but my Unicorn is bigger and better than your meatball based false deity. Ham and Pineapple or Pepperoni and Mushrooms?

The noodley appendage you speak of is just a delusion - All hail the Truthful Doctrine of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (Peace Be Unto Her).

"Deaths in the Bible. God - 2,270,365
not including the victims of Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the
many plagues, famines, fiery serpents, etc because no specific numbers
were given. Satan - 10."