I know what you are going through i already have met some people who have the same ideas of yours but finally understood that they were wrong thank God that is while they are in this world.

but being someone who cares about humans i would advise you to keep trying instead of regretting later that "I was wrong" you are alive now so you should act now. i dont mean you should convert to Islam etc but i mean search the truth.its good adventure.

Poverty is not for the sake of hardship. No, it is there because nothing exists but God. Poverty unlocks the door -- what a blessed key!

- Jalaluddin al-Rumi