ٹین ایجر بچے والدین کی بات کیوں نہیں سنتے ؟؟
We tend to give too much love, affection and too little discipline when our kids are very young. Once they grow older we suddenly start noticing the damage and tightening the noose of discipline around their necks. They feel suffocated, powerless and they believe that the whole world especially their parents have turned against them. Teen boys start throwing tantrums, disobying their parents and getting into fights, drugs etc. Its' especially dangerous for teen girls, who start believing that their otherwise doting dad's have stopped loving them anymore ,as a result start looking for love at all the wrong places. They are actually, unconsciously looking for the lost love of their dads when they become attention seekers and start hooking up with the wrong guys.
This whole ugly situation can be avoided if parents take cautions from a very early age. I am quoting this excellent excerpt from Dr.Sylvia Rimm a noted child psychiatrist and author. She writes tha:
"A developmental analogy I use in my book, "How To Parent So Children Will Learn" is the V of love.
When children are young you can view them at the base of the V with little power, little freedom, few choices and few responsibilities. As they mature parents gradually increase their power, freedom and choices, matched with increased responsibilities. Children thus feel gradually empowered as parents back off to treat them in a more mature fashion.
In our culture today, many children are brought up with the inverted V —thus having too much power, too many choices, and too much freedom before they can manage responsibility and project the future. Consequences alone are insufficient for learning that they've made mistakes. This early overempowerment often leads parents to punish children more severely as they get into trouble, thus taking power away that they've given too early. By the tween and teen years, these children often feel powerless and are angry and rebellious, thus causing adolescence to feel like a constant battle. The tweens and teens feel powerless only relative to the overempowerment they wielded too early. Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs temporarily cause them to feel empowered and they're very vulnerable to addiction and serious high-risk behaviors."
