Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: F@@k off! We're the People's Front of Judea
On the question of what the Romans have done for us?
Reg: All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what have the Romans ever done for us?
Brian's Mother: He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans. Brian: I do! Reg: Oh yeah, how much? Brian: A lot! Reg: Right, you're in.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper? Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"? Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir. Brian: Well, what happened? Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir. Brian: Cured? Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bl@@dy miracle, sir. Bless you! Brian: Who cured you? Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bl@@dy do-gooder
The Crowd: The Messiah! The Messiah! Show us the Messiah! Brian's mother: The who? The Crowd: The Messiah! Brian's mother: There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no Messiah. Now go away!
Some of the funniest lines on a film ever,
Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: F@@k off! We're the People's Front of Judea
On the question of what the Romans have done for us?
Reg: All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what have the Romans ever done for us?
Brian's Mother: He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in.
Wise Man #1: We were led by a star.
Brian's mother: Led by a bottle, more like.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bl@@dy miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bl@@dy do-gooder
Wise Man #1: Ahem!
Brian?s mother: Oh!
[falls over in chair]
Brian?s mother: Who are you?
Wise Man #2: We are three wise men.
Brian?s mother: What?
Wise Man #1: We are three wise men.
Brian?s mother: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
The Crowd: The Messiah! The Messiah! Show us the Messiah!
Brian's mother: The who?
The Crowd: The Messiah!
Brian's mother: There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no Messiah. Now go away!