To use your British expression, you are both a pair of nancy boys. You should move in together and braid each other's hair. A real man like me has no idea what or where a supermarket checkout is or how to cook anything, let alone something as sophisticated as a pot noodle. I might be scared of spiders but you guys are 90% estrogen.

Dry your eyes boys and toughen up!

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about