WHY DO WE SHOUT IN ANGER?
A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained...
'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return
This thread shows how every individual are emotionally unique.
On topic, well am the silent type. When I got real mad, I talked less, I never shout, and neither I cried, not my way though. But expect something broken near you, and to prevent this, just get lost and stay away from me for an hour and i'll be allright, then and might be sweeter than usual :D
Happy lunch Qlers!
dho wanna die in heart attack...
or might be the person get you angry his deaf...
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
Lol!!!!!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
we normally shout to let others shut their voice up... we wanted sometimes to be heard but positively we can do it by still modulating our voice not to be seemed as shouting, but by explaining our sides.
it is still best to be calm at all times and not by anger consumed us.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
...sometimes we need to shout for emphasis...to what extent our voice could reach, that depends on the person whom we are dealing with..
thanks ranishkt.. i just received it from my email and pasted here.
nice to think about and consider.
try it.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
good post pinoyaccountant ...
we shout in anger becoz...
we wantt every1 quite n listen us ...
isnt ?
hi majnoon. it is of different meaning, action, and intention.
between the two i will prefer to shout and stop from there.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
As a doctor of psychology, i have found this question and all it's answers very interesting. Anger is a selfish time, when we put the physical self first and we push the spiritual self away. There are no problems in the spiritual world, and there is no anger. Anger only exists in the physical world and when we put ourselves before others. When you have the choice to be right or to be kind, choose to be kind.
“A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt”
Ok ma'am with pleasure...shouting while punching, just by thinking I think my stress level was minimized..
Just be sure they are still recognizable when you send them to me...
Apple, where are the pictures? i have been waiting, so i can shout while punching the bag...
Anger can take the best of us...
ok then, dont worry....
"umpisahan ko lang tapusin mo" :D
Give me a couple of days, am still using it :P
anong nadelete?
PA,gotta ask Mr. Pacman for the best quality, huh? :P
lol spike, but why her? Be a lil' bit nice bro, I believe she doesn't deserve that way?..........she deserve worst than that. j/k
Ahh sorry for the hijack, back to the topic! ;)
People shout because anger makes you deaf and you cannot here your own voice..
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
Beautiful meaning.Thanks for sharing.
No worries pal, so easy to figure out when am mad. You won't hear any words utter my mouth, you talk to me and I ain't answer you, that's one signs,... my "Silence".
But hey, I rarely get mad, only to some extent, otherwise i'll just laugh at you. Sometimes, I just drove around alone without destination till I get back to my real own calmness. And I dont like it this way, I wish I could just shout and cry and finish. Grrrrrr :P
Apple been considering that for a while now...
but i am still collecting pictures..so if you have life size pics of GMA and all the presidentiables send me please...
"Jack Frost VS Jack Cool"
lol at apple.. i think it is the best idea. Why not. win-win situation whereas you can lose weight thru boxing routine and you will not hurt the person that makes you angry. Just buy the best quality punching bag, eh.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
No! I haven't tried shouting in an open field, and probably won't try. But instead, am thinking of purchasing a punching bag, and everytime I lost temper at someone, i'll just stick their photos on it and gotcha!
u think its good idea? ;)
sometimes when we are shouting, it does not mean we are angry? isn't it? we wanted only to be heard.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
i am a silent type of person when i am getting anger.
- hal ko! -
when I am attending the yoga sessions in one fitness club here in Qatar, i felt the tensions are releasing and made me relaxed and calm. Guess what? I slept and snored. whew!!!
I have my BP maintenance already and the yoga sessions helped me to lower the pressure and made it back to normal.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
I should say...ask TD PA,hehehe
When you reached the boiling point it's very hard to keep calm, but for me it's the usual thing now...keep it all inside and digest them and be my motivation.
"Jack Frost VS Jack Cool"
hehehhe at apple. if we really could do like that and forget the things that made us angry or hurt us. Sometimes, shouting out loud in an open field as I have already mentioned, tends to release stress and tensions and brings out all garbage emotions within us. Have you tried it?
Chai. come on do it.
I wish that there is an anger management session here in Qatar.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
i'm pissed off today, i really wanted to shout til my voice run out!
OMG...
maybe if we know you are angry already and it is time to go away from you.
I am a silent type too. I shout sometimes but most of the time I prefer to be silent. Less talk, less mistakes- no talk to mistake.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
normaly, for me i never shout to anyone even if Am so nervous. its not my personality...but my wife will be more upset with me bcos i will not talk to her when she is a bit nervous.... i will know if she is so MAD at me .. if she will call me with my complete name in higher voice... hehehe.... i dont want to have the distance of our hearts... lets go out and dance under the rain!..
hi pennystop.. i agree with you but in some note it is not good to shout when anybody is around. lol. it is good when you are alone- in an open field maybe.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
BECAUSE WE CAN and it feels better afterwards lol
My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.
It doesn't apply to me, but I hope when I go back home i can practice to shout again.Not to my wife of course but our dog.
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
If to mankind I'm a disgrace
I will long for a place
Which is beyond the sky's face
Even if it means my grave
"simple yet complicated"
"makamal a anak"
Sometimes it is better to be silent than to hurt other with your sharp tongue and words.
"Adda ti adal na, ngem awan ti sursuro na."
which one are you????
The silent type or the shouting type????
ROAR...just kidding.
However, It is a clear fact that Women use her Tears as tools...Cheers
Spike: Change your positions to control your anger, if you are sitting then stand up or vis-versa.
women nowadays are different from before...
I think you will find that people don't shout when they are angry. It is frustration that causes us to shout. Frustration comes from the feeling that we are not being understood or considered.
I never shout.^_^
PA, with my wife its the other way around..
I am planning to go to sealine just to shout it out.
"simple yet complicated"
"makamal a anak"
im talking in general relationship here and not in lover's relationship... coz it's a different thing there, im not the weak type of girl when it comes to that kind of relationship... im a tigress... lolssss... *wink
my boss says:
"I'LL TRY."
_________________
call me ONE.
I dont shout, i will just going out like to the mall or to my room lie down to my bed and cry and cry and cry.....
normally, the husband is a shouting-type while the wife is a crying-type.
is it? or is it not?
attending an anger management as a therapy is an option too.
yeah.. good suggestion, lovinni.. shout in an open field. i bet that you will feel better upon doing this.
VB that's a good suggestion, wish we have that in the office, I can't even focus now, my emotions are so mixed and so potent that even my intellect is malfunctioning.
"simple yet complicated"
"makamal a anak"
or you can always go to the rooftop and shout as much as u can!
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
You can't teach experience...
using the most powerful woman tool!
Spike: In some countries, to release the stress and anger, burst it out, they keep a room in office with a punching bag and one can go there to do his job.
It is better option than boiling yourself inside and become a patient of high blood pressure.
That is called emotional blackmail lol
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
when angry and pushed to the limits, i could just cry and cry until i feel better... shouting at someone can be detrimental to a relationship, coz whatever comes out of your mouth, can never be taken back...
is it difficult not to shout.. when angry>??
have you tried it before??? try to whisper when you are angry..and release your emotion gradually.
do you know about anger management?
i dont shout.. i will just whisper, "im pissed of!"
we can't please everybody
I am shouting because....uhmmm... I like :D
"AN END DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS"
shout whenever you want spike...
but not to other person... lol.. at least it will release the unrealeased emotions.
I have lost that uncontrollable shouting when I'm angry the day I became a slave here..and I have developed this great facade that even my worst enemy can't breach, I even forgot how to cry,,and I know in time it will cause me a lot...
These unreleased negative emotions that's filing up inside me may burst and my only hope is that it will not take the best of me when it happens.
"simple yet complicated"
"makamal a anak"
there are different situations and different emotions we show because of our individual differences. Some people are easily get mad and angry and speak out through shouting out loud. Somebody prefers to be silent and keep to themselves the bitterness as a result of previous arguments.
When you shout you release your emotions but such may damage relationship or organization. It is true that our hearts distance a lot and therefore does not hear and comprehend the message one must convey. That's why we tend to shout louder... and angrier..
Why not trying to be calm and sit down. Then be quiet and be calm, until you hear each other again...in such way our hearts tend to be closer and closer to understand,
wow nice post...well when i bcome angry i am not souting i become too quiet... n sad
i dont want to shout also. when im too angry i moved away from the situation and face the issue when im calm. but case to case basis, there are certain situations that one becomes so reactive and cant control what comes out of the mouth.
and whatever is said...it can never be taken back. may damage a relationship and it wont be easy to build the trust and bond again... so sad...
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
wow, liked this post so much. makes you pause and ponder for a while. but hey, when i'm so much angry, my voice automatically lowered and the tone so cold. sometimes, i just cry. :-)
mo lang!
:)
Personal views: Generally we shout, when we feel that our views / PoV's didn't get across properly.
Both parties trying to convince their opinion and feels both are right.
shouting is maybe a form of releasing anger and hatred,...
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!!!
maybe to others,, shouting is a release of all your emotions..
did you try to whisper even your too angry to shout???
cut and paste is fun ;)
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (Quran: An-Nisaa 34-35)
Had a real good shoutin match with the hub the other day. He is a boss at work and thinks that he can come home and always be the boss also. WRONG!.
Sometimes I think women are made to feel that they must agree all the time just to avoid arguement, even when truly they disagree.
Most times we can be tolerant of men's need to always be right, but sooner or later that wears very thin and the shouting begins. I hate shouting but sometimes you must shout to be heard, the alternative is gritting your teeth and saying "Yes Dear" "Your right honey" even when we disagree.
Anger’ like love, sadness, happiness, weeping, etc. is a natural emotion of a human being, and it is possible that at an occurrence or incident one may experience the emotion of anger. Thus when one experiences the natural emotion of anger, there is no sin and one will not be accountable for one’s anger, but what one does or says when one is angry will definitely be taken to account by their Lord All-Mighty. It is the deeds a person does when he is angry that will determine his reward or his punishment in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!
Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.11
Malik related from Ibn Shihab from Humayd ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, lest I forget." The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Do not be angry."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5145 Narrated by Abu Sa`id al-Khudri
Allah`s Messenger (saws) mentioned anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas`ud
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 29 Narrated by Mu`adh ibn Jabal
I said to Allah`s Messenger (saws): ‘Inform me about an act which would entitle me to get into Paradise, and remove me away from Hell-Fire.’ He (the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘You have asked me about a matter (which ostensibly appears to be) difficult but it is easy to those for whom Allah, the Exalted, has made it easy. Worship Allah and do not associate anything with him, establish prayer, pay the Zakat, observe the fast of Ramadan and perform Hajj to the (Sacred) House (Ka`bah).’ He (saws) further said: ‘Should I not direct you to the gateways of good? Listen to me: The fasting is a shield against evil, the charity extinguishes (the fire of sin) just as water extinguishes fire.’ Then he (saws) said: ‘Should I not direct you to the highest level of this matter, to the pillar on which (it all rests) and its top?’ I said: ‘O Allah`s Messenger (saws) yes, (do tell me).’ He (saws) said: ‘The uppermost level of the matter is al-Islam. Its pillar is the prayer and its top is Jihad.’ He (saws) then said: ‘Should I not inform you of the sheet anchor of all this?’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) (of course do it).’ He (saws) took hold of his tongue and said: ‘Exercise restraint on it.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), would we be held responsible for what we say with it?’ Thereupon he (saws) said: ‘O Mu`adh, may your mother be bereaved! Will anything else besides (irresponsible, evil, abusive, vain) talk cause the people to be thrown into the Hell-Fire upon their faces or on their nostrils?’
Help people, the Allah ( God) will help you
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is he who contains himself when he is angry."
Help people, the Allah ( God) will help you
When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."
The above quotation was said by Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) quoted from Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5114 Narated By Abu Dharr
Help people, the Allah ( God) will help you
shouting to stress their points/opinions/"truth" bec the other party refuses to hear it...
when in anger so many emotions start to boil and you dont realize when you're firing up....
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
I like this post a lot.
When we shout, it is because we feel that who we are talking to is listening to us, but not hearing us. Its frustrating and disrespectful that you would yell.
interesting... will try it next time when we argue... she may throw things at me and will never miss if i am near to her...
People also shout because the other person dismisses/disrespects them.