JBH said: "I share most of your view points but i can't understand why you look for the very worst in what someone elses views are.
You can't make assumtions about people you don't know, it's just not right."
JBH, what I actually took exception to, was something Alexa said, there was no assumption on my part about it. In her most recent post, she said that she was simply "suggesting" that women didn't go out without male company.
That was not what she said in her original post, which I objected to. I wasn't assuming anything at all, as you say; I was simply responding to Alexa's comment, and I do quote precisely here, I made no assumptions whatsoever about this (although admittedly I later put the word "chaperone" in her mouth when she had referred to "male company"):
"I believe any self respecting lady will either go with male company or will stay away from those places."
Feel free to check back to page 1 and see that I'm not assuming this, I'm quoting her directly.
Personally, I think it's wrong to say that if a woman goes out without male company then she is not "self respecting". I'll admit, I do find that offensive.
How am I "looking for the worst" in that? I was genuinely offended to be thought of, as a single woman, as not being "self respecting" simply for the 'crime' of thinking a single woman should be able to go out to meet up with friends.
I'm a woman, I go out unaccompanied, and Alexa believes that makes me 'not a "self respecting" woman'. Can you not understand that I might be taken aback and even offended by such a slur on the character of single women, of whom I'm one?
JBH said: "How do you think things should be for women?"
Well, for starters, I'd rather people didn't automatically assume that a single woman who is out and about town, probably waiting to meet family or friends is not "self respecting".
I mean you accuse me of making assumptions, JBH, but that's a heck of an assumption on Alexa's part. Are you going to take her to task for making assumptions about the respectability or otherwise of single women?
And for the record, I'm not offended by your comments here. I'm simply responding to them.
And admittedly, I'm quite feisty about this issue. I'm a very independent woman. I've lived and worked in two different countries so far (one of them twice). I headed out to both those countries not really knowing anyone -- for one of the countries, I had briefly met some of my colleagues/classmates during a selection day. But I have travelled to those countries and to others without male company.
I'm heading out to Qatar shortly, and I don't know a soul over there (except the man who interviewed me in London, whom I briefly met).
I'm a bit concerned now, I mean, does embarking on this journey, as a single woman, without male company, to a different country, mean that other people will look down upon me and consider me to be lacking in "self respect"? Because that's the general impression that I'm beginning to get.
I really would appreciate some discussion about it, preferably without comments casting aspersions on the characters of single women, because I am getting a little concerned and need some reassurance.
I do appreciate that there are problems with men harassing women, but I'd just must rather that the problem was discussed by criticising the behaviour of the men who are doing it, and how they can be prevented or dealt with, instead of criticising the woman who is the unwilling 'victim' in all this.
JBH said: "I share most of your view points but i can't understand why you look for the very worst in what someone elses views are.
You can't make assumtions about people you don't know, it's just not right."
JBH, what I actually took exception to, was something Alexa said, there was no assumption on my part about it. In her most recent post, she said that she was simply "suggesting" that women didn't go out without male company.
That was not what she said in her original post, which I objected to. I wasn't assuming anything at all, as you say; I was simply responding to Alexa's comment, and I do quote precisely here, I made no assumptions whatsoever about this (although admittedly I later put the word "chaperone" in her mouth when she had referred to "male company"):
"I believe any self respecting lady will either go with male company or will stay away from those places."
Feel free to check back to page 1 and see that I'm not assuming this, I'm quoting her directly.
Personally, I think it's wrong to say that if a woman goes out without male company then she is not "self respecting". I'll admit, I do find that offensive.
How am I "looking for the worst" in that? I was genuinely offended to be thought of, as a single woman, as not being "self respecting" simply for the 'crime' of thinking a single woman should be able to go out to meet up with friends.
I'm a woman, I go out unaccompanied, and Alexa believes that makes me 'not a "self respecting" woman'. Can you not understand that I might be taken aback and even offended by such a slur on the character of single women, of whom I'm one?
JBH said: "How do you think things should be for women?"
Well, for starters, I'd rather people didn't automatically assume that a single woman who is out and about town, probably waiting to meet family or friends is not "self respecting".
I mean you accuse me of making assumptions, JBH, but that's a heck of an assumption on Alexa's part. Are you going to take her to task for making assumptions about the respectability or otherwise of single women?
And for the record, I'm not offended by your comments here. I'm simply responding to them.
And admittedly, I'm quite feisty about this issue. I'm a very independent woman. I've lived and worked in two different countries so far (one of them twice). I headed out to both those countries not really knowing anyone -- for one of the countries, I had briefly met some of my colleagues/classmates during a selection day. But I have travelled to those countries and to others without male company.
I'm heading out to Qatar shortly, and I don't know a soul over there (except the man who interviewed me in London, whom I briefly met).
I'm a bit concerned now, I mean, does embarking on this journey, as a single woman, without male company, to a different country, mean that other people will look down upon me and consider me to be lacking in "self respect"? Because that's the general impression that I'm beginning to get.
I really would appreciate some discussion about it, preferably without comments casting aspersions on the characters of single women, because I am getting a little concerned and need some reassurance.
I do appreciate that there are problems with men harassing women, but I'd just must rather that the problem was discussed by criticising the behaviour of the men who are doing it, and how they can be prevented or dealt with, instead of criticising the woman who is the unwilling 'victim' in all this.