Would you help a friend run away from home?

is this happening here or back in PAK?

what if there's a plan B for parents such as, they kick the girl out & obviously the guy would try to keep her safe & warm. may be he will try to keep her at one of his friends or known places or the least he will take her home.

then this leaves a point to the parents to go & file a case in the police which might result in the guy being arrested for womanizing as they aren't married.the parents can make it a point to assault the boyfriends personality & force the girl to marry someone else,if the girl still stays at home.

if the girl has been asked to leave home, its best that 1st she finds a safer place to stay till the situation calms down+its better that she her self, walks in to the nearest police station & give a statement mentioning all the harassment done to her by the parents + that she has been asked to leave home hence she is leaving & no other party ( the guy ) has any connection for this action of hers & at the earliest, go & get married to this guy(just do the registration, no function involved)

yet doing the police statement in the purpose of saving the guy's personality, if someday in the future the guy turns out to be a total pervert, the girl will have no say too as she has already given a police statement in the past. so there are two sides & both the sides carry almost the same risk.

the same incident happened to one of my very good friends, she ran away as her whole family was beating her up to give up on this guy who was very polite,nice & kind type. yet they diddnt know that the couple was secretly married few months back. so finally they beet her up so bad that she couldnt even go for work & she lost her job.with all the hard work going around her,all the insults & pain she decided to leave the house. the guy refused as the guy was studying yet the girl insisted. so she left home, did the police scene & the guy kept her at one of his friends places. the parents went to the police yet they couldnt do anything against the guy due to the police statement of the girl.

later after an year or so the guy turns out to be a total jerk, treating her bad, womanizing & stuff & the girl came back home. he got caught red handed to the girl, being with another woman.even then she did not stop the relationship with him.that was real love yet finally she got over him & after about 2-3years of struggle, she finally got the divorce from him too. yet think of all the damage caused to her physically, mentally & to her personality? she was tagged as a prostitute & was treated the same by her own family, yet she bared all that for she knew it was her own fault.

love is most of the time a fantasy. it takes more than love & a hell lot of sacrifices to live together without having issues.

I dont say every man is the same yet, this is a huge decision in her life. if you are helping her to run away, please make sure you'll be there, at least to talk with her, during her hard times!!

She has told me about this guy. And that he has talked to her father and that he was going to get his parents to talk to her parents.... and he wanted to do everything in a very respectful way. But her parents do not want him at all. They want her to go back with the man she was engaged with or they would find someone else... but do not want this guy...

But she is standing firm on this because she believes he is a good man. And he teaches her and tries to get her to broaden her horizons about what is out there in the world....

They have kicked her out before in the winter! It was freezing outside and they had her sleep outside. I mean the parents are NOT the ones marrying this guy she is. And her whole life is going to be spent with this guy. I feel like she has the ultimate choice in deciding who she will spend the rest of her life with or not. Parents raise you so you have that opportunity to make such decisions.

And I want to help her and really I think I am going to end up doing so. I feel like this guy is decent, but I just worry if whether or not it will work out. I am concerned for her.

If they've already kicked her out, then how can you help her run away from home ?

Since they kicked her out of the house, technically it's no longer running away from home. Do they expect her to live with this man even though they aren't yet married?

If she has nowhere else to go, there's nothing wrong with putting a roof over her head until she figures things out.

And if he dumps her? Then what? You take care of her for the rest of your lives?

Mandi

Mere assumptions!

Ya, cause the women can't leave without bringing shame on them and on the families.

She has come to the right place. As a true friend consider finding out as much as possible about the man she is mad in love (not infatuation). From a neutral standpoint, you could be the best judge as it will be difficult for both the parties involved to be without prejudice. For girls this age, physical attraction out shadows everything worth considering in the institution of marriage. Take a decision and if need be send her back to her parents place.

It may sound primitive however in cultures it is still observed have the highest success rate of marriages.

Hmm, so, the friend escapes...and then? She gets married to the guy she loves, and lives happily ever after? Or is hunted down by the family because she put shame on them?

Things to think about.

Don't get me wrong, I am 100% against arranged marriages.

But I also think things like this have to be thought through, very, very well. And the way I see this happening is not thought through at all.

Majority of the Families in Sub-Continent are not Broad Minded People......

Yes, in this Case, I Would help Escape my Friend...... :)

Every country has their culture and you cant just blame parents, watching out for their children, taking all the hardships and then when the children grow up they say I love this guy/ gal without even considering their parents expectations. Today many children dont stop to consider the culture, religion or family of their partner, the impact it could have on their parents. That doesnt mean you should marry anyone, take their point of view and marry with their consent. Parents blessings are very important their tears are valuable. Just remember that everyone tomorrow becomes a parent.

i'm not in a position to make judgments here about this forced/arranged marriage practice of some cultures. but as a friend you can help her with whatever's best for her. if you do decide to help her run away think about the consequences carefully and be responsible enough to face them.

if she ends up running away anyway, it's better that she stay with you where you're sure she will be safe than leave her out, alone, on the streets at night right? and it's also better for her and her parents to stay with you instead of running off to the man she loves.

so primitive. I really cannot accept that parents, through some really screwed up ancient beliefs can direct the (totally unhappy) lives of their children.

And trust me this isn't just Pakistani culture, but something many Asian families practice. One of my best friends, a Sri Lankan, has faced this predicament many times. She is, by her own choice, a very religious woman and her parents keep wanting her to marry men who are totally non religious and so not her type.Some are even downright nasty and of bad character but are moneyed and having social standing for which reason her folks are keen. Likewise they have opposed many men she has liked(recommended for her by friends,etc). And many times they have subjected her to much emotional and even physical abuse. And I will do all I can to save her from them, simply because I know what they are asking of her, and doing to her, is very sinful and wrong! You cannot force your child to marry anyone he/she knows they don't want. It's criminal and even in a religious sense against a marriage contract.

So yes, if because of her staying home, my friend is being oppressed and abused, then I would help her escape.And then help her as much as I can.

Isn't that good? you wudn't need to help her to run away any more :-/