Big fat ego's
This morning, on the way to work, I was reduced to tears. I cried all the way to work. I bawled inconsolably. What have I gained? A horrid headache.
The reason for my misery was this Qatari who was in his pick-up. I was driving to work in the left lane, since I needed to take a left turn. At 80 kms/hr, which is the designated speed on C-Ring road, in my dusty little Honda City. Small car, small, insignificant folks, right? So he came blinking his lights right behind me. I ignored, since i had to turn left at the Gulf Cinema signal as well. But no, he actually came and bumped my bumper. First time he did it, I was shocked. Then again. Then again. I moved away to the middle lane. Was I angry, shocked? I felt assaulted. Plundered, ravaged, humiliated. How could he dare do that? Right on the main road? What kind of day was he having? At 6.45 am, that he had to bully a small female driving to work in her small dusty car? Was it some kind of urgency? Then I parked parallely to him, had a good look at his face, smiled at him, and bowed to him and said namaste. And namaste again. And what did he do? He grinned.
All this humiliation just to wait at the red-signal. Why did he do it? Does he not have basic humility? Just a teeny weeny bit? Or has he been taught to disrespect other human beings. Or maybe, the fact that I am an Indian female- cheap Indian slave, in a small car. So I dont get to be respected.
But its ok. I forgive him. But, of course its not so hard to forget. And everytime I come face to face with someone in a thob, I will fear. I will fear humiliation.
Will acts like this take him to his prized destination- heaven? Has he booked a seat there- darn- it will have to be a berth for him. I wonder.
Bloody ell! I'm scared about coming to Qatar after reading threads like these! He actually shunted your rear bumper whilst driving!?! What a complete utter pillock!
If that happened to me I would have made that bloke's life a living nightmare regardless of how tiny my car is. You simply cannot surrender to people like that with such ease.
I really feel for you though. Whilst lane hoggers can be annoying, what the driver did is in-excusable. But your subsequent reactions (smiling and greeting) after the events are confusing and non-sensical. I
f it was me I would be dispensing numerous expletives and looking around my car to see if I had a rocket propelled grenade to launch at the guy.
Would have been best to STOP. Let the jerk screw your bumpers. Then both of you could have gotten to know each other. And involve the police. Would be his fault, his isurance money!
U should have took his plate number and complain.
hummpp,,you have a very long patience! If i were you at your place maybe i will get out of my car and wait for him to go out a suddenly slam him in his rude, arrogant, attitude!
Why you have to pity to yourself everybody is the same there is no difference at all when it comes, especially RESPECT!And next time dont waste your precious tears!
Why you not get his no and make him a lesson, ok if the police will not hear you then at least you have proven to him that you are not "something".
Just wait, even you cannot get even to him, I’m sure GOD see him and action will be taken later.
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my camera is in my bag at all times...
"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME
visit www.qaws.org
Coming to Qatar, I learned to carry a camera with me in the car at all times. It's a great equalizer. The other great weapon is elaborate politeness. Most of these characters actually were taught manners, and seem to have forgotten them.
one day this guy might do the same things to somebody else, and the result might be fatal. Might ended up killing another innocent driver/s.
I totally realise my folly- suffered an unnecessary headache all of yesterday with all that bawling- I should have noted his number down. I weeped because i was humiliated- you all may not understand that.
But its over. He will receive his due. I am not relegious, but believe in karma. So, I'm sure he will get punished. My belief in the local police is not as strong as in karma; Im not worried, he will get his due.
Thanks all of you for your kind words (Some not so kind- but thats alright, you dont know me)
And Mandilulur- Im so glad- ONE person-just-MAY-have acted the way I would have.
What he did is not something to be forgive...If you dont react to such things... It will happen to you tomorrow also.
If I were you I would have reported to police... or stopped my car there and asked him to call the cop!
Smokey if she forgave him, why did she cry??? cause she didn't take his cell number??
U should learn how to face this problems lady, and don't forget to note down a plate number everytime u r in this type of situation.... crying makes things worse
You should have called the police.. u being a lady, the police would treat you with utmost respect and the guy would be in hot soup..no need to be scared of anyone wearing a thobe,and no point in crying 'I- am-an Indian-small-insignificant-i -forgive-him-boo-hoo'..if you stand up for yourself, no body can bully you..
...Avada Kedavra..
Was tat Qatari your Boss ?
I think she forgave him coz he was a handsome looking Qatari :p
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry for your miserable experience. It would have frightened and upset me too to the same extent. And I think your English is marvelous. But I would have done the same thing you did. For me, it's just not worth the hassle and the time it would take to teach the bast$%d a lesson that he probably wouldn't learn anyway. You come first not him. If I thought you'd have felt better after calling the police, I'd say, you go girl. But I think it was better to drop it and deal with your feelings this way. As we say, no harm, no foul.
Mandi
you didn't call the police and instead moved over and smiled. Rewarding people for abominable behavior just cements the idea that they can get away with murder.
I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM
ok u got a bit scared maybe..but why the smile n the namaste..?dint get that part.....
of course he would GRIN..i guess anybody would if they saw somebody they just bullied do that..the above posts were right u shud have stopped n taken down his number/called the cops..
Jai Gandhi Giri .... Right?
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Whenever I find the KEY to SUCCESS...Someone STEALS it.
You are right. Done is done.
No debate.
Ladai jhagda band karein,
Gandhi ji ko yaad karein.
Lets not turn this into a debate on the locals. ;)
Theresoon - You should have noted his number and complained to the police.I wonder why you didn't do that. If you are married,the first reaction would have been to tell your husband. I wonder why he didn't react the way I would have :)
If someone did that to my wife ( if I had one ) I would have pulled him from anywhere and shown him the light ;)
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)
Done is DONE...
But ... never let anyone go like this again...hope you gather yourself soon....Insh'Allah....
Cheerzzzzz & Peace.
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Whenever I find the KEY to SUCCESS...Someone STEALS it.
However, a NUDGE or a bump...he invaded your personal space and he's accountable for that. You should have looked him straight at his face and stood your ground....THEN REPORT HIM to the authorities. Maybe (in my point of view), you should have reported him (like the rest of us are saying) and tell us the aftermath. Ranting here...yup, you vented out...but that didn't resolve this. But hey. I'm just stating a view, mine ;P
It was just- "bump bump- get lost, you lowly mortal" kind- of bump. No damages:-)
I couldn't resist checking for new messages on this thread.
I was pretty close to the signal. Almost there- I remember seeing the red lights. No damages- he just nudged, and it was all too soon. I realise that I should have noted his number. I realise I should have reported it. You see, I believe that there is no reason to react with anger. So if he is bossy, and is showing anger, it doesn't make me any different from him if I behave like him, right? So I let it be. I smiled at him, and folded my hands.
I probably did not do a good job at expressing myself- English is not my mother tongue, I have just learnt it. i am definitely not feeling sorry for myself- or feel anyway inferior about being Indian! MAN! Its them fools, those dim-wits I feel sorry for- we built their country for them. My culture has taught me much; I do not need to justify.
Azalina- I dislike mornings to begin the way it did today- therefore this rant. But I realise that people are how they are; they are all about their upbringing, and I dont know what their journey is about. So I have no right to judge:-)
how far were you from the Najma signal whenhe started blinking his car lights?
You seem theresoon, if you were still far, you could have moved to the middle lane and let him pass. that could have saved you the trouble and emotional stress that you're experiencing right now.
Secondly, he bumped your car from behind?
Or it was a 'STRONG' nudge but didn't cause much/any damage to your car?
Thirdly, why did you smiled at him? He did you wrong, girl. Smiling back at your oppressor means it's ok and you're not upset with what he did. BUT YOU ARE UPSET...right?
Sorry, but you have to STOP MOPING and report this to the authorities. Lesson should be learned/taught.
And Finally, why would you say this topic's gonna be a racial bashing then leave?
You opened this topic with open ended questions/statement against one individiual and poured your heart out here with the tinge of feeling sorry for yourself coz you're an Indian? Geez, girl...you're the first Indian woman I came across who thinks like that. If HAN19 was here, she will definitely have something to say to you.
@ theresoon,sorry luv,thought a little humour here albeit on a tangent wouldn't hurt eh?...if you happen to see that guy again,note his number & report him for like harassment or something,i assure you,the cops will have him brought in for questioning...have a good one...
@ britexapt & baldrick2dogs...LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!! :)...in all honesty though,i think most bollywood films don't have scripts,they just make it up as they go along...hence the teary,emotional scene somewhere in small,town India instantly cutting to song & dance routine in Laussane,Switzerland or somewhere equally exotic..."shit we're stumped now,what next?...let's do a song,round 'em up,we're heading to the alps."...
Brit, you missed out the screeching woman ;o)
Slavery, fear, humilation, sexual undertones, car chase ....This could be the script for the next major Bollywood film...
So you basically let him get away with it, so he can do it again? What's the point of feeling humiliated, assaulted and angry and then doing nothing. Should have taken his plate number and dragged his ass to the cops.
Im sorry but are we meant to cry with you? Seriously what you've done (nothing) is worse than what he's done.
Turn the other cheek indeed.
You are the only one who made this a racial thread ! ye, Better buzzz off !
"The reason for my misery was this Qatari who was in his pick-up."
"Or maybe, the fact that I am an Indian female- cheap Indian slave, in a small car. So I dont get to be respected"
"And everytime I come face to face with someone in a thob, I will fear. I will fear humiliation. "
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
You should have reported this , then and there. You are making yourself inferior, get rid of it yourself first.
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- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
Oh great. This has become another one of those racial threads. Guess its hard to avoid. Before it gets uglier, I sign off.
Thanks guys- I shall remember to call the police- if this ever happens again, and not get all huffed up and teary etc. etc.
"we as Indians/Asians ought not to live up to this stereotype & then moan about it here...take affirmative action"
You are so right there. I will hold my hands up and admit to rear ending a Pakistani driver while in Jeddah 15 years ago. OK, he stopped on a roundabout to let joining traffic in (wrong) but I should have allowed for this. The police came and he got the blame 100%.
I reckon that the more Asians complain the more chance you have of being found in the right more often. And even if you are found to blame, at least the other party will have a police report against his name should the same happen again later.
YEP... I bet my money on gadarene...!! most of us don't realize what we can do with a lil bit of STANDING UP n FACING UP to the situation rather than bowing down and later crying it over somebody else's shoulder...!!!
Live and LET LIVE...!!!!
Erm - ok- I WAS not doing a 60. I was driving @ 80, or I guess over 80. There was no traffic on the road at this morning, and we were approaching red signal.
I certainly do not underestimate myself- I am a good human being, and an intelligent person.
You are right though- I should have reported to the police. Its their business, their country, their people. May have been too dramatic. Being nice does not work.
@ theresoon, i think you've heard & believe too many of the 'horror' stories your mates & colleagues have told you...what you should've done was stopped as soon as he hit you the 1st time,right there,put your hazard lights on,stepped out of the car,noted his number & dialled 999...all the more so since you're a lady(irrespective of nationality),ok the cops would've taken a while to come but i guarantee you,this guy would've been shitting bricks in a matter of minutes...he knew you wouldn't do anything which is why he did what he did,we as Indians/Asians ought not to live up to this stereotype & then moan about it here...take affirmative action,it's your right & he was most likely some bedoiun local,a decent local would honk & flash but not actually nudge your car,remember this for the next time...& yes,i also agree with baldricks in that,don't hog the left lane,1 km. before your left turn comes up,change lanes a 100m or so before your left turn approaches,this is indeed a bad habit my fellow Asian brothers & sisters have,hogging the fast lane & justifying it by saying i'm turning left...how far ahead is your left is the question?...also people,the extreme right lane is the slow lane,want to crawl @ 60 on an 80 road? do it in the slow lane,don't hog the middle lane,not cool...
U are just under estimating urself being an Indian !
For SURE, police will help U ! Who ever (Whether he is a SHEIKH )banged you from your back, will be screwed up !
And i never know that C-Ring road is a NASTY street !
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
"Then again. Then again. I moved away to the middle lane."
Sounds like you hogged the lane and had ample oportunity to get out of his way.
Yes I respect the limits but when someone else is driving below the limit in the left lane because they want to turn right 2km later, that is unacceptable.
If he bumped your car, you should have, as already mentioned, taken his license number and called the police.
Be careful in the left lane..It can be annoying when someone is going slow in the left lane and wont move because they are going left in about 5 minutes.. I'm not saying him bumping you was right, at all, but the left lane is the fast lane so the cars wanting to drive fast theoretically should be in that lane..
I believe it would have been the best option...
Do you think the police would have helped? It would just be an hour or two wasted, and more time spent on these nasty streets.
Baldrick- hey- how do you think I would have turned left? You call it hogging the left lane. If I need to go left, then the left lane I need to be in. He did not ASK me to move. He banged on my bumper and ordered me to move. And Baldrick, dont you respect the speed limits?
Oh, never mind.
"But no, he actually came and bumped my bumper. First time he did it, I was shocked. Then again. Then again"
And you aint called the police and FORGIVE him ? Strange !!
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
If you were hogging the left lane he had every right to ask you to move.
It annoys me too that people get in the left lane at the airport to turn left at the Ramada!
Don't forgive him.. You should have taken his number and reported him to the Police..