Please dont ignore me at the schoolgate

englishman
By englishman

My family arrived in Qatar over the summer. My children are at one of the big name english international schools. Every day I drop them off and everyday I pick them up. I don't work, so I hang around, there are groups of chattering mothers, some of whom have organised coffee mornings and events for new parents. None of them every talk to me and I have never been invited to anything. I am left there standing on my own. I tried approaching one of the groups and there was immediate silence and embarrasing looks.

Why am I treated like this........ I can only guess its because I'm a man ( my wifes the one who works).Please school mothers think about me

By anonymous• 15 Dec 2011 13:34
anonymous

Being a stay-at-home Daddy it’s a profession, you will require basic accountancy and math background to figure out the cost of each, individual diaper...0_o!

By anonymous• 15 Dec 2011 12:57
anonymous

Keep trying mate, the mother of my child ignores me all the time but it's been almost ten years and we're still married.

By timebandit• 13 Dec 2011 08:12
timebandit

Is this the sort of stuff discussed at mothers coffee mornings? If so I would be glad to be excluded.

By simonsmithy• 13 Dec 2011 06:31
simonsmithy

But what sort of example does a supposedly educated stay at home mother give to any daughters she might have. It might suggest that they dont have to bother to work because they can always rely on their husband to work. OK it might work in expat-land but not in places like the UK

By shalla• 12 Dec 2011 14:02
shalla

What i mean - that it is no one's business if a wife or a husband working/not working. If the family decided like that - this is what convenient for them. Plus, let's be honest, most of us working not because we like to work, but because we need to work - we have to eat, pay loans and put kids through school. And, let's be honest, lot's of us are jealous of people who have more money then us, got better car, and do not need to work . But this is normal - this is human nature))) I know very well what working ledies say about these who stay home)))) but what if that a lady just does not need to work? It is good if you got your own business and you love what you do - this is yours. But if you work for some one - this is need. So what is wrong, if some people do not have a need for a working wife? Isn't it better to have some hobbies, spend your time as you wish and just enjoy life and children ( who are not with nanny all day long, because mammy is at work 9--6)??

By anonymous• 12 Dec 2011 07:59
anonymous

Shalla,

"Do you know the reason why this woman is not working? And anyway - that's not of your business if she does or not. Taking care of children it is a job."

...By this do you mean the OP, if so that's not a Lady, it's a Gentleman Homemaker.

Read more: http://www.qatarliving.com/node/2346017#ixzz1gIFbStIB

By shalla• 12 Dec 2011 07:30
shalla

Luck of communication skills, i guess)))))) Come on, all people have their likes and dislikes! Find your own " circle of trust"!!!! Plus these moms are really boring - endless coffees, book clubs, blah, blah... However i disagree that only dissent women go to work. So, all of these who are not working - they are not dissent people? I never could understand how one can judge the other one without knowing the person? Do you know the reason why this woman is not working? And anyway - that's not of your business if she does or not. Taking care of children it is a job. And going to work every morning does not make one person dissent, does it?

Any way - Better hit the gym and sing up to martial art , i am sure you will find some friends there.

By Minoush• 7 Dec 2011 11:55
Minoush

Come to ASD, us Yanks will take you!

Don't bother with that particular "mums" group. They ignored me, too. I felt like I was back in high school again- not fun

By s_isale• 7 Dec 2011 06:54
s_isale

looks like theres a frustrated lot out here at QL.....

By simonsmithy• 7 Dec 2011 06:46
simonsmithy

These saddo women dont have the skills to get a proper job in Qatar ( the sort of thing they do is done by phillipino or other immigrant workers). The decents ones get jobs as doctors, teachers and the like.

The highlight of their sad days is getting to the school gate early for a gossip.

By AsinineThinker• 5 Dec 2011 01:50
AsinineThinker

I dont know whether to laugh or cry. I would just make a smug noise through my nose with a healthy derision for the time being.

By edifis• 4 Dec 2011 23:51
edifis

Agree with Tcom.....you should take up knitting as a pastime!

By General• 4 Dec 2011 20:06
General

Your family arrived or your wife's family arrived?

By General• 4 Dec 2011 20:05
General

Your family arrived or your wife's family arrived?

By nomerci• 4 Dec 2011 18:25
nomerci

Englishman, and you should post here www.expatwoman.com, to guide your message to the right ears....QL is much too "low class" for those "ladies".

By Xena• 4 Dec 2011 15:56
Xena

I know far to many of them with too much time on their hands!!!

By jjj75• 4 Dec 2011 15:53
jjj75

In UAE - Jameirah Janes...

By FathimaH• 4 Dec 2011 15:29
FathimaH

NM you come up with the best of tags..very innovative =D

By nomerci• 4 Dec 2011 15:06
nomerci

Sorry my friend, but it happens to women too, trust me ....rather strange bunch of Al Waab Wandas out there...;)

By Lady in black• 4 Dec 2011 15:01
Lady in black

Sorry englishman about your situation but the way u have expressed your feelings...I can't stop laughing :D

By jjj75• 4 Dec 2011 11:32
jjj75

E/Man

I feel for you, after having a baby and before I returned to work, I went to a few of the 'all welcome' Doha mums coffee mornings.

I have to say, even after I had made the effort to attend, made the effort to get to know people, tried talking to some of them, it was not a particularly friendly outing - this happened on more than one occasion, just seemed like a bunch of friends who did not welcome 'outsiders' joining the group, no matter that they advertised it as anyone welcome on their website. The pervading attitute was - I know everyone here, I cannot be bothered to get to know someone new and any attempt I made at conversation were met with brief answers then swiftly ignored. I gave up in the end (every time I went, I was greeted with 'please give us your email address as a new member' - I felt like saying, I have been a least 4 x now, when will you remember this and update your database properly).

Sorry, I feel for you, I really do but welcome to the insular cliquey world that are expat wives.

phew glad I finally got that off my chest at last

By damselindistress• 4 Dec 2011 11:07
damselindistress

Brit- Invite the OP to create your own group.... Doha Dud(e)s Coffee evenings :))

Nothing wrong being a houseband :)

By gtrman• 4 Dec 2011 10:15
gtrman

ahh man......a stay at home dad..trying to get into the girls club...hah!!!

try getting a cuban.....jus like postman pat here....tht will make ya busy....har har!!!

By FathimaH• 4 Dec 2011 10:13
FathimaH

That pic was just too good..perfect depiction!

To the OP: You are probably a novelty to the mums around there hence they didn't know how to react. The funny thing is the school my daughter attends hardly has mothers coming to pick or drop their kids hence when I occasionally go to pick up my girl and I get there early, I'm the odd one out with all the dads around and need to stand there awkwardly..not that its an invitation for them to talk to me as I cherish being ignored in this case!!

By shaheka143• 4 Dec 2011 10:05
shaheka143

hi englishman,

sorry to hear that. here qatar has some reserved thinking. dont worry. even though i dot have my daughter studying in the school you mentioned, you can come down to my office and have a cup of tea. that how we make friends.

welcome to qatar.

PM me for my mobile number. :)....

By britexpat• 4 Dec 2011 09:28
britexpat

I feel your pain. I too was ignored when trying to attend the Doha Mums Coffee mornings ....

The mental scars will take long to disappear :O(

By eliashamzo• 4 Dec 2011 09:19
eliashamzo

LOL

By mariecor• 4 Dec 2011 09:19
mariecor

You better set up a group for non-working husbands...who knows you find somebody like you.

By Rizks• 4 Dec 2011 09:01
Rizks

might be those chattering mother's mother told them to 'Not to Talk To The Strangers' ? :(

By anonymous• 4 Dec 2011 08:52
anonymous

I think, you should have talked to them when they fell silent. They were waiting for you to entertain them, and you failed miserably!

By t_coffee_or_me• 4 Dec 2011 08:49
t_coffee_or_me

Take up knitting as a hobby.

By flor1212• 4 Dec 2011 08:46
flor1212

form your own group at the gate! lol!

By damselindistress• 4 Dec 2011 08:43
damselindistress

LoL at TB

OP- Could be those mothers are trying to avoid some rumors/gossip., some people are maliscious especially here in Qatar, when they see a man and a woman together they start thinking that those 2 were sleeping together..... what more with loads of mother... an orgy perhaps? :P

Cheer up! Bring a book or newspaper with you and mind your own business :) :P

By timebandit• 4 Dec 2011 08:28
timebandit

Try wearing a dress and put some makeup on

By s_isale• 4 Dec 2011 08:23
s_isale

try to do something else....

By ghazalz• 4 Dec 2011 08:21
ghazalz

:)

All I could depict your situation --->

By seasons• 4 Dec 2011 08:16
seasons

Hahaha!! Welcome to Qatar :)

By Prism• 4 Dec 2011 07:22
Prism

U guessed it right...:)

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