This swine flu virus was developed in an illict Iranian lab 10 miles underneath central Tehran, and was funded by Saudi petrodollars. Ahmadinejad himself personally sanctioned the work, which was called Project Oink. The aim was to create a pig-based virus which, after it spread around, would prove to the world that Islam had successfully foretold that pigs were unclean. The raging decimation of the virus, as it swept around the world would demonstrate to kufaar mankind that they had been terribly wrong not to embrace Islam, and they would convert in hope of relenting Allah's anger in the terribly morbid progression of this horrific virus.

In saving themselves, they would buy Tamiflu from its American/Israeli manufacturers, thus giving money to the Americans, but - and here's the genius of it, and this was part of the plan! - someone would release the details of Project Oink onto internet conspiracy websites, which people would read and, in their inconsolable grief at losing their families, would create great anger at the Americans for profiteering off such human tragedy.

The rest of the newly-Muslim-world would then unite in an uprising to destroy evil America. The remaining world populace would then unanimously welcome and accept Ahmadinejad as their Supreme Leader, Osama bin Laden as Minister of Defence, and Kim Jong-Il would make a cameo appearance as himself in drag.

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"let's slip out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini" Mae West