Funnies
I'm sure you guys know about the eternal rivalry between Argentinians and Brazilians (shame, they really think they're better at soccer than us, hehehe), so here it's a joke about it. I tried tranlating it to English.
Needless to say it's just a joke and surely there are jokes like these in Argentina aimed at Brazilians.
REMORSO DE GAÚCHO...
Um gaúcho entra na polícia em Uruguaiana e dirige-se ao delegado:
- Vim entregar-me, cometi um crime e desde então não consigo viver em paz.
- Meu senhor, as leis aqui são muito severas e são cumpridas e se o senhor é mesmo culpado não haverá apelação nem dor de consciência que o livre da cadeia.
- Atropelei um argentino na estrada ao sul de Caxias.
- Ora meu amigo, como o senhor pode se culpar se estes argentinos atravessam as ruas e as estradas a todo o momento?
- Mas ele estava no acostamento.
- Se estava no acostamento é porque queria atravessar, se não fosse o senhor seria outro qualquer.
- Mas não tive nem a hombridade de avisar a família daquele homem, sou um crápula!
- Meu amigo, se o senhor tivesse avisado haveria manifestação, repudio popular, passeata, repressão, pancadaria e morreria muito mais gente, acho o senhor um pacifista, merece uma estátua.
- Eu enterrei o pobre homem ali mesmo, na beira da estrada.
- O senhor é um grande humanista, enterrar um argentino, é um benfeitor, outro qualquer o abandonaria ali mesmo para ser comido por urubus e outros animais, provavelmente até hienas.
- Mas enquanto eu o enterrava, ele gritava: Estoy vivo, estoy vivo!
- Tudo mentira, esses argentinos mentem muito!!!!
Translation:
Gaúcho's guilt (gaúcho is a guy from the South of Brazil - the state borders Argentina)
A gaucho enters the police station near the Argentinian border and tells the sheriff:
- I'm turning myself in, since I've commited this crime I cannot live in peace.
- Sir, the laws here are very strict and we do enforce them. If you are really guilty, there will be no appeal that will free you.
- I ran over an Argentinian on the highway near Argentina.
- C'mon, my friend, how can you blame yourself if these Argentinians cross our highways all the time?
- But he was in the shoulder lane.
- If he was in the shoulder lane is because he wanted to cross, if it werent you it would have been someone else.
- But I wasn't man enough to tell his family, I'm a jerk.
- My friend, if you had told his family there would have been a big deal, masses on the streets protesting, riots, fights and a lot more people would have died. You are a pacifist, you dserver an award!
- I buried the poor guy by the highway itself.
- You are a great person, burying an Argentinian, wow, anyone else would have just left the guy there for the vultures and other animals, possibly even the hyenas.
- But while I was burying him he kept on screaming: I'm alive, I'm alive!
- All lies! These Argentinians lie a lot!!!
