vacation! And you may want to send e-mails to another 1001 friends with the same subject. So don’t give up! Request the telephone and the Internet!
Your First week:
1.It has been long day yesterday! 5 hours nonstop!! It was too much for you! You definitely need a break! Don’t reflect for too long, go on sick leave! They cannot fire you just because you don’t feel well! So call them and tell them that you are not going to show up at the office today. After that you can easily disappear for 3 days! Don’t worry, they are not going to bother you! WHY WOULD THEY? Do they need you at all in the first place??
2.You can come to the office again on Thursday, but don’t show up on time, let them guess whether you coming today or not, and then surprise them somewhere in the middle of the day.
Your First Month:
1.You definitely need a training! After 2 weeks at the office you still have no any clue about what’s going on here and what this Company is dealing with! Request the training at the Head Office as far as possible from your current location. You will get it! They want you to get familiar with the nature of their business eventually!
2.Now you can play a simple game: tell your boss that you are at the Head Office, and tell the Head Office that you have an urgent job at your work place. Disappear out of their view for another 7-10 days! Go for the shopping and visiting your friends instead.
Two Months later:
1.Now you need a vacation for sure! You learned so many things during these two months!
-You learnt who are other wasta possessor at the office, and you are gathering with them for 3-4 hours every day, discussing who’s wasta is stronger and who’s abaya is nicer.
-You learned what exactly this Company’s name.
- You learnt that you have been hired as an HR coordinator (as a link to Head office HR).
-Yeah, you finally learned what an HR is.
-You learned how to insert the Company’s Logo into the document.
-And another important thing you leared is how to find the name of the person in the Company’s directory created in Excel (now you also know what Excel is!!), by simply pressing Ctrl+F and typing the name you want to find. You remember how much you were impressed when your boss (who by the way is getting a salary equal to half of your salary) showed you this “trick”?? You remember how did you spend next two days on the phone with your friends, sharing your fantastic achievement??
2.So you are definitely tired of getting all this endless knowledge! Fill out the corresponding HR Leave Form. If you don’t know how to fill out the HR Form (nevermind, you are HR coordinator by yourself, you are still on training, right?), ask your boss to do it for you. Your boss won’t refuse, as your boss doesn’t have a wasta!
3.Go on vacation! Don’t worry that someone still needs to do your job. Who cares?? YOU HAVE GOT A WASTA!!
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes