15 years in Hong Kong and I saw the same. In fact, I (Western female) was with a Western guy for 7 years and we split up. He then dated a local Chinese girl and as we were part of the same social circle, I saw quite a bit of them socially (I even went to their wedding.... don't ask!)Anyway, when he started dating her, I hardly recognized him. With her, he was doting, protective, chivalrous etc. He had never been those things with me. I actually asked him why, and he told me that I wouldn't have wanted him to behave that way. I thought about it for a while and realised he was probably right. I really wouldn't want a guy to wait for me outside the bathroom, accompany me to the dance floor if he didn't want to dance, focus all his attention on me etc.

I think people behave in relationships according to what they believe their partner wants or is used to.

Men, your thoughts please?