What to do with my maid
We have recently hired a full-time maid. She came recommended from another family.
Unfortunately, it is not working out. She is kind in nature, but she is terrible at her job--lack of attention to detail, flighty, and worryingly irresponsible with my children. She is not mean-spirited, just unreliable to the point of not being safe.
In short, she just is not cut out to be a maid. We give her a good salary and plenty of time off, so it is not a case of mistreatment.
We've tried talking to her, but it makes little difference. We also spoke to her former family, who, upon pressure, admitted similar concerns, but wanted to find her a family (in other words they were less that honest with their endorsement of her).
So what do we do? I don't want to thrust her on some other unsuspecting family, and we really want to have a maid. Any advice?
I agree with 2020 and elegance here,,,simply out of experience.
Congrats for solving the problem Bachus...and remember, this is not the West...things and people are different here.
Don't be fooled!
The right and only choice in the end.
I agree with Elegance on treatment of maids. Give too much and they will take you for a fool and take advantage.
No advice except to listen more seriously to those in the know who give it. I honestly thinking finding a good and reliable maid is a matter of luck, and that if one happens to live in your house, do what you can to retain her.
Personally, I don't think it is worth all the hassle. There are plenty of people looking for part-time work to do the cleaning. Child-care is different, but fortunately for us we do not need to rely too heavily on anyone outside the family.
Bachus, One final question? Which nationality was your maid ? Any suggestions from a person who is putting balm on his injury to someone about to get a cut? :-)
I am about to take in a full time maid. The paperwork is done.. :-(
yeeeeeaaaaah...Congrats, Bachus...! We need a party for all the moral support we gave..hee hee :-)
Thanks everyone. She's on her way back to her home country. A (hard) lesson learned by me.
I wonder why people behave dumbly out of being nice. Or are they sensitized and get used to someone playing havoc with their family?
I have been kind to maids all my life. The old lady who came to look after me while I was still in my mothers womb, stayed for 12 years of my life. She and her family attended my marriage. I and my family attended her funeral.
I have always been blessed with cleaners and housemaids who treat me like their own..But one experience about 10 years back made me so shocked that I never dared to take a full time live-in maid again, inspite of all the troubles which really required 24/7 help.
She has worked in other houses before so she should have some experience.
Even I don’t cause clothes to get damaged in the washing machine and I have no maid background experience! Lol
She is playing you obviously. Put her on a plane and send her home. If she is violating her employment contract which clearly mentions she should do this kind of works then there is nothing to feel bad or guilty about.
You are not doing anything wrong or inhumane.
Whatever you do to make her better in her job would be useless if she's not really interested.
Just prepare the documents and send her home before she "accidentally" hurt your kids or burn more of your clothes.
But I remember you whining over the same topic few weeks back.Is'nt it time you solved it?
I guess you and your maid have a "cultural" gap.You are a western angel and she is the Asian devil who thinks she can go to any level with your way of handling a maid. Most of the Asians fear only one thing- A smack or a slap. She is so sure she will not get it from you, however things go.
I know now a lot of comments like" Hang Elegance" "Crucify Elegance" etc will appear now.
But folks, that is the truth.
I cannot keep a full time maid as I treat them like a friend and they jump on my head very soon. A part time cleaner/maid works very well as I can be friendly and the system works well as they dont live under the same roof 24/7.
In the long run, I find that the employers who treat the maid less fairly in terms of pay, comforts, amount of work, etc have their maids stay long term than those who treat their maids like a doll.
And God save me as I am starting the process of hiring a full time maid very soon.. :-( :-)
Increase her salary by 10% and wait for the results.
Find out if she is prepared for the worst (being sent back home). In that case no amount of tactics applied will work. Else let her understand what it means being terminated (2 years ban, perhaps she is not aware of). Then brief her in a matter of fact manner what and how you want things done. Tell her children don't lie and they must be happy with her. Assign her a probation period and give her a chance to improve. Have little patience, praise her for something that she has done right. After all she is a human and most probably she will improve.
If even then she doesn't then you know what to do. At least you will not be in a guilt then as you are now for sure.
GAVE HER CHANCE MAY BE SHE WILL BE OK
yeah never thought of that,, just send her to her hometown
IMHO thewho186 that can lead to her taking it out on the kids. If she thinks there is no hope of the job she might run away, be cruel to the children or rob.
talk to her and tell hr she's not doing well and tell her if she dont change you will expell her,, problem solve
You are being too soft my friend. Clearly you are new to this and are making the novice mistakes. If you send her home without canceling the visa SHE WILL NOT COME BACK and your poor wife will be spending her days ironing and scrubbing and her nights angry with you and with headache (ha! ha!).
Sometimes you must decide what is best for your worker. It is best for her to go home. Do not punish another family with her.
And learn from you mistakes. Do not overpay, keep a close watch, have strict rules for her at the start. She and you will all be happier this way.
We've had house help before but never someone full-time. It's particularly difficult here due to the sponsorship system, as firing her has much more severe consequences for her than forcing her simply to find another job.
We asked her if she wanted to go home and offered to fly her back, but I'm afraid that if we send her home on a visit, she won't return. This will make it impossible to have another maid for a year as I understand it. If she wants to go home for good, then I have no problem sorting out a flight for her, and we would not begrudge her for anything.
Bachus, is this the first time you have a maid in the house? Or did you have house help before?
Honestly, if you feel you have already spoken to her about her performance and are NOT making any progress, then it is time to move on. While I can tell you feel somehow guilty giving up on her, you need to keep mindful that ultimately she is your employee. You are not happy with the work she does, despite talking with her. It also appears the previous family who dumped her on you had similar problems.
Most importantly, there is a safety issue with your kids? This would be grounds for termination, regardless of everything else in my book.
Give her some time, allow her to improve. Then you can decide afterwards.
Scary to see how some people her talk about maids as slaves.
that is such a silly comment, janet!!
When one pays an employee a salary (especially a GOOD salary!) you expect that person to do the job properly. Being disappointed with that person does NOT mean you want a slave!!
U sad. why dont u just get a slave
Give her 3 month to adjust / set your house according to a standard house then she would think to improve from there.
Just be patient !
You speak from heart & try to give real advice.
It is great to have responsible QL member like you .
Regards.
denzil
1. She does not clean well at all. She's ruined some clothes in the wash along with damage to linens, furniture, pans, etc. I'm not sure it is intentional or just sheer lack of not caring.
2. See above. She is either not very bright or, even worse, pretends to be stupid. She cries whenever she is even gently reprimanded, which makes us afraid to complain.
3. Good.
4. She is in her mid-20s with some experience.
I would not wish her on anyone. But I feel guilty and responsible for her well being as I am her sponsor.
The only answer is to speak to her and give her one last chance. if it doesn't work, then get rid of her...
Just get a new maid.
Helklo,
I am willing to take the maid , we have a visa available .
What do you mean by
1) attention to detai: Does she know how to clean ? What do you mean by lack of atention to detail?
2) Flighty ? What is that?
3) She will not be with the kid .
4) How old is she ? Does she have experience?
Worst case is that she finds a boyfriend and runs away with her unhappiness. Seriously, go to the airport and then go to an agency and get a new one. There is no reason for you to tolerate this. She is an employee not your daughter. You are not responsible for her beyond the working contract.
We have had the same situation with our maid she has given us the worst time ever, we gave many chances, but unfortunately we lost too much money sponsoring her, then afetr all, she run away!!!
lol olympics
Its better to find a new maid for your self, no one will give release to a very nice Maid. Obviously there was something,
and its better to get rid of her, before its too late
give your maid a second chance, train her the way you want her to be. don't expect to have a perfect maid. if she is brilliant she will not end up as maid, and she could have been probably your boss.
at the end, not only the maid was developed but your skills as well.
just my opinion. be patient.
Before this turns into thread about how horrible life is for maids and how all locals must do horrible things because someone saw one local misbehaving, blah, blah, blah . . .
This is my advice. Take her to the airpot immediately, do the paperwork to send her home, and put her on a plane. She is clearly spoilt by you or another Western family (who is happy to see their countries armies massacre in other countries but would not see a hair on their heads harmed if they are in service to local family). Not saying you did this, but keep this in mind for the next maid. The situation will not improve with this maid, and it is time to find a more deserving employee who is better for your family.
Send her back to the cheating family you've got her from!