Depressed, please see a psychiatrist about this. Give it a chance. It could really help. And live in the moment. Sounds cheezy but there's truth to it. Try not to dwell too much on the past and just enjoy what you're doing now. I know this all sounds trite when you're depressed, but with some help from a doctor and some time, things will look up. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Please get help.

Take care,
Izzie