The more gifted writers among us could have a competition to see who can invent the most plausible yet ridiculous and fake Politically Correct news story.

Mine would start:

"Sainsbury's in Dewsbury, West Yorkshire, have just inaugurated a fleet of Halal Delivery Vans for local supermarkets which have never been used to deliver bacon, following local community leaders' concerns that their normal delivery vans have been 'contaminated' by carrying the packaging of pork products."

Can anyone improve on this?