The challenges of dating a married man

chinx_lady
By chinx_lady

If you're unfortunate enough to fall in love with a married man, turn and run the other way, just as fast as your legs can carry you. To continue down the path ahead is to walk willingly into a dark, murky swamp composed of little more than depression, heartbreak and futility. The longer you hesitate, the deeper you'll sink, the more mud is likely to cling to you, and the harder it will be to finally escape and move on.

Here are only a few of the many challenges and disadvantages you'll experience if you become entangled in a relationship with a man who has previously taken a solemn vow to love, honor and cherish another woman...

* You'll be alone on vacations, major holidays and most weekends. These are family times. You may think you're important to him, but face it, you're not family. They have a prior claim on his time and his loyalty.

* He may promise to be with you when the children are grown, or when his parents have passed on, or when his wife is strong enough to stand alone, but after all, he's a cheater and he's already lying to one woman. How can you possibly believe his promises?

* Your friends and family will be against this relationship, because they love you and want only the best for you. You will not be able to discuss matters with them, and they certainly won't be welcoming him into their inner circle.

* When you're out on the town, he'll frequently look over his shoulder, not wanting to been seen in your company. When you're alone together, he'll often check his watch, needing to be home before his wife gets suspicious. He'll never be able to relax completely. Hence, neither will you. Being #2 is not fun.

* What about those office Christmas parties, family birthdays, weddings, even funerals? You'll be attending these functions alone, with no visible partner to support you or keep you company. You'll be an object of pity and many will wonder what's wrong with you, and why you can't find a boyfriend.

* Life is short and youth is fleeting. You are wasting valuable time when you should be laying a firm foundation for a bright future with someone you can trust. Wake up and smell the coffee! You deserve so much better than this two-timer.

* To him, it's a fling, an enjoyable interlude in a marriage which is comfortable, but may have become routine. Stolen moments with you provide elements of thrill and danger to an otherwise humdrum existence.

* Even if he says he's ready to leave home and set up housekeeping with you, consider this: if Wife #1 couldn't trust him, why would you think Wife #2 would be able to? You'll just be taking on someone else's heartache. Seriously, who needs it?

* Most serious of all, if there are children involved, think of them. He may not be much, but he's their dad. Are you willing to be responsible for breaking up their family? If they're old enough to remember that he left their mother because of you, it will be difficult to become an effective stepparent.

These are only a few of the problems you'll encounter, if you allow youself to fall in love with a married man. Use your will power and your common sense and run, don't walk in the opposite direction as quickly as you can.

As the old adage states, "There's plenty of fish in the sea". Why waste your valuable time, attention and talent on the stale, second-hand junk variety, who was hooked by someone else years ago?

You deserve a much better future than he can offer you. Leave the swamp, move out into the sunshine and go after it!

By anonymous• 3 Dec 2009 08:43
anonymous

Good morning marie_2!

By marie_2• 3 Dec 2009 08:27
marie_2

khalid...the brain orders the heart to pump. It's also the seat of emotion (not the heart?):)

good morning to those who are in-love

...listen to the sound of silence....

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 15:36
anonymous

+++++++++++++++++++ END +++++++++++++++++++++

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 15:35
chinx_lady

your way of thinking is different from mine but i rather not choose to debate you...if you think this is crap then can't help it.it is how you understand...

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 15:29
anonymous

Thank you all

+++++++++++++ END +++++++++++++++++++++

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 15:29
chinx_lady

as you wish...keep on posting and have fun...i care not to debate you..its not my cup of tea anyway...:)

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 15:28
hashimozotoyama

I hope that our small "debate" has been interesting to all participants in the thread. I also hope that everyone has had a chance to look at this very interesting topic through the eyes of other cultures and has benefitted in some way. This manner of civilised debate can solve alot of problems between cultures/religions without resorting to prejudices and conflict which has become the unfortunate predominant outcome of most interreligious/intercultural debates.

I have to catch a plane so bye for now!

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 15:26
anonymous

If you dont care what people think, then why do you put this thread here? do you think others will care about your bllshit stpid advices? same thing goes back to you. Obviously all your advices turned to be invalid. I dont care about your stpid thread, but i care about not missleading other people. This is the only reason i entered to make sure you wont misslead more naive people

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 15:19
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

One more thing to add which is the difference between man and woman. Not the physical difference, but the psycholgyical/mental differences.

Ladies don't missunderstand me. It is not about intelligency and smartness. You are all smart!:)

This is an example of one difference: Men are supposed to be more wise. More wise means using thier minds more than thier hearts(feelings), and thats why they can be much more fair and honest than women.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 15:18
chinx_lady

lols snook.i don't mind what you're saying..it is not important to me if you agree or not.that is the essence of ql..all of us are unique we can't have the same perspectives...

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 15:15
chinx_lady

snook i agree with your suggested post but it's better if you to make a new thread out of it then qlers will respond to the querry you ask.i am interested to know also.if you were to ask me then yes i think so.don't get offended with my words.peace...:)

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 15:13
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

no offend at all:). Simply i disagree with most of your words and agree with hashim and khalid words. As simple as that. No offend to you

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 15:11
Rating: 4/5
hashimozotoyama

No Snook, it does not apply the other way round for the simple reason of preserving family lineage. In polygeny, every member of the family has 1 father/spouse to identify with. The other way round the product is called "bastard" and deprives the child of the most essential human right of knowing one's own lineage and honour. This generates an angry youth that tends to lash out at society as is the case in the USA. By the way, the statistcs of illegitimate children in the States has passed beyound 50% of all children born. The simple reason is that they have not had an honourable lineage to be proud of and that they have not been fed the love of both parents of the traditional family structure. There are books written in human psycholgy that can elaborate on this if you are interested.

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 15:02
anonymous

Right?:) What is the big problem in asking if it applies to men as well or not?.If not then simply tell me why. Simply answer Yes or No and no need to make it long and ask me not to hijack your thread.

By Khawaga• 2 Dec 2009 15:00
Khawaga

That sounds painful.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 14:58
chinx_lady

what i meant snook is you hijack the original concept of the thread...got it?

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 14:57
hashimozotoyama

Agnostic... to answer your question, how about this: It is a fact of life that men are more involved in wars/crime/migrate away from home seeking a better life etc. In Egypt alone there is a pandemic of unmarried women beyond the age of 35 that has reached astronimical numbers (the last count was 15 million). In Sudan the 35 year civil war has claimed the lives of millions of young men and there is a similar crisis of unmarried women there. These women will not marry or have the pleasure of children and will grow old alone. Is that fair?

Depending on how much society accepts the practice of polygeny, it can heal itself and provide everyone with a family to belong to and a husband/father to love and be happy with.

In Sudan, the president set an example for the population by marrying a second wife to encourage men to do the same and provide for more women and families. It is a real problem in human socities around the world and has to be addressed in a fair and logical way.

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 14:55
anonymous

Oh I see...When you advice women against married men, this is not hijacking, but when someone ask you if those advices apply to men who have relationship with married women?, then this is hijacking? Am I right?

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 14:53
anonymous

and for you darling, you better stay silent, or else everybody here in QL will know who you are.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 14:46
chinx_lady

nope snook, no hijacking here..i think its better you make a thread out of that and lets find out...;)

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 14:45
Rating: 4/5
hashimozotoyama

Khawaja.. it is difficult but not impossible for an honest person to do so. Not that I want to indulge in what Islam has to say about this, but yes, it is a condition that a man divides his time/wealth/presents/vacations equally between his wives or face harsh judgement in front of a court and ultimately in front of God. Prophet Mohammed taught that a man who has not treated his wives equally will come on judgement day dragging half his body on the ground and the other half upright. It is that serious, so a man who thinks he can't be fair should think twice before taking such a step.

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 14:42
anonymous

having relationship with a married woman? because I found that in the Philippines, it is usually the other way around, the man is having a relationship with the married woman, shall he also consider your thread?

By darling• 2 Dec 2009 14:37
darling

i agree with you ...might be wife is blamed why husband dating other lady....

i a wife.... but i shut my mouth...never talk because i dont want ot break the marriage....

if being a mistress is not easy.... being a wife isnt that easy,,,isnt that bearable...physically, emotionally...

By Khawaga• 2 Dec 2009 14:31
Khawaga

...but from my understanding, for a man to marry a second wife, he must be able to treat her equal with the first wife. And it is impossible for him to treat two wives equally, so he should only marry (and, I assume, be faithful to) one wife.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 14:31
Rating: 2/5
hashimozotoyama

I know a lady who was wheelchair bound after a car accident earlier on in her life. Nevertheless, a guy fell in love with her and married her knowing that she couldn't have children. After years of marriage, she began to feel that he was missing the joy of having kids although he never openly said so. So she gave him permission to marry a second wife, which he did after a lot of hesitation. They are now one big family, two wives who are friends and a lot of kids who also love the first wife.

I see this as a success story of mercy and compassion. But there are other stories and other reasons for wanting a second wife. I say it works if the first wife permits it. And in a culture that accepts this practice and respects it, there is alot more benefit than harm done while preserving everyones' dignity.

But the best thing for all those who are really looking for the truth is to get to know a family that consists of more than one wife and find out for yourself if it really works.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 14:29
chinx_lady

what to do yani?that's the beauty of life..mix with heartaches and laughter...there are always ups and downs in different aspect..there is no such thing as perfect marriage.that is how we test our faith..

By Straight Arrow• 2 Dec 2009 14:26
Rating: 2/5
Straight Arrow

It is the nature of the woman.

Tell me if you are married and you love her so much and for some reason she got very sick and can not give birth and you have two options,

These options according to Islam are:

First divorce her and marry another woman who may give birsth.

Second Do not divorce your wife and marry another woman who may give birth.

Third Stay with her and forget the kids.

Let us be very vey vey honest, the woman who love her husband very very very much and she can not give birth will tell her husband to marry another woman.

At the end it is up to the husband.

Here I was speaking if there is something wrong from the woman side, also can be from the man side.

This was one reason which came to my mind.

Also imagine that a woman who is not married can do bad things or give blue jobs (Here I want to say only some women can be bad and not all women), if you marry this woman then there is a big possibility to prevent her from being bad.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 14:06
chinx_lady

no complains agnostic if there will be fair attention to all the wives and everything follows the meaning of islam way...

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 14:05
hashimozotoyama

The last thing I want is to turn this thread into another religious debate. QL has enough of those ongoing. Let us just discuss this as a cultural concept for the regulation of society and essential human needs of which love is one of.

Any system can be abused or twisted in an imperfect world. The question is, does this concept offer a framework that people can satisfy thier needs in a civilised manner given both parties are willing?

And please remember that polygeny is a concept that outdates Islam and Christianity and has been around for a lot longer than you think.

Regards, H.

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 13:52
hashimozotoyama

I'm missing your point rs2009... What is "pure form of love" and how does it fit in with the concept of marriage? And is there any cultural example for the success of your concept or is this something new/utopian? I beleive that love is a very essential emotion to human beings and if not regulated in a fair manner then it can hurt very much and lead to a lot of misery and injustice.

By rs2009• 2 Dec 2009 13:44
rs2009

Most of the posts show a single tracked mind conditioned by society acting in a predictable totally corrupt manner. Love has no boundaries and limitations. It is pure. All the posts are against pure form of love professing "ownership" and "exclusivity". Well, that is why we have a degenerated society. Learn to Grow Up and see pure love.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 13:17
chinx_lady

for some part we can be consider but we have laws to follow;)

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 13:09
Rating: 2/5
hashimozotoyama

I'm not married to 2 women in case any of you are thinking so, but I have three daughters that are constantly fighting for my love/time/attention and as long as I share that equally with all three of them, they get along fine. The moment I shift the balance... trouble starts. So I sometimes wonder, why that couldn't work with grown up women?

It is fair, family lineage is preserved, there is no secrecy or looking at the watch all the time... The question is really: can the first wife accept that her husband has another wife? Other cultures have gotten around that point but for the western culture which just can't get past it. The result is cheating, loss of lineage, broken hearts and a lot of angry women and not a few cases of revenge killings.

But where it is accepted culturally, it seems to work just fine. Of course there are occaisonal conflicts between wives but which marriage doesn't have its hiccups every now and then? But can you change your culture if you wanted to? Are you really free to do so or are you imprisoned by the culture you grew up in?

By hashimozotoyama• 2 Dec 2009 12:56
hashimozotoyama

From what I've read on this (provocative) thread, it seems to me that most of the contributers are from the western/catholic world. I don't want to hijack this thread but with all due respect, why not MARRY the second woman? I know, I know... most if not all women on this thread will frown and say... phahhh! But if you're not strictly religious (catholic) and possess a free mind, then you can look into other cultures for a solution to this chronic problem that affects a great portion of men in the western world.

In middle eastern culture, a common practice is for the man to take a second wife and share his time/wealth/love with both of them. Sounds absurd? I have several friends who have 2 wives who have accepted each other and are on good terms.

Without getting into any religious debates here, IMO it sounds to me like a solution to a problem that has no answer in western culture, both parties willing of course.

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 12:18
chinx_lady

no holds barred but we have to adhere the morals..

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 12:11
anonymous

Forget the brain, you lose it anyways when yo're in love!

By hotcake• 2 Dec 2009 12:02
hotcake

khalid , “Where the heart lies, let the brain lie also.”

By chinx_lady• 2 Dec 2009 11:54
chinx_lady

your right pink panther and to all i am already married so it doesn't apply to me.i post this thread so that my friend who recently hook by a married man will soon realize the status of their relationship.i guess this would help people who engage in this that it is so unlikely to choose this foolish guys.have a nice day to all.:)

By Straight Arrow• 2 Dec 2009 11:50
Straight Arrow

because heart pumps the blood to the brain and without pumping the blood to the brain we are dead.

This is my opinion.

By nephi2kph• 2 Dec 2009 11:26
nephi2kph

"GOD put HEART below our MIND, which means MIND is POWERFUL than HEART..yes our HEART felt but we have our MIND to think and dictate what our HEART must DO..GOD consider US the greatest and most intelligent amongst his CREATION...LET yourMIND RUINs over your HEART...to realize what is RIGHT and WHAT is WRONG..

By Straight Arrow• 2 Dec 2009 11:08
Rating: 5/5
Straight Arrow

Would you like your partner to betrayd you? I am sure a good woman will never like her husband to be taken by another woman and vice versa the good husband will also never like another man to take his wife.

If you steal something from some one then yours will be stolen another day.

Let us be good and wish happiness for the married man and woman.

If some one is not married I will tell him God bliss you and let others live happily and you will take what is decided for you sooner or later.

By pinkpanther81177• 2 Dec 2009 11:03
Rating: 3/5
pinkpanther81177

there are always women trying to fall on married men and even married men goes for the girl.. this is happening in my life ,they are all low standard women showing everyone that they are with high moral values, even if the man comes and talk to the ladies, she should say being a female i dont want to spoil my life and what will happen if he is going to turn around after sometime from her and go back to another one...

Here chinx is trying to say is use ur brain and think twice or million times before u act and do this stupid things.. ur not only breaking the heart of a women who u loved but also the law in doha...

Whoever does have this illegal relationship should be informed to police and beaten

to death

By Stone Cold• 2 Dec 2009 10:56
Stone Cold

I would take que from the angle of desperation when being far away from home, and its about your kind of people when the need for love, financial support and comfort arise. Marriage man do fits these profile.

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 10:38
anonymous

nice rhyme

also quiet fighty answer to chinx_lady

By marie_2• 2 Dec 2009 10:35
marie_2

...nice rhyme

...listen to the sound of silence....

By anonymous• 2 Dec 2009 10:28
anonymous

just a joke guys...

Advantages of having an affair with a married women.

They make love like hell.

They do not yell.

They do not tell.

They do not swell and no wedding bell!

By anonymous• 1 Dec 2009 18:36
anonymous

But compare to married men,maried women trying to attract young guys,

what will you say about this chinx...:)

So better to avoid married people.

By anthoworx• 1 Dec 2009 17:47
anthoworx

what makes you confused.. specify and will clear it.. if silence ever had sound i would have danced on the rythym. Silence have no sound just some feelings its the breath that plays the music...

cheers

By marie_2• 1 Dec 2009 16:55
marie_2

...listen to the sound of silence....

By marie_2• 1 Dec 2009 16:52
marie_2

eerr, "hi" means you're a married man?

...listen to the sound of silence....

By elnagar• 1 Dec 2009 16:49
elnagar

hi

By Jo Naras• 1 Dec 2009 16:33
Jo Naras

If I'm the girl it's pretty much easier because you can clubbing anytime anywhere.....

The most complicated one is a married man loves a married woman who also still loves her hubby... its painful and sorrow...

Life is a continual upgrade. ~JMW

By anonymous• 1 Dec 2009 16:32
anonymous

By DohaSteve• 1 Dec 2009 16:19
DohaSteve

Every opinion that everyone has on this subject is valid. Why? Because we are humans, and one of the things that define us as human is that our intelligence level allows us to conceptualise and experience a vast range of emotions.

So, the married guy conceptualises (replace "concept" with "fantasy" if you need a clearer picture) about the attractive brunette with the big boobies that he saw in the elevator.

The lonely woman conceptualises about the hunky guy with the toned and tanned six-pack that she saw at the pool.

Chances are that neither of them will end up with the one they are fantasising about, but the seeds are sown and our very ability to visualise a concept is what lays the groundwork for infidelity.

This may be a married man being unfaithful to his wife (been there, done that, got the divorce papers), or a married woman cheating on her husband (been the third party in this one too, and it gets messy) or, as the original thread specified, a single woman having an affair with a married man.

At the end of the day, no matter how much we all know that it is wrong, should never be condoned, and often ends up destroying families and leaving emotional scars that can take years to heal (if they ever do), we also know that we are all capable of the same acts.

So next time you have a harmless little fantasy about the guy/girl next door, think about how easy it would be to take the next step.

There but for the grace of conscience go I ????

.

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places". - Henny Youngman

By marie_2• 1 Dec 2009 16:17
marie_2

anthoworx your summation of things amazes me lol

...listen to the sound of silence....

By marie_2• 1 Dec 2009 16:15
marie_2

well, why indeed?

could be because of love... but she said run the other way...ok, i will definitely fly if i see 1. no push needed

wacky???

...listen to the sound of silence....

By anthoworx• 1 Dec 2009 15:55
Rating: 2/5
anthoworx

coz married men are experienced,... lol..

By Eagley• 1 Dec 2009 15:20
Eagley

Formatted Soul said When there are so many single men in this world? why go for married men??? lol "

Apparently, less hangups.

*****************************************

The Cookie Monster said it.

By anonymous• 1 Dec 2009 15:18
anonymous

Yeah, let's take the blame!

By anthoworx• 1 Dec 2009 15:16
anthoworx

Its not about being a second choice, its all about the caring, comfort, and moral support.

I dont mean to say everyone does the same, when you see someone with cross relation, there could be other things behind which is unknown.

But then who cares... blame it on man

By Ice Maiden• 1 Dec 2009 15:06
Ice Maiden

Why would any woman agree to be a man's second choice ??

By anthoworx• 1 Dec 2009 14:51
anthoworx

Could some one post the disadvantage of falling for a married women too.. why do girls/ladies/women come out with such a topic, though they have hidden desires too.. is it just to blame men ???

1. Why is it always said that a man cheated the women ?

2. Why is it said that women was ditched by the man ?

3. Why is it that if a man unknowingly have an eye contact with a girl she feels he is checking her out ?

4. Why do women come to a conclusion if some guy tries to talk to her then he is a pervert ?

At one end the world says women are equal to man and on other side women create their own welfare to show men are nothing...

If you do not have sense and ability do not point the weakness as someones else, coz you race one fingure towards someone and 4 fingures automatically make you realise your mistakes.

By mary faith• 10 Nov 2009 23:06
mary faith

..the challenge is to hide and hide so as not to be caught by the wife...

By ajinpt• 10 Nov 2009 23:04
ajinpt

So gurls , whom do you really prefer? a married man or a single one? I'm totally confused!

---If you can't CONVINCE 'em, CONFUSE 'em!!!

By JohnDear• 10 Nov 2009 21:26
Rating: 2/5
JohnDear

>>>Experience always counts...

Cheers...

John Dearhill

By blue angel• 28 Oct 2009 15:08
blue angel

as i've read all the comments, it is not just dating...but having a relationship with a married man...

what if we rephrase the question.."SINGLE MEN DATING MARRIED WOMEN"???and the story goes on and on..Any comments here single men out there?????lolssss

By Bizware• 28 Oct 2009 13:20
Bizware

I am Agree with you

it hard to dating maaried man .

But it is Crazy of Blind love.

By smoke• 28 Oct 2009 13:18
smoke

LOL ralliart you say "somehow" like its a miracle i said something right for once :P

Attraction is what leads to feelings and then feelings leads to sex. All roads lead to sex :P

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By Ralliart23• 28 Oct 2009 13:10
Ralliart23

Somehow smoke is right..it all comes down to sex...but at the same time we should consider the feelings of the persons involve...

_______________________________________________________

"All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand."

By smoke• 28 Oct 2009 12:46
Rating: 2/5
smoke

My monkey theory is this: Humans are animals and our basic urge is sex! Everything is about sex. You think its not but it is. Society and culture has put it in our heads that sex is bad but at the same time sex is holy. We have grown to feel guilty about our sexual needs and what is right and what is wrong. We have to follow society's rules and cultural norms of "marriage"

Marriage never made any MAN happy! Your going to be having sex with the same woman for the rest of your natural life? Who the hell made up this rule? If in one culture its OK to have sex with many women who are your wives, why isnt it ok all around the world? Its not that its not ok its just the culture that u come from or the religious teachings that u get right? Were u born in a religion that said its ok to have 10 wives how is that any different from cheating on your first wife? But NOW it becomes OK coz its legal cheating lol

So i say screw anyone who says cheating with a married man is wrong. You are a woman and he's a man end of story! Same goes to the wives as well if you feel u can get emotional satisfaction from another man go for it...if your husband cant satisfy your urges go find someone else. Its only natural!

End of monkey theory.

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By mical• 28 Oct 2009 12:37
mical

Sometimes dating a married man is better, no commitment and he knows knows very well how to please you...

" Tomorrow is not just another day, it's another chance..."

By om Maui• 28 Oct 2009 12:10
Rating: 2/5
om Maui

monkey theory again... it is more difficult to contemplate separating, it is easier to cheat, fastest way to satisfy myself. you have a right to be happy, but so does your wife. she should cheat on you too, because she has a right to be happy too.

By dashingwhitesergeant• 28 Oct 2009 10:31
Rating: 4/5
dashingwhitesergeant

Marriage doesn't end the moment you realise it's not working. It can go on for years before decisions are taken to try to fix it or go ahead with separation and divorce. If there's children involved then it is even more difficult to contemplate separating. So, it is a fact that in many cases the unhappy husband will meet someone with whom he can be happy, yet he is still a married man. This is just the way it works.

By snessy• 28 Oct 2009 10:20
snessy

Everyone is entitled to be happy, but if you ever had any love or respect for your wife, you would be honest with her and end the relationship before seeking love elsewhere.

By dashingwhitesergeant• 28 Oct 2009 10:10
dashingwhitesergeant

I would say at least 90% of the men I have met who are working overseas have cheated on their wives or partners.

About 50% of marriages end in divorce. Of the 50% that do not I bet at least half of those are not working well.

I was married when I met my girlfriend in China. I admit I broke the rules in my marriage. But I was not wanting to be married anymore. Did I not have a right to seek happiness in a relationship when the married relationship was no longer very meaningful? I was going home after weeks away for work and not even looking forward to being in my own house. Sorry, I don't care what you call it but I have a right to be happy

By mallrat• 28 Oct 2009 09:58
mallrat

ajinpt, good abs is an excuse for me, lol

.

seriously

.What do mistresses get of dating married men?

"Sneaking around" can be exciting, yes; the "forbidden fruit" concept has been around for millenia.

Also, it may be that they truly enjoy the company of the man in question; just because he's married, doesn't mean that he ceases to be attractive or charming or funny or enjoyable to be around.

For some women, I'm sure, it's a way to have a relationship but avoid the commitment.

For others, it's "true love", and they keep hoping that he will leave his family to be with them.

.

.

Talk to my crown......

.

By ajinpt• 28 Oct 2009 09:50
ajinpt

Whatever may the situation be, there is no excuse for fornication and adultery.

---If you can't CONVINCE 'em, CONFUSE 'em!!!

By chinx_lady• 28 Oct 2009 08:54
chinx_lady

thanx for the comment inter2006...

By snessy• 28 Oct 2009 08:49
snessy

If a man is willing to cheat on his wife with another woman, the mistress should be aware he could do the same to her with someone else. What's the point of any relationship if there isn't any trust.

By Don Robert• 28 Oct 2009 08:38
Don Robert

I think this thread is just a reminder by the author for those who are planning to engage into an illicit relationship about the consequences that they will suffer if they do so. nice topic anyway:)

By om Maui• 28 Oct 2009 08:31
om Maui

thanks, Brit, well said! i've seen this discussion before the other day, about blaming the wife. and i will repeat what i said, good wife or no good wife, the husband will cheat if he wants to.

dashingwhitesergeant, you remind of the monkey theory. a monkey grabs a branch with one hand, and doesn't let go, until his other hand firmly grabs another. monkey, monkey, monkey.

By kamote_ka• 28 Oct 2009 08:03
kamote_ka

a lot of women loved to date married men, coz' they are great in bed :/ harharharharhar

By britexpat• 28 Oct 2009 07:44
britexpat

Got to agree with you. All too many times the wife is blamed. The blame lies squarely with the husband first and the "other woman" second.

By dohapatience• 28 Oct 2009 07:03
Rating: 2/5
dohapatience

I would like to say a few things about the wife of the married man. Why do so many people blame her when her husband strays? Do people really think "well he must not be getting what he needs at home so that is why he is cheating." Come on people, most of these men are chronic cheaters, and usually have a good hearted, hard working woman at home cleaning, cooking and caring for his children while he out doing whatever he pleases....and she usually knows about it all but can't bring herself to tear apart her house and family in order to spare her children the pain of divorce and the shame that "she" could not hold her marriage together...

By INTER2006• 28 Oct 2009 06:24
INTER2006

Hey Chix, you sure do a good job at cut n paste, that's ellegal you know?

Sure does sound like you are the mistress are you? If you are not a mistress, as you say, then is your life so boring as to dwell into a subject you know nothing about? Are you curious to find out what it feels like, maybe. Maybe you are contemplating in getting in a relationship with your married co-worker.

Get a life, will you!!!!

By rkaraja• 28 Oct 2009 05:25
rkaraja

no married "papers" can keep relations

Only love can ...

By bruhildita• 28 Oct 2009 04:20
Rating: 2/5
bruhildita

men can cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesnt belong to them. there are women who get fooled and dont know that a man is already spoken for. a majority of time, however, these women know they are sleeping with a married man. these are the women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self-esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available

to be cheated on....

Let It Be.....

By Bizware• 28 Oct 2009 02:33
Bizware

Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you .

By dashingwhitesergeant• 20 Oct 2009 18:16
Rating: 3/5
dashingwhitesergeant

In an ideal world life would be simple, straight-forward, and we would all follow the conventional or customary way of life. If it were that simple in reality then you, samia08, would not be in Qatar trying to make a living.

By samia08• 20 Oct 2009 17:19
samia08

i you date a married man and have an affair with him that mean you are stupide ,if you fall in love with him that mean you are dumb .

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 17:18
anonymous

I don't think a bad marriage is good for anybody, including the kids. But I think the couple should get out of it BEFORE either starts looking around.

 

 

 

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

By dashingwhitesergeant• 20 Oct 2009 17:16
dashingwhitesergeant

If an unhappily married man is (say)overseas on business and meets a girl, who can say that their relationship, if it blossoms into something special, is somehow wrong? If the married man's marriage is very bad then I think he is doing the right thing to begin to put his unhappy situation in the past and start working towards a better life. I understand very well that if the man's marriage is not working then he should be discussing this with his wife and they should be seeking a separation or some kind of solution; but who's to say these things should always happen in this 'logical' way? Sometimes it takes something special to jolt someone out of their unhappy situation and see the way out of a depressed life. You see, society is biased in favour of preserving marriage even if it costs a person his happiness. I just think this is wrong and unnecessary in most cases if not all.

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 16:26
chinx_lady

hahaha your so naughty jackmohan..

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 16:21
anonymous

It has its benefits though.....we know to keep our mouths shut about the affair....and never tell our buddies...he he he

By zetec• 20 Oct 2009 16:20
zetec

u r hitting your own head with a boulder.

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 16:09
chinx_lady

sure dear...thanx a lot...

By azilana7037• 20 Oct 2009 16:06
Rating: 3/5
azilana7037

coz you might be accused of plagiarism.

But you got a nice topic here...

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 16:05
chinx_lady

from this article i find it so unfortunate to be with a married man but if he loves his gf much than his wife more better but the thing is the woman becomes a homewrecker.hope for divorce.

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 16:01
chinx_lady

maybe you didnt get the point here.lol...if that's how you think of it then be it.it is simply facts.

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 16:00
anonymous

positive, like struggling to accomplish something. Women who get involved with these married jerks haven't accomplished anything, other than hurting a family and making themselves look like a selfish fool.

 

 

 

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

By britexpat• 20 Oct 2009 15:54
britexpat

Has anyone asked WHY a woman should allow herself to fall in love with a married man?

By Victory_278692• 20 Oct 2009 15:51
Rating: 4/5
Victory_278692

in such affairs.....my plate is full, look somewhere else. Female hunters for married man around at QL ....

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 15:33
anonymous

Comments should come from married men who are cheating, or from women who have an affair with a married man. Anybody else should be quiet. If you are not, you already belong in one of the two categories. See you in another thread (for now).

By Arien• 20 Oct 2009 15:24
Arien

Oops , I never knew I still stand a chance ;;))

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

By labda06• 20 Oct 2009 15:22
labda06

LOL I most certianly have not gotten dashingwhitesergeants point. Infact "..but if he is unhappy then perhaps the girl can assist him in leaving his wife." Erm, no. Douchebag should grow backbone and leave wife himself.

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 15:21
anonymous

married men are good liars to single women.. who agrees with me?

By teepatter• 20 Oct 2009 15:20
teepatter

.lets be brilliant enough not to judge one side of the coin and speak way too fast!

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 15:17
chinx_lady

hhhmmm got your point dashing.

By dashingwhitesergeant• 20 Oct 2009 15:15
dashingwhitesergeant

Absolute nonsense! Most of the posts so far are extremely paranoid and irrational. Married men are human beings, are they not? There are so many examples of good men and women who survived and escaped a bad marriage. It sounds like some of you people have a vendetta against men.

What is so superior about a single man? Should you not be concerned why no woman has chosen him up 'till now?

Fair enough it is a good idea to leave alone a man if he is already married; but if he is unhappy then perhaps the girl can assist him in leaving his wife.

You can't dictate who a person should fall in love with. Nor can you draw a line clearly delimiting what is right or wrong.

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 15:14
chinx_lady

yup i read it from her and i find it interesting and nice to share with you guys...im her avid fan.hope it helps a lot.

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 15:11
anonymous

Yeah nice article by CAROLYN TYTLER....

more in this site...

http://www.helium.com/knowledge/22434-the-challenges-of-dating-a-married-man

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 15:08
chinx_lady

teepatter with anybody who does...me im not.

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:57
anonymous

Being Mistress or being some single eligible guys girlfriend..its up to you to choose...It depends on your abilities and taste to find one.....!!

By teepatter• 20 Oct 2009 14:54
teepatter

.you all speking in behalf of those who are/were into it? or were you.

By mical• 20 Oct 2009 14:51
mical

Being mistress has pros and cons...It depends on how an individual will look at it...I have friend doing the same thing but somehow they seem happy also...

" Tomorrow is not just another day, it's another chance..."

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 14:48
chinx_lady

thanks mical i dont know why she cant get the point here and mislead it...i dont know if she's reading the thread well..?sounds so serious to her and very much affected..lol!

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 14:47
chinx_lady

good grief..if i sound like one well i dont care at all ...its how you understand cant twist your mind.

By mical• 20 Oct 2009 14:41
mical

Don't mis-underatand Chinx_lady guys, she just wanted to bring this thread out or clarify something...

" Tomorrow is not just another day, it's another chance..."

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:39
anonymous

YYYYYAAAAAWWWWNNNN!

By somwerNdmiddle• 20 Oct 2009 14:38
somwerNdmiddle

LOL kureduChick!

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:35
anonymous

Me too! Fact is you sound like a mistress.

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 14:35
chinx_lady

ive never been a mistress in my entire life and never been dreaming to be one...lol!

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:27
anonymous

Then you should explain yourself clearer dear because you are sounding like he mistress!

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 14:26
chinx_lady

and hope this will help to enlighten some..not to let theirselves fool by a married men and im not into this league dear.

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:25
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

Moral of the story: all the good men are even married, gay or dead!

By phoenix2009• 20 Oct 2009 14:24
phoenix2009

wooooowwwww you're so Bold lady :~

Yalla!

By Ice Maiden• 20 Oct 2009 14:21
Rating: 4/5
Ice Maiden

Associating with a married man is like playing with fire. It's not worth the heartache.

By messymiss• 20 Oct 2009 14:18
Rating: 4/5
messymiss

only stupidity will lead to such thoughtless acts!

Pay peanuts & you get Monkeys

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:15
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

Chinx lady, you are not doing yourself any favours sweetie! If "your" married man is cheating on his wife what makes you think you are the only other. Increasing the risk of STI...I'd rather be someones wife standing side by side than a mistress hiden like a dirty secret!

By anonymous• 20 Oct 2009 14:12
anonymous

Absolutely, Completely, Exactly right!...:P

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 14:09
Rating: 3/5
chinx_lady

having affair with married man probably the latest in a line of conquests. married lovers are great, no gifts expected, no strings, so grateful for attention and compliments. and luckily could even be at risk of contracting an STD..

By somwerNdmiddle• 20 Oct 2009 14:08
somwerNdmiddle

moral of the story - use your brain!

By Formatted Soul• 20 Oct 2009 14:08
Rating: 3/5
Formatted Soul

When there are so many single men in this world? why go for married men??? lol

By chinx_lady• 20 Oct 2009 14:06
chinx_lady

lol tess...agree with you.

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