Two senior citizens decide that since they're close to their final days, they should have one last tom-cattin' night on the town like they used to back in the 50s.

After more than a few drinks, they stagger into the local brothel. The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager:

"...They're off their faces. Go and put an inflated doll in rooms 26 & 27....These two are so old and drunk, they won't even know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs to take care of their business and show those hussies a damn good time.

Ten minutes later, they meet outside. The first old guy says:

"You know, I think my girl was dead!

"Dead?"

says his friend,

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was makin' sweet love to her."

His friend says:

"You think that's bad? I think mine was a witch who hates men!

When I was kissing her on the neck, I got a bit carried away and gave her just a little bite. Jesus Harold Christ, the bitch farted and flew straight out the window!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.