If there was any bad language in my post then I would have been warned by the moderator. Where's your sense of humour? Then again, I suppose that with English being my native tongue, perhaps dry wit may elude those who merely massacre the language, as opposed to understanding nuance and inflection. I hope you're going to be in a better mood when mummy and daddy turn up with a sackful of rupees.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap