Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said
Shame on those who don't try their best to make a relationship work and justify themselves for cheating !!! Every religion teaches the values of relationships, rights of your partner ... I don't know why people don't read their books !!!!
Every religion tells you in one way or the other, that divorce is not good, it is the last thing if nothing else is helping !!!
And their is no space for cheating anyways !!! So you are at sin if you are cheating... think about it.
And yes, regarding those unmarried relationships (before marriage, lovers etc), they are meant to be a disaster as they are not right at the first place .... study your religion, no religion allows relationship before marriage !!
how they take it. Like Gypsy given her views. I always surprised what are the feelings of 2...4 wives in such cases and how they take it?
This thread will further go down from Cheating to polygamy in Islam and need to refer to Islam online website, to see the justification/fatwas given by religious scholars on the subject matter.
To me UKEng,yes, taking a 2nd, 3rd, 4th wife is cheating on the 1st wife. Just cause you have someone say a couple of words doesn't make it any less a violation of your commitment and respect to the 1st wife.
Else you may have to do without clothes, if you are female you should necessarily hang around the male with strongest clout, along with other females. LOL.
Satisfying a physical impulse is any living beings need, but then how you satisfy (with/without anothers help. LOL) and sticking to ones committment is to be a human being living in a society.
Strive for higher moral standards by imitating others (human/animal), this is the essence of humanity.
I do give them credit, however this topic is about cheating, so I was saying you can't hold these animals as examples because, while they stay together for life they are not monogamous.
But then even if they do, whats wrong in it as it is a purely physical urge? I admit, sexuality in animals cannot be compared at all to humans. Even though, such attitudes are shown by some males when a person goes for a 'Wham! Wham! Bang! Bang!, Thank you, ma'am' relief.
Quality of enjoying sex as a medium of love was not bestowed on anyother living creature other than homo sapiens, but then give those animals/birds some credit as they stick to a single mate in their short life span and in their limited understanding. This was my point.
To mate means to sacrifice, share, love; time and effort!
animals (cheating case); human race is much more wiser and superior to animals and required to behave in a civilsed manner.
Yes, I agree that sometimes when an individual commits a crime, he/she behaves like an animal! That's the reason we called criminals as anti-social elements.
Yes bijou they "Mate" for life, which means that they raise "their" children together but its a misconception that they only have sexual intercourse with their mate, "cheating" is rampent.
Generally, everybody learns from his/her own experience & mistakes and see the whole human race from the similar frame/angle.
Only a few visionary and intellectual could see the world from a wider angle or macro level considering the global community and their age old cultures, traditions, family-set up, etc; which plays a major role in shaping an individual's life style, attitude and even thought process. These makes a person conservative or open minded.
Call a cockerel a sexual opportunist, but give some credit to birds like pigeons, saryu cranes, love birds that stick to one partner in a life time, though even if no one is guarding them from approaching other females in their groups !
To all those who are happily partnered and have posted threads, above I ask; "Would anyone (male/female) stand out and say that they never cheated in their thoughts too?".
Animals? Some of them keep many females in their group while birds such as love birds and some cranes pine themselves to death once their partner die.
As for me, the ezine article pretty well sums it all; but I ain't looking for an excuse to cheat, nor I am going to justify myself in case I cheat.
agree with keith brown, they cheat because they cannot get the feeling that the other spouse used to give them. because by time some people changes and sometime because the chemistry is gone.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand
I've seen over and overand over again, in the years, aisha.
If it was only as simple as what you believe, there would be so much less heartache in the world. i know of too many good people, both men and women who have been hurt in this manner and trust me..they've given their entire lives to their spouse. Breaks your heart...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I don't know dear.. I just feel that life(God) gives us what we expect .. Maybe some women put the cheating thing as an option.. in the back of their mind.. ( Unless their men are cheaters already)
Panda, I'm sorry I didn't notice the second article about the cheatin women.. I though it was all about the cheating men thats why I posted the reply on men only.
I agreed with you up until you got the the part that if you are confident then he won't cheat on you...sorry sweetie...that's not true...some people are just cheaters and are quite good actors. It takes TWO to make a relationship, not just the wife. Those men in the beginning, are NOT cheaters, but become them when something they want, walks by. Its not that women actually choose to marry them....they are mislead. Not much you can do about that except take your pride in hand, decide what you can or can't live with, and move on.
Your comment that believing in yourself and your morals works for YOU...but can't do much for your spouse in the cheating department..again, the spouse has to have the same attitude as you do on cheating.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
If a decent man (((((loves))))) his wife so much he will never hurt her by CHEATING on her... He wont be capable of living with that huge guilt..
CHEATING is bad, many people just won't go there..
It has to do with being wise and seeing the big picture.. Many people are wise..
If you were confident and truly believe that you are enough for your man and that you deserve a faithful spouse you'll act upon it and he'll receive that energy from you..
Yes some men can't help it, some are cheating materials.. Why would you get involved with them in the first place?
Just believe in yourselves and your morals.. Then, being cheated on is not an option.
Life is still okay and there are many faithful people around. In order to attract one, be one..in all aspects.
I think the root of cheating is simply that one or the other is looking for something that they are not getting in their relationship. Men who cheat with someone who is not as goodlooking as their wives may do so because there is a lack of respect in the relationship for instance, or a woman may cheat because she doesnt get the emotional support she may need and want . Communication between couples is paramount.
this also was my question...repeatedly asking myself the "why"...but i guess nothing can really answer it.. it's a matter of making someone secure again to ignore and forget the "why"...
sigh....
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
that's because too many people go INTO marriage with the attitude that if it doesn't work out, they can always get divorced...nothing like setting yourself up for failure before you've begun.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
to let men off the hook for cheating...its not even true.
Men AND women cheat...just for different reasons. Just to give men a way out and say its because its genetically engineered into them is a bunch of horse hocky...Women have extremely strong sexual drives as well as men.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
hi gypsy, i beg to differ. people are meant to stay together for many many years. my folks are celebrating their 50 years of wedding in April, and they will share the rest of their lives together.
it's different from saying that people DON'T WANT to put up with each other for many many years. nowadays, people rarely work hard to make a relationship last.
In the latest tale of mice and men, researchers are finding a correlation between genes of cheating voles, or mouse-like rodents, and those of men who cheat on their mates.
The gene variant is present in 2 out of every 5 men and if you have it, the study shows you're more likely to be prone to marital dysfunction and a threat of divorce. If you have two copies of the gene variant or allele, you're twice as likely.
The allele studied by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm regulates the activity of a hormone in the brain and can affect a man's attitudes toward fidelity and monogamy.
If a man lacks the gene variant they're more likely to be a devoted mate.
Pat Brawley says "do I believe that that could be true. It certainly could be but I'd have to see a lot more proof."
Kevin Goldsmith says "I think it all has to do with your morals and integrity."
More than 1,000 heterosexual couples were studied. The scientists looked at men because the hormone is known to play a larger role in their brains than in women's brains.
Buela Green says "a lot of men cheat, and women, but men do more cheating than the lady does."
We went to Purchase College to get two different professional views on the study.
Biology professor Lee Ehrman who has long studied behavior genetics called it hogwash.
Prof. Lee Ehrman says "and I would not have released this at all if I were in the PR department of the Karolinska."
This psychologist on the other hand was excited about the news.
Dr. Glenn Pollack says "it kept alive that ever famous nature versus nurture controversy which is one's personal experiences versus one's innate qualities."
Dr. Pollack sees the study as a positive tool for proactive marriage counseling though he warns with follow up studies and future publicity we could also see divorce attorneys using genetics as a defense.
The study found that the gene also seems to predict whether women describe their mates as close or distant, and whether the men are more likely to marry, or simply live with their mates.
only 10% of all humans are Honest and 10% are Dishonest.
Rest 80% are opportunist and circumstances made them to follow the path of honesty or dishonesty.
So we concluded that state should have stricter laws and controls (plus home rules and discipline) to make these 80% of humans to follow the path of honesty and keep them away from cheating (to create a moral society) rather following the path of hedonist.
Moral values were created originally to guarantee the survival of societies, too. Societies have changed, therefore moral values have to be changed. If they are to be accepted they must make sense.
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what is the biginning point to write about cheating is there any one here have life experince about cheating?
iwant more from you cuz just you write i remember. and more axplain.
Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said
, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!!!!"
Moral
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk
- PRICELESS
I will fight till finish with my conscience, if I meet a partly clad nymph with any or all of these:
-Long hair, shiny, whatever the complexion
-Nice smile, pleasant with pout of Angelina Jolie.
-Feminine walk/ hips that rock a bit with 34-24-36 figure
-Firmness everywhere
But then will think twice of fighting my religion.
I DONT CARE what my relgion says.. My consciousness doesnt allow it.
______________________________________________
Listen to Many..Speak to a few.
My religion says, its wrong even to think of cheating.
My religion does.
Shame on those who don't try their best to make a relationship work and justify themselves for cheating !!! Every religion teaches the values of relationships, rights of your partner ... I don't know why people don't read their books !!!!
Every religion tells you in one way or the other, that divorce is not good, it is the last thing if nothing else is helping !!!
And their is no space for cheating anyways !!! So you are at sin if you are cheating... think about it.
And yes, regarding those unmarried relationships (before marriage, lovers etc), they are meant to be a disaster as they are not right at the first place .... study your religion, no religion allows relationship before marriage !!
Adeel Ali
That could be it too.
Gypsy or maybe she is cheating herself and she does'nt care..
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
I can't imagine any woman who wouldn't feel cheated on if her husband took another wife....unless she's a lesbian and doesn't care.
how they take it. Like Gypsy given her views. I always surprised what are the feelings of 2...4 wives in such cases and how they take it?
This thread will further go down from Cheating to polygamy in Islam and need to refer to Islam online website, to see the justification/fatwas given by religious scholars on the subject matter.
Never understand why does one have to take a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife and for what?
acccording to the article above, either he is lonely (which is he not), he is sad (which he may not be) low estemm (hmmm).
Then why is it that he needs another woman? If this to prove and show like saying you have one land Cruiser and I have 3?
Never could understand how a man can treat more than woman the same.. impossible..
In the case of a wife and a mistress.. both get treated differently...
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
To me UKEng,yes, taking a 2nd, 3rd, 4th wife is cheating on the 1st wife. Just cause you have someone say a couple of words doesn't make it any less a violation of your commitment and respect to the 1st wife.
So the one million dollar question is why does man need a second, third or fourth wife.. Is that not cheating to his first wife..
VB you right polgamy is legal already..
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
Else you may have to do without clothes, if you are female you should necessarily hang around the male with strongest clout, along with other females. LOL.
Satisfying a physical impulse is any living beings need, but then how you satisfy (with/without anothers help. LOL) and sticking to ones committment is to be a human being living in a society.
Strive for higher moral standards by imitating others (human/animal), this is the essence of humanity.
legal polygamy...
Cheating is human created. I'm simply pointing out animals are not monogamous. So why should we be?
"Cheating" is created by us.
How come; A person married to more than one partner does not cheat, while a person who tries a paid/offered encounter is a cheat?
I do give them credit, however this topic is about cheating, so I was saying you can't hold these animals as examples because, while they stay together for life they are not monogamous.
human and animals;
Human knows very well how to curb and control their natural instincts and foul urges....why cheat when
there are legal ways to satisfy once need?
But then even if they do, whats wrong in it as it is a purely physical urge? I admit, sexuality in animals cannot be compared at all to humans. Even though, such attitudes are shown by some males when a person goes for a 'Wham! Wham! Bang! Bang!, Thank you, ma'am' relief.
Quality of enjoying sex as a medium of love was not bestowed on anyother living creature other than homo sapiens, but then give those animals/birds some credit as they stick to a single mate in their short life span and in their limited understanding. This was my point.
To mate means to sacrifice, share, love; time and effort!
Because like it or not we to possess human instincts and urges. Sexual being the strongest.
animals (cheating case); human race is much more wiser and superior to animals and required to behave in a civilsed manner.
Yes, I agree that sometimes when an individual commits a crime, he/she behaves like an animal! That's the reason we called criminals as anti-social elements.
Yes bijou they "Mate" for life, which means that they raise "their" children together but its a misconception that they only have sexual intercourse with their mate, "cheating" is rampent.
I'll summarize it as 'Men who cheat are chickens'.
Generally, everybody learns from his/her own experience & mistakes and see the whole human race from the similar frame/angle.
Only a few visionary and intellectual could see the world from a wider angle or macro level considering the global community and their age old cultures, traditions, family-set up, etc; which plays a major role in shaping an individual's life style, attitude and even thought process. These makes a person conservative or open minded.
Some judge people and describe life based on their personal experiences and generalise the whole human race.
______________________________________________
Listen to Many..Speak to a few.
STOP HIJACKING GUYS!!!!!!
Its more about keeping gypsy occupied that there is no time to start an argument nor any sleep, but then it takes the right PAIR of hands. lol.
I scoot!
Without question Gypsy needs to rest in the right arms but sleep althrough? its to be seen...
No offense, gypsy!
Call a cockerel a sexual opportunist, but give some credit to birds like pigeons, saryu cranes, love birds that stick to one partner in a life time, though even if no one is guarding them from approaching other females in their groups !
Bijoy, while these animals may partner for life and die when they're mate dies, they are usually not monogamous. Animals are sexual opportunists.
I think people cheat on one another 'cause:
They've "lost that lovin' feelin'...
Oh, that lovin' feelin'
'Cause it's gone, gone, gone and
can't go on,,,Oh,oh,oh"
BUT the culture, tradition, education, family set up and society plays a larger role in modifying or killing the moral values..
To all those who are happily partnered and have posted threads, above I ask; "Would anyone (male/female) stand out and say that they never cheated in their thoughts too?".
Animals? Some of them keep many females in their group while birds such as love birds and some cranes pine themselves to death once their partner die.
As for me, the ezine article pretty well sums it all; but I ain't looking for an excuse to cheat, nor I am going to justify myself in case I cheat.
Gosh you convinced me awwwwwwww noooo
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
agree with keith brown, they cheat because they cannot get the feeling that the other spouse used to give them. because by time some people changes and sometime because the chemistry is gone.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand
I've seen over and overand over again, in the years, aisha.
If it was only as simple as what you believe, there would be so much less heartache in the world. i know of too many good people, both men and women who have been hurt in this manner and trust me..they've given their entire lives to their spouse. Breaks your heart...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I don't know dear.. I just feel that life(God) gives us what we expect .. Maybe some women put the cheating thing as an option.. in the back of their mind.. ( Unless their men are cheaters already)
Panda, I'm sorry I didn't notice the second article about the cheatin women.. I though it was all about the cheating men thats why I posted the reply on men only.
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
not all men cheat with women...
Cheaters are in both genders...so when you chose a spouse, chose wisely...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I agreed with you up until you got the the part that if you are confident then he won't cheat on you...sorry sweetie...that's not true...some people are just cheaters and are quite good actors. It takes TWO to make a relationship, not just the wife. Those men in the beginning, are NOT cheaters, but become them when something they want, walks by. Its not that women actually choose to marry them....they are mislead. Not much you can do about that except take your pride in hand, decide what you can or can't live with, and move on.
Your comment that believing in yourself and your morals works for YOU...but can't do much for your spouse in the cheating department..again, the spouse has to have the same attitude as you do on cheating.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
When a MAN cheats, he does it with a WOMAN..
SO we can't say that men cheat more lol what about the partner of crime
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
Amen :)
Many men don't cheat..
I know lots of happy stories..
If a decent man (((((loves))))) his wife so much he will never hurt her by CHEATING on her... He wont be capable of living with that huge guilt..
CHEATING is bad, many people just won't go there..
It has to do with being wise and seeing the big picture.. Many people are wise..
If you were confident and truly believe that you are enough for your man and that you deserve a faithful spouse you'll act upon it and he'll receive that energy from you..
Yes some men can't help it, some are cheating materials.. Why would you get involved with them in the first place?
Just believe in yourselves and your morals.. Then, being cheated on is not an option.
Life is still okay and there are many faithful people around. In order to attract one, be one..in all aspects.
I really believe in that.
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
Scarlett....quite true.
As said earlier, both the parties to work hard to build up and maintain the relationship for its lasting.
Shall I post a small list of Do's and Don't to keep your Wife love 100% guaranteed?
I think the root of cheating is simply that one or the other is looking for something that they are not getting in their relationship. Men who cheat with someone who is not as goodlooking as their wives may do so because there is a lack of respect in the relationship for instance, or a woman may cheat because she doesnt get the emotional support she may need and want . Communication between couples is paramount.
this also was my question...repeatedly asking myself the "why"...but i guess nothing can really answer it.. it's a matter of making someone secure again to ignore and forget the "why"...
sigh....
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
that's because too many people go INTO marriage with the attitude that if it doesn't work out, they can always get divorced...nothing like setting yourself up for failure before you've begun.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
to let men off the hook for cheating...its not even true.
Men AND women cheat...just for different reasons. Just to give men a way out and say its because its genetically engineered into them is a bunch of horse hocky...Women have extremely strong sexual drives as well as men.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
gets bored when she sees me
ah what an awful man he is :P
hi gypsy, i beg to differ. people are meant to stay together for many many years. my folks are celebrating their 50 years of wedding in April, and they will share the rest of their lives together.
it's different from saying that people DON'T WANT to put up with each other for many many years. nowadays, people rarely work hard to make a relationship last.
you get bored during a day....
.
.why?
.
tumim said what is cheating ?
People cheat because they get bored with their current relationship. People aren't meant to spend 50 and 60 years together.
whatever the reasons are for cheating, it is wrong, everybody gets hurt in the end.
Not all men cheat and women cheat too..
i like this MD fellow, always sharp and logical.
In the latest tale of mice and men, researchers are finding a correlation between genes of cheating voles, or mouse-like rodents, and those of men who cheat on their mates.
The gene variant is present in 2 out of every 5 men and if you have it, the study shows you're more likely to be prone to marital dysfunction and a threat of divorce. If you have two copies of the gene variant or allele, you're twice as likely.
The allele studied by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm regulates the activity of a hormone in the brain and can affect a man's attitudes toward fidelity and monogamy.
If a man lacks the gene variant they're more likely to be a devoted mate.
Pat Brawley says "do I believe that that could be true. It certainly could be but I'd have to see a lot more proof."
Kevin Goldsmith says "I think it all has to do with your morals and integrity."
More than 1,000 heterosexual couples were studied. The scientists looked at men because the hormone is known to play a larger role in their brains than in women's brains.
Buela Green says "a lot of men cheat, and women, but men do more cheating than the lady does."
We went to Purchase College to get two different professional views on the study.
Biology professor Lee Ehrman who has long studied behavior genetics called it hogwash.
Prof. Lee Ehrman says "and I would not have released this at all if I were in the PR department of the Karolinska."
This psychologist on the other hand was excited about the news.
Dr. Glenn Pollack says "it kept alive that ever famous nature versus nurture controversy which is one's personal experiences versus one's innate qualities."
Dr. Pollack sees the study as a positive tool for proactive marriage counseling though he warns with follow up studies and future publicity we could also see divorce attorneys using genetics as a defense.
The study found that the gene also seems to predict whether women describe their mates as close or distant, and whether the men are more likely to marry, or simply live with their mates.
source: http://www.toledoonthemove.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=184703
only 10% of all humans are Honest and 10% are Dishonest.
Rest 80% are opportunist and circumstances made them to follow the path of honesty or dishonesty.
So we concluded that state should have stricter laws and controls (plus home rules and discipline) to make these 80% of humans to follow the path of honesty and keep them away from cheating (to create a moral society) rather following the path of hedonist.
If chimapanzees cheat too, it can be only in the genes! Or do you think chimps break moral values?
Because they watch cheaters on reality TV
of all backgrounds, cheat.
it is not a decaying of moral values as this assumes a starting point when men did not cheat.
christians cheat. muslims cheat. jews cheat.
some men will never cheat, many will.
women cheat too. i heard of study that estimated that 10% of babies from married couples were not fathered by the husband.
some chimpanzees cheat too.
___________________________________________
"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I
Moral values were created originally to guarantee the survival of societies, too. Societies have changed, therefore moral values have to be changed. If they are to be accepted they must make sense.
I don't even believe you, panda.
MD, do you beleive in evolution theory?
It's in their genes. It's the result of millions of years of evolution. It is meant to guarantee the survival of the species.