I read the Time article and it seems she wanted to believe even though she knew nothing was there.
Also found out that in 1997 the archbishop of Calcutta gave her an exorcism because "there was such despair at her state of mind"
'Teresa reported on several occasions inviting a confessor to visit and
then being unable to speak. Eventually, one thought to ask her to write
the problem down, and she complied. "The more I want him — the less I
am wanted," she wrote Périer in 1955. A year later she sounded
desolate: "Such deep longing for God — and ... repulsed — empty — no
faith — no love — no zeal. — [The saving of] Souls holds no attraction
— Heaven means nothing — pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him
in spite of everything."'
and
"What do I labour for? If there be no God — there can be no soul — if there is no Soul then Jesus — You also are not true"
There was one respite. In October 1958, Pope Pius XII died, and requiem
Masses were celebrated around the Catholic world. Teresa prayed to the
deceased Pope for a "proof that God is pleased with the Society." And
"then and there," she rejoiced, "disappeared the long darkness ... that
strange suffering of 10 years." Unfortunately, five weeks later she
reported being "in the tunnel" once more. And although, as we shall
see, she found a way to accept the absence, it never lifted again. Five
years after her Nobel, a Jesuit priest in the Calcutta province noted
that "Mother came ... to speak about the excruciating night in her
soul. It was not a passing phase but had gone on for years." A 1995
letter discussed her "spiritual dryness." She died in 1997.
"I utter words of Community prayers — and try my utmost to get out of
every word the sweetness it has to give — But my prayer of union is not
there any longer — I no longer pray."
It sounds to me that she KNEW! , but could not give up what she had dedicated her life to. I find that I feel very sad for her.
I don't go to mythical places with strange men.
-- Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.
Her crisis lasted 40yrs!
I read the Time article and it seems she wanted to believe even though she knew nothing was there.
Also found out that in 1997 the archbishop of Calcutta gave her an exorcism because "there was such despair at her state of mind"
'Teresa reported on several occasions inviting a confessor to visit and
then being unable to speak. Eventually, one thought to ask her to write
the problem down, and she complied. "The more I want him — the less I
am wanted," she wrote Périer in 1955. A year later she sounded
desolate: "Such deep longing for God — and ... repulsed — empty — no
faith — no love — no zeal. — [The saving of] Souls holds no attraction
— Heaven means nothing — pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him
in spite of everything."'
and
"What do I labour for? If there be no God — there can be no soul — if there is no Soul then Jesus — You also are not true"
There was one respite. In October 1958, Pope Pius XII died, and requiem
Masses were celebrated around the Catholic world. Teresa prayed to the
deceased Pope for a "proof that God is pleased with the Society." And
"then and there," she rejoiced, "disappeared the long darkness ... that
strange suffering of 10 years." Unfortunately, five weeks later she
reported being "in the tunnel" once more. And although, as we shall
see, she found a way to accept the absence, it never lifted again. Five
years after her Nobel, a Jesuit priest in the Calcutta province noted
that "Mother came ... to speak about the excruciating night in her
soul. It was not a passing phase but had gone on for years." A 1995
letter discussed her "spiritual dryness." She died in 1997.
"I utter words of Community prayers — and try my utmost to get out of
every word the sweetness it has to give — But my prayer of union is not
there any longer — I no longer pray."
It sounds to me that she KNEW! , but could not give up what she had dedicated her life to. I find that I feel very sad for her.
I don't go to mythical places with strange men.
-- Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.