I have a theory that poor old Bernie only ended up here in Qatar because UK hospital radio rejected him. I'm sure he was trained by Alan Partridge

He's about as funny as a dose of the skits; isn't it time the poor old sod was put out to pasture?

And yes, that bint who is on later - yesterday she was reporting some sports news and telling us that somebody had "completed in 2 metres, 25 seconds" .... obviously not realising that the "m" was for minutes. What a doughball!

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"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places". - Henny Youngman