... but I got an answering service

'allo, dees eeza da vateecan. Eefa you wanna leave a message for-a da Holy Father, press-a 1; eefa you wanna book-a da private room for parties, press-a 2; eefa you wanna make a comment about-a da policy on-a da nooky, hang up-a da phone coz we ain't a-gonna do nutting.

I tried and failed. Abject apologies.

.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson