How do you deal with your partner's JEALOUSY? How do you cope/overcome your own jealousy?
By azilana7037 •
One of the most frustrating relationship problems happens when your partner becomes jealous--especially when you've done nothing in your mind to deserve the jealousy. You may try reassuring your partner over and over but they never seem to trust you. You may even eventually withdraw from doing things that you love for fear that your partner will get the wrong idea or feel insecure.
But if you’re the one who’s jealous, it sound and feel torture, right?
My partner is more educated than me and is a through professional at work. It has always only given me the spirit to challenge her and compete with her and become better than her. No point in being jealous here. She's mine afterall. :)
I honestly believe jealousy is a wasted emotion. The person is going to do whatever they are going to do anyways. Being jealous is only going to do one thing and that is push them further away from you.
I think I do....maybe not...WTH...let it be....hehehehe
tell me you did plzzz?:D
But wait...I'm still deciphering it....(oh brother!) ;-(((
my friends let them be jealous , do your job ,you feel something they feel something it all depend on peoples own interest thats why we are human, if one dream ,one life then we will be animal , so be practical , after all you are you , she is she , no one can assume others intrest
really ,..im not a rocker ,.and i dont read much ,...
sometimes ,..i prefer KUNDIMAN ,... hehehe,.... and cha cha ,...
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
whats the points for ,... convertible into CASH? ,..heheheh
i have it ,... but we might have some O.T. ,... maybe around 6:30 to 7 pm ,.. ok? ,.. see yuh
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
Alex de sua ..anagram of axel rose Don't tell me this is news to you.
seal- kiss from a rose
anagram? ,..hmmm ,.sounds new to my ear ,...
i believe i can fly ,.. am i right @ carmina
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
trying to gain points, huh?
hey mammoo dont forget the usb this pm? see ya!
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
sorry censored x xx xxx xxxxxxxx xx xxx xxxx!
;)))))
remember the face? how about the song? LOL
Axl Rose" is an anagram of "Oral Sex", but it is unknown whether this is intentional or not.
He is my ex:D
but i'm allergic to him now!
sorry ,.. yeah,... maybe ur right ,..m not really sure ,... i just remember the face ,..harharhar ,.. @ carmina
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
Alexdesua, you meant SEAL?
You are welcome man. Mabuti naman, Salamat. I was just trying to find someone to sing for, hehehehe
Ingat ,....
tamam ,..masbut tulala ,...
yeah ,... to me every thread is right ,... it makes this world really colorfull ,...
axel rose is history man ,... a memorable one ,..
hope 2 hear from STING/ZEAL,... thats ur vocal range boss edshel go for it ,...
s o o n !
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
How are you doing my friend? How was your day .. Maganda? Looks like everyone is interested into this Jealousy topic. When would be the next gathering ..wanna hear 'Axl Rose' singing again :)
Ingat
in her entire life, it is a part of human nature. The best is you SHOULD know how to dealth with this "ugly" stuff. Specially for those are married, you cannot avoid to be jealous in anything may it be work, friends, family, 3rd party or even hobbies.
Yeah, it is NOT healthy... but do you think you can avoid that? I dont think so.
For me, I felt jealous but not at all times (to my husband, parents, siblings, friends and other people whom I value most) and when JEALOUSY comes to me.. I just keep it unspoken..then suddenly it will subside in due time... heheehehe but not at all times that i am silent!
""Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.-by Franklin D. Roosevelt""
Even a healthy relationship goes through some process of adjustment and changes ,…. Sickness (as we refer here as JEALOUSY) is eminent to all of us ,… it’s the natures way to BALANCE and CYCLE ,..
U just cant simply say ,… i am healthy , I don’t get SICK
Good morning to all ,…
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Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
Goooooood Morning Eveyerone!
See what I mean Gypsy, there was jealousy only when something went wrong in the relationship, but when it was a healthy relationship there was no jealousy. That goes back to my point, that in a healthy relationship there should be no jealousy.
There is nothing wrong to feel jealous if it is on a right place and a right time. But one thing, anything TOO MUCH is TOXIC.
I don't think jealousy is entirely about low self esteem, sometimes feeling jealous if your partner is talking to another girl or talking about another girl is a sign that something has gone wrong in your relationship.
I was with my ex fiancee for 6 years and never felt jealous till near the end when he started hanging out with, and talking about this other girl all the time. He'd always had girlfriends and I never thought twice about them, but this one seemed different. As it turns out my jealousy was well founded cause he was cheating on me. :P
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Thank you azzilana for opening a thread about me.
Kumusta po kayo lahat?
CYman,
I agree with you but not a 100% actually the loving feeling is still there but it SPICE up the relationship into a DEEPER KNOWING and LOVING....let's take the case of a woman if she got jealous the first thing in her mind is WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? so she will take a second look in the mirror try to assess herself and she will rediscover herself become innovative and have some sort of changes...well for a man he will be more attentive to her needs then both of you are talking about your feelings... just a SPICE don't overdose JEALOUSY it is a POISON
majh
The man sometimes would be feeling jealous for a woman who loves her,even if she does not love him. While the woman would feel jealous for a man who loves her, even if she does not love him.
The most beautiful kind of jealousy is the 'Love Jealousy' while the worst is the 'Grudge Jealousy' ... and the rest will be tomorrow I'm so sleeepy now.
Goodnight everyone ... ignat
continue please!
That is what I'm talking about, starting the 'Fourth World War' in the name of jealousy would never solve anything :D
Sometimes you would be surprised when you see his girl breaking a cup or a bottle on his head instead of fighting the the real reason. He might be also the reason, but get rid of her and let him be yours again. Don't punish the poor guy for something that he did not.
Jealousy is not about fighting it got a lot of meaning. Do you really want me to start talking about it?
What I can say is , Jealousy is not about love most of the time, it is about dignity. When the woman get jealous she cries and hate the man. When the man get jealous he keeps quiet, hate himself for that.
Should I continue?
if i am her man, i would leave both of them, Alatul!
a good lady is one who can control her anger and emotions in public.
but wait till we reached home and see what i'll do? Lol!
kicking and scratching w/ other lady? it's NOT jealousy! its stupidity on her side, lol!
Well it is like Cornellian said, men like being in the center of attention. Feel that his wife or girl would fight for him if she felt that someone else is trying to threaten her throne. It depends on the partner sometimes herself, some will be just fine with that while the others won't. I never experienced something like that before, but I won't be enjoying watching this action movie.
I won't get my coke and popcorn to watch my girl and the other one kicking each other, grabbing each other hair and scratching each other face like the cats. Some will enjoy this, but I won't .. it is enough to know that she love me and care about it me. Putting her for such a test would be meaningless.
most of the time "men" are always blamed to all the negativity that could arise in a relationship?
Cheers!
"I know how and when to say "Please", "Sorry", & "Thank You"
then, moderate jealousy is very healthy and spiced up the relationship?
MEN DO LOVE THE ATTENTION...lol
cause they like getting the attention and feeling important...men men men! hehe
That could tell us why they seem to enjoy their ladies getting jealous???
Relation without some jealousy, is like the Salad without salt. You can still eat the salad without the salt, but you feel that there should be some. Not too much or it would be impossible for you to eat too. Everything is good with limitations and with descent amounts.
Too less is bad as well as too much is not good too. Try to establish a balance to your life equation. What works good for you won't work for the others, what works for the others should not work for you.
man seems like to see their partner jealous,why?
any man here to enlight us?
Such a strong word...considered one of 7 Deadly Sins...don't want it but it happens...
Spice up of a relationship...like Alexdesua said, part of the recipe of love..too much too spicy, none at all, relationship blands...what to do? what to do?...
Like Karin says...live with it, adopt and adjust...
I think singlehood is still a good blessing, what do you think, Corne dearie?...lol
Healthy and Unhealthy jealous depends on type of relationship.
If lets say you are jealous from your neighbor because he got new car, then that's unhealthy? But if you feel jealous from your man because he is smiling to a pretty lady then that's Healthy?
I get what u guys are talking about, the asking about where u've been and with who makes u appreciate ur partner more and make u realize that he/she cares. But what ur talking about is not jealousy, it's called love, being concerned and protective, and that's totally normal. Jealousy, on the other hand, isn't. Jealousy is calling ur partner every hour cause u think he/she is having an affair, jealousy is that u get suspecious everytime he/she gets a phone call, u dont trust who and where they're going. That's jealousy. And it can be a terrible beast.
i am asking if its normal for us to get jealous? if yes! then it is really part of a relationship.
life will not be unbalanced without jealousy. And trust will not follow after jealousy, trust will be gone after jealousy.
I agree with apple... jealousy sometimes spiced up the relationship, few questions about who is that person, then a moment of silence.. then the sweetness follows. It makes you sometimes value your partner more for afraid of losing him/her.
But jealousy which makes you down, uncomfortably scared, and often results in big fights and big arguments is not healthy anymore. You need to assess the cause of the problem and resolve it immediately.
Too much confidence can sometimes caught you off guard. Better stay quiet but be alert. Lets face it, temptation is everywhere.
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**PEACE AND BE COOL**
Hmm, sounds interesting!
what are those alex? please tell me?
Life will be unbalance with out JEALOUSY , . . . . . its part of the whole recipe of LOVE ,..
Just plain heart to heart talk is enough ,…... ask everything u want to know ,..trust will then follow
Failing to plan is, . . . . . . . planning to fail.
How is it part of the relationship? It makes a person feel insecure and lowers their self esteem and irritates the other partner, so how does it help ?
Jealousy is part of a relationship. Just as the song you sang (remember) says:
"Impossible to live with you but I could never live without you.
For WHATEVER YOU DO, I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you." :)
I think jealousy is unhealthy, if it's a healthy relationship built on trust and love then why should there be jealousy?
And azi, please don't think like that. Ur attractive and more interesting than alot of people i know! and if ur man was to look at anyone else he would be a fool!
or low self-esteem...shall we say, the jealous person sometimes feel less self-confidence that the partner might find him/her boring or unattractive...
I always feel like that but I don't show it...like I said, I just keep my mouth shut and just watch...
I wish to say those first line on you soon, insh'allah! :))
Is it normal to feel jealous?
Some people says its wrong, and i said its fine w/ limit.
What about you?
on the contrary my dear, I'm happy for u, u seem to have a wonderful marriage masha'Allah :-) But u see what I mean, it's not jealousy that spices up ur marriage, it's love and affection that does.
ha ha haa, see! now your jealous:D
I've been waiting all night for someone to argue with on QL and all I get is u giggling about ur cute marriage! lol jk
Well I don't think that u show much of jealousy, I think u only show him that u need some attention and care and that's why he shows u his thoughtfulness and u go on QL and giggle about it hehe.
Maybe i should say moderate jealousy?
Nye! WS? lol!
you know dear, sometimes i pretend that i'm jealous though i'm not (hey! i'm not talking about working relation here), so in return his thoughtfulness shows, then followed by his sweetness (giggle);))))
Sorry to disagree with u apple, but jealousy doesn't mean love. If I'm jealous from someone in my company cause he got promoted and I didn't, it doesn't mean I love him. If I'm jealous cause my bf talked to a girl, it doesn't mean I love him, it means that I don't trust him or I don't feel secure about our relationship. Why would we be jealous of our partners if we love them? If we love them then we only want them to be happy with or without us.
And jealousy doesn't spice up the relationship, wild sex does lol. Jealousy just creates discomfort, bottled up emotions and ultimately problems. I think there's a difference between being jealous and worrying about the person u love.
In a relation, i always advise my friends not to put a 100% trust to anyone. "Keep some reservation just in case!", as i always say.
As i said in my recent post, a relation w/o trust is useless. But a relation w/o jealous is dry.
Jealousy spice up the relationship, but a moderate one. Some people mean to make their partners jealous, (for them its one way to feel your love?),
In a positive side, jealousy means love.
But... "too much jealous is dangerous" Therefore, "too much love will kill you!"
:))))
Why would there be any jealousy in a healthy relationship? If it's healthy relationship then there should be complete trust between the two partners, if there's complete trust then there should be no jealousy whatsoever. Now there would be protectiveness, fearing for their wellbeing, and a partner in a good relationship would ask the other questions about where they're going, who with, etc. not because of jealousy but because of fear for their well-being and protectiveness. So I say there should be no jealousy in a healthy relationship. If u know that the other person loves u dearly and wouldn't do anything to hurt u and u trust them then there should be no problems at all, and if there was a problem then u can talk out cause at the end of the day u love eachother and that's what counts.
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.
William Shakespeare, "Othello", Act 3 scene 3
***The biggest risk in life, is not taking one!***
Give him something to be jealous of...
When you're down and confused, and you don't remember who you're talkin' to.. concentration slip away, cause your baby is so far away, well there's a rose in the fisted glove and eagle flies over you, when you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with.
-Steven Stills
get back to the topic coz i am feelin jealous :D
yea kinda got u mixed up with some 1 i think karin. ok
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Lets get back to the topic before Azzy bans the 3 of us on this thread...hehe
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you didnt see? i hid her inside the fridge. lol i think darude is mixing me up w/ someone else.
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huh?! baby girl?..now now now, i never saw any baby girl when we went to your place hmmmm, where did you hide her...lol
darude, she is a single lovely lady..:D
well, i am a second mother to all my nieces and nephews but dont have my own. do you know anyone who wants to be adopted? dogs or bear are welcome. lol
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Lol am i mistaken i heard some one some where around in some topic u had a baby girl. hmm donot know who was it. ok u are single then live single better. :)
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people actually replace the loving feeling with possessiveness. They can not accept that the relationship consists of two independent individuals who chose to share their lives but not to give away their characteristics.
The jealous person wants to dictate to his/her partner what to do and how to behave. On top of that, like an investigator demands full report of the partner's moves. It's just ridiculous. Anyone staying in such a relation simply downgrades him/her self
May the roof above us never fall in, and may the friends below never fall out!
Darude where do you get that wrong info hahaha! dahh your nose is failing you.
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However i couldnt agree more with darude, if you dont want a coplicated life just remain single hehe...no headaches, no jealousy, no complications, no quarrels, no nagging, no budgeting, no worries, no financial problem, but lonely (i speak for myself).
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too much apple now am gettin allergic to it.get me some strawberries or cherries plz quick.
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all of the above, it describes their relationship..and i already suggested dumping him, but the girl LOVES him..
I wish them all the luck..
you are married so forget about being a single now enjoy it have fun and chill and most of all tease every one :D
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honestly, i already told her of the risk..you see, the guy send a break up letter our of his "jealousy" with whatever to the girl, and she cannot bear that, thats why she is returning home to settle things out...
now with the question whether the relationship has a future?..i dont know with her, coz she is clingging to the fact that the guy loves her...whatever, im fed up with their fights, so i just go along with her decision..LDR is really difficult to handle specially if one is a super jealous..
the topic reminds me of my ex his theme song was Jealous guy (Beatles) no matter how much you love the person eventually you would give up to keep your sanity :-)
if im the one who was jealous, i would be silent for a while then i would need to tell him eventually sometimes in a teasing manner. being transparent helps a lot to clear the air.
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He is selfish to his girlfriend or He is insecure or He is not confident of himself that the girl dearly loved him. In short, either he dont trust himself or he dont trust his girlfriend!
Tell your friend to dump him :P
you say: "but then again, love prevails and now she submits to his request of going home...:("
Do you really believe that this relation has a future? And if it does, will both parties be happy. The boy is a sick person. He will always wake up at night with nightmares of his woman being with another man. I know a similar case back in Cyprus. His behavior actually pushed the woman to leave him. She couldn't handle the pressure and the complete lack of trust (without reason).
May the roof above us never fall in, and may the friends below never fall out!
Any relationship w/o trust is useless!
is one of the most common reasons that kill relationships. It is a sign of insecurity by the person who is practicing it. There is no such thing as "healthy" jealously. Either there is trust or there isn't. There is no room for fractions in this game guys and gals. Listen to an older buddy here
Cheers
May the roof above us never fall in, and may the friends below never fall out!
i got a story to share related to jealousy (sometimes synonymous with lack of trust)..i have a friend, she's now leaving Qatar and returning to Philippines, because her boyfriend is not satisfied with her daily report of her happenings here in Qatar.
He is jealous whenever he hears that she is going out with friends (even girl ones), he just doesn't want her to go out, and if she insists (oh big long distance fight), she has to tell him who was she with and where and the timings of her return..i mean how can you enjoy your life if you have a possessive/super jealous bf?...but then again, love prevails and now she submits to his request of going home...:(
"Avoid doing yourself, what you wouldnt want your partner doing?"
Absolutely right!
esp in an LDR, avoid things that can upset your partner, becasue the entire base of an LDR is trust.
you are trying to build happiness in a relationship from a long distance.
in an LDR what i had noticed was that we just go ahead and live our lives whichever way we wanted to and assumed we are doing everything right, so why should our partner mind or be jealous, but if the same was reverse, and our partner was doing the exact same thing, then we get upset, jealous, and feel that we are being taken for granted.
so to balance it out, avoid doing yourself, what you wouldnt want your partner doing? does this make sense?
its very trivial yet important.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
That thread? Lol!
It became a big issue on QL and QBB, he heeee
and you & butterfly and who else? are mommy mafia! ;))))))
this is a human nature and i believe its there in everyone.
but some of us recognise it and let it control our lives and thus relationships. such kind of jealousy interferes with trust in a relationship.
while others recognise it and try to give other aspects of their relationship more importance than that fleeting moment or reason of jealousy.
a lot of it has to do with self esteem..
this is all a mind game and the mind plays all sorts of tricks.
dont pay attention to it, it can take you on its own roller coaster ride.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
I think a bit of jelousy it´s human nature. Whether we trust our partener or not, we feel that we have something precious, and its only too easy to feel jelous when we feel threaten.
The problem starts when jelousy gets out of control and obsesive. That means that there is an underlying problem with the person who suffers from it. If it ever happened to my partner, I would urge him to seek help.
we always go back to our first dicussion together on Ql, it always reminds of that entire thread.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
You're absolutely right HAN19. Jealousy implies lack of trust. Without trust it's impossible to have a meaningful relationship. That's what I think.
Woman are better at everything :p
they do or behave in different ways BUT NEVER ADMIT THEY"RE JEALOUS....
Women is better when hiding their jealousy (I think)....
I know where I stand in my MAN'S life...however, my MAN would question me non-stop until he's satisfied with nmy answer...
but he would never admit he's jealous....
My mistake. I stand corrected.
the topic has nothing to do with my LDR...
It is either he/she has hopeless low self esteem or you are really making something that makes him/her feels unrespected.
Open communication is good as mentioned. And always make your partner loved and respected not only for some times but for all times... simple.
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**PEACE AND BE COOL**
Stay Single alot more better and fun in life believe me i am enjoyin it alot.
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stay single.
maybe it means that he is selfish about you, as much as you are selfish about him...
some people can accomodate it, some cant. At the end of the day, the problem is how you make it out to be! Relax girl, there is nothing in this world that dialogue cant solve.
when he/she is jealous, does it mean he/she don't trust you...
luvhurts has a point there
I am a normal human being, and i dont say that i have not been jealous.
I have been jealous on occasions, but i always made it a point to talk it out with my partner whenever such a situation arose. 99 times out of 100, that was the end of it.
At the end of the day, i believe in giving my friends his/her own space. I have no issues on that.
My advice... if you think you have a jealous partner, there is no better way that a face-to-face heart-to-heart talk.
NOT by messenger.
NOT by phone.
NOT by mails.
NOT by text messages.
BUT by genuine talk. Believe me, it works.
darude stalks scorpion
ARE BONELESS :D
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I do get jealous sometimes, but I dont make a big issue of it. Its something I can handle. As long as he's not openly flirting with someone, i'm fine. And if my partner gets jealous, i just ask him if have given him any reason to be jealous. i ask what did i say or do that made him jealous.
My ex was terribly jealous with his friend and takes it out on me. after a few outbursts, i confronted him about it and told him that i think its unfair i get the end of it. Turned out later that he was the one cheating...
I don't have a jealous bone in my body and either does my partner.
The problem with jealousy is it eats away at people and makes them do crazy or dangerous things.
It depends on the level of jealousy... in moderation it is good. Sometimes I like when a man gets jealous (makes me feel he cares) but sometimes it feels really scary leaving me speechless.
I dont get jealous too much, but whenever i feel threatened, i challenge myself to be more loving... hahaha.. so he will feel more threatened.
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**PEACE AND BE COOL**
Azi, I’m not really a jealous person so I guess I don’t have the problem. On occasion I may experience the “healthy” type (that’s why I can understand and tolerate that ;) ) but that’s really some irrational wave and goes quickly. I just demand and give trust.
Dont give yor partner any reason to get jealous. Some people are just born to be jealous in nature, espcly woman. Jealousy can be due to selfishness, insecurity and most of the time a lack of self confident.
I rarely doubt on my partner, am pretty sure and confident who and where I am to him. But yes Jealousy with my previous relationship, consumed his mind and my patient and understanding. 4 years LDR ended up because of his own doubts and insecurities but we are still friends though!
Cheers!
"I know how and when to say "Please", "Sorry", & "Thank You"
I just look and and keep quiet...I don't know why but I rather watch and keep my peace.
Stupid huh???...
I know that I only feel jealous when I don't feel secure in the relationship. If things are going well then they can talk to whoever they'd like and I don't feel jealous, but if I sense we are drifting apart, then I I start to worry and get jealous if they seem to be talking to another girl too much.
As for my partners, I've never been with a jealous guy and I don't think I could be. Though it would be nice if they weren't so confident in me, a little jealousy makes you feel wanted. :P
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you cant let yourself get onto the jealous trip, it can ruin everything.sometimes you do feel pangs of jealousy, but its something that can really shake the foundation of the relationship.goes back to the trust factor.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
yep..withdrawing something/someone from your routine just because your partner is jealous, is awfully being selfish of your partner..and you intend to deprive your self and your world has become small to move from -- just to give way to his errr jealousy...not fair, i guess..and its not healthy for a relationship..
but with me, i am not a jealous type..i dont get easily jealous of someone..maybe with time, i mean if he is putting too much time on something that he would almost forgot my existence..then i would be jealous with that..
I don’t know Azi, jealousy honestly suffocates me. I can understand and tolerate a bit the “healthy” one, the type that makes you feel special, shows he cares and stuff but anything more than that would kill me!
At first, we find it amusing...but later on, it's a mental and emotional drain...
Mashallah with grace of Allah thanks to him for everything i have everything or i had everything one would wish for in life.
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you have something they don't....that's why they're jealous of you...
am never jealous with/from any one but many are from me i donot know why
:(
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I would never be able to cope with a partner who is too jealous, he wouldn’t be my partner for long.