Nice to see you. It appears that my little hand grenade, lobbed in as a forum topic last night through sheer boredom, elicited some rather passionate comments. I particularly like your use of the French Connection in order to emphasise a point. Such talent!

Please provide me with your home phone number, e-mail address, postal address, fax number, mobile number, and the phone numbers of all your friends, relatives, acquaintances, medical, dental, and optical service providers, in the event that I wish to post a new forum topic and you are not online to grant permission.

Thank you for reading this short message. In the event that this short message offends anyone on earth in even the slightest way imaginable, I humbly beg the forgiveness of the world wide web as a whole. Should the post not have offended you personally, the aforementioned forgiveness may be granted in anticipation that I am probably going to p*ss you off at some point during your or my lifetime, whichever is the shorter.   

 "You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks"