Cultural idiosyncrasies can be and often are a source of misunderstanding, and in our relatively recent heterogeneous society, the potential for conflict is great. Take for example the apparently innocuous handshake. As a social greeting, the hand is often extended prior to any conversation and long before people have a chance to learn that it is a taboo in another culture.
It is difficult to refuse such an affable gesture, more especially when you know the person extending their hand intends no malice or ill feeling – refusal can be misconstrued and sometimes, punishable. Take for example the recent retraction of a prestigious award simply because the Muslim male announced that he could not shake the hand of the female presenter. This stricture is by no means peculiar to Muslims, both orthodox Jews and Hindus prohibit the shaking of hands with members of the opposite sex.
Unfortunately, for non-Muslims the divergent practice among various Muslims and a general atmosphere of appeasement by those who claim to speak for Muslims, adds to the confusion. The answer to this dilemma is reciprocal understanding and accommodation.
When a Muslim is placed in the uncomfortable position of having to refuse a handshake from a member of the opposite sex, it is more often than not the Muslim who will be extremely embarrassed. No disrespect is intended, the Muslim is simply applying the statement of the Prophet when he said: “I do not shake hands with women” [At-Tabarnee in Al Mu'jam-ul-Kabeer (24/342) and authenticated in Saheeh Al-Jaami (no.8054)] and the speech of Allah (God) when He says: Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow....(Qur'an 33:21). Indeed the Prophet said, “that a man get struck with an iron needle in his head is better for him than that he touches a woman that is not permissible for him (to touch)”. [Reported by At-Tabaraanee, Al-Bayhaqee and others and Imaam Al-Albaanee authenticated it in Silsilat As-Saheehah (1/447-448)].
Some may see this as discourteous; however bear in mind that the one who said, “I do not shake hands with women” also said, “the most perfect believer is one who is the best in courtesy and amiable manners, and the best among you people is one who is most kind and courteous to his wife" (Tirmidhi) and in another narration, “the best among you is the one who treats his family best." (Tirmidhi).
Without a doubt then the prohibition of shaking hands with members of the opposite sex was borne out of deep respect, and when Muslims follow this noble example today they do so out of respect for the company they are in and with a desire to follow the example of the noble Prophet.
Cultural idiosyncrasies can be and often are a source of misunderstanding, and in our relatively recent heterogeneous society, the potential for conflict is great. Take for example the apparently innocuous handshake. As a social greeting, the hand is often extended prior to any conversation and long before people have a chance to learn that it is a taboo in another culture.
It is difficult to refuse such an affable gesture, more especially when you know the person extending their hand intends no malice or ill feeling – refusal can be misconstrued and sometimes, punishable. Take for example the recent retraction of a prestigious award simply because the Muslim male announced that he could not shake the hand of the female presenter. This stricture is by no means peculiar to Muslims, both orthodox Jews and Hindus prohibit the shaking of hands with members of the opposite sex.
Unfortunately, for non-Muslims the divergent practice among various Muslims and a general atmosphere of appeasement by those who claim to speak for Muslims, adds to the confusion. The answer to this dilemma is reciprocal understanding and accommodation.
When a Muslim is placed in the uncomfortable position of having to refuse a handshake from a member of the opposite sex, it is more often than not the Muslim who will be extremely embarrassed. No disrespect is intended, the Muslim is simply applying the statement of the Prophet when he said: “I do not shake hands with women” [At-Tabarnee in Al Mu'jam-ul-Kabeer (24/342) and authenticated in Saheeh Al-Jaami (no.8054)] and the speech of Allah (God) when He says: Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow....(Qur'an 33:21). Indeed the Prophet said, “that a man get struck with an iron needle in his head is better for him than that he touches a woman that is not permissible for him (to touch)”. [Reported by At-Tabaraanee, Al-Bayhaqee and others and Imaam Al-Albaanee authenticated it in Silsilat As-Saheehah (1/447-448)].
Some may see this as discourteous; however bear in mind that the one who said, “I do not shake hands with women” also said, “the most perfect believer is one who is the best in courtesy and amiable manners, and the best among you people is one who is most kind and courteous to his wife" (Tirmidhi) and in another narration, “the best among you is the one who treats his family best." (Tirmidhi).
Without a doubt then the prohibition of shaking hands with members of the opposite sex was borne out of deep respect, and when Muslims follow this noble example today they do so out of respect for the company they are in and with a desire to follow the example of the noble Prophet.
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