Why men don't write advice columns....

svelte_saggi
By svelte_saggi

' THE ASK MIKE COLUMN ................. '

Dear Mike,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore..

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

======================================================

Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,
Mike

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By QatariLady• 8 Oct 2009 14:59
QatariLady

What a marriage counselor you are, MD hehe..pls keep your day job!

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 14:56
anonymous

;O)

_______________________________________________________

"You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back."

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 14:53
svelte_saggi

like i always say....men have their bodies made in different machines....their brains all come from the same mould!all identical to a fault!

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 14:49
anonymous

apparently the car has some issues :O)

_______________________________________________________

"You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back."

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 14:47
svelte_saggi

it's not handling problems one at a time...it's more like preferring not to see what they don't want to see...

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 14:43
anonymous

handling problems one at a time!

_______________________________________________________

"You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back."

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 14:29
svelte_saggi

brit....being too practical doesn't help much,mate.you've gotta listen to ur heart sometimes ;-)

FS....yeah!got back after a loooooooong refreshing break.when i got back i noticed that these guys have been having a swell time playing truant.figured that it's time for the Warrior Princess to don her armour and face the hooligans once again!LOL :-D how have u been,hun'?saw ur scrap....didn't get time to reply to it :-)

smoke...sometimes God does these kinda funny tricks to make life more beautiful.i'm sure she would have fared much better after kicking the silly two-timer out of her life....all thanks to the breakdown

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By smoke• 8 Oct 2009 14:11
smoke

Saggi i never said ALL the women need to commit suicide..just the ones that cant take care of her car.

Now in this situation, had she looked after the car properly she'd have been on her way to work without any breakdowns and everyone would have lived happily ever after.

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By Formatted Soul• 8 Oct 2009 14:10
Formatted Soul

you back girl? welcome back...good to see you here again..:)

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 14:06
anonymous

Exactly, brit. If a car doesn't run, there must be a reason. Let's find it.

By britexpat• 8 Oct 2009 14:05
britexpat

men are more practical and focus on real issues..

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 14:04
anonymous

It isn't. It only shows why men don't write advice columns!

By Rizks• 8 Oct 2009 14:04
Rizks

lol Maggie....

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 14:02
svelte_saggi

this was not intended to be an Automobile Repair thread,FYI

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By phoenix2009• 8 Oct 2009 13:59
phoenix2009

Nice joke, just add that her husband's other mistress sabotaged her car so she could come back and caught them in act

Yalla!

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 13:49
svelte_saggi

oh really???u think the world would be a better place without women,eh?why don't you switch over to celibacy then?kick out all the women from ur life....u'd be in paradise then!whatsay?

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:48
anonymous

Are you all dead now? This is only a selection of the error codes. Now you understand what men really are busy with, don't you?

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:44
anonymous

Error Code Table (Typical)

11 No crank reference signal detected during engine cranking. Intermittent loss of either camshaft or crankshaft position sensor. CKP sensor target windows have too much variation.

12 Direct battery input to PCM was disconnected within the last 50 Key-on cycles.

13 No difference recognized between the engine MAP reading and the barometric (atmosphere) pressure reading from start-up.

14 MAP sensor input above or below acceptable voltage. 5 volt output to MAP sensor open.

15 No vehicle speed sensor signal detected during road load conditions.

17 Engine did not reach operating temperature within acceptable limits. Engine does not reach 20º F. within 5 minutes with a vehicle speed signal.

21 Upstream oxygen sensor response slower than minimum required switching frequency. Upstream oxygen sensor heating element circuit malfunction. Downstream oxygen sensor heating element circuit malfunction. Downstream oxygen sensor input voltage maintained above the normal operating range. Oxygen sensor voltage too low, tested after cold start. (Upstream or Downstream) Left oxygen sensor input voltage maintained above the normal operating temperature.

22 Engine coolant temperature sensor above or below acceptable voltage.

23 Intake air temperature sensor input above or below acceptable voltage.

24 Throttle position sensor input above or below acceptable voltage. TPS signal does not correlate to MAP sensor.

25 A shorted or open condition detected in one or more of the idle air control motor circuits. Actual idle speed does not equal target idle speed.

27 Injector #3, and/or 4, and/or 5, and/or 6 output driver does not respond properly to the control signal.

31 An open or shorted condition detected in the A/C clutch relay circuit. Insufficient or excessive vapor flow detected during evaporative emission system operation.

33 An open or shorted condition detected in the duty cycle purge solenoid circuit.

34 An open or shorted condition detected in the Speed Control vacuum or vent solenoid circuits. Speed control switch input below the minimum acceptable voltage.

37 Relationship between engine speed and vehicle speed indicates no torque converter clutch engagement. An open or shorted condition detected in the torque converter part throttle unlock solenoid control circuit. Incorrect input state detected for the Park/Neutral switch. Auto only.

41 An open or shorted condition in the generator field control circuit.

42 An open or shorted condition detected in the auto shutdown relay circuit. An open condition detected in the ASD relay output circuit. An open or shorted condition detected in the fuel pump relay control circuit. An open circuit between PCM and fuel gauge sending unit. Circuit shorted to voltage between PCM and fuel gauge sending unit. No movement of fuel level sender detected.

43 Peak primary circuit current not achieved with maximum dwell time. Misfire detected in one or more cylinders 1 thru 6. (4 and 6 cyls.)

44 Battery temperature sensor in voltage above or below acceptable range.

46 Battery voltage sense input above target charging voltage during engine operation.

47 Battery voltage sense input below target charging during engine operation. Also, no significant change detected in battery voltage during active test of generator output circuit.

51 A lean air/fuel mixture has been indicated by an abnormally rich correction factor.

52 A rich air/fuel mixture has been indicated by an abnormally rich correction factor.

53 PCM Internal fault condition detected.

54 No camshaft signal detected during engine cranking.

55 Completion of fault code display on Check Engine lamp.

63 Unsuccessful attempt to write to an EEPROM location by the PCM.

64 Catalyst efficiency below required level. (Same as code 72)

65 Power steering high pressure seen at high speed. (2.5L only)

72 Catalyst efficiency below required level. (Same as code 64)

77 Malfunction detected with poser feed to speed control servo solenoids.

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:42
anonymous

Not really, QatariLady. Next we shall have a look at the ignition system and the ECM (electronic control module). There is a plug to which we can attach our OBD2 reader and with the appropriate computer programm we can exactly say what is wrong. So, don't give up so early.

By QatariLady• 8 Oct 2009 13:35
QatariLady

"Go and have the injectors cleaned and make sure the pressure valve either on top of the fuel pump or at the end of the fuel rail is working. If nothing helps, check the fuel filter either on top of the fuel pump or somewhere along the fuel lines. If that doesn't help the oxygen sensor, or the crankshaft positioning sensor, or the camshaft positioning sensor, or the throttle position sensor, or the MAP (Manifold Absolute Pressure) sensor, or, or, or, may not work properly."

Yeah ..and if all else fails, ask for a divorce.

By einstind• 8 Oct 2009 13:35
einstind

Nice Joke.Thanks for sharing!

By smoke• 8 Oct 2009 13:32
smoke

Women who dont know how to take care of their cars and do regular oil changes or remember to refuel their cars deserve to commit suicide. I think the world would be better without them :)

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:31
anonymous

Go and have the injectors cleaned and make sure the pressure valve either on top of the fuel pump or at the end of the fuel rail is working. If nothing helps, check the fuel filter either on top of the fuel pump or somewhere along the fuel lines. If that doesn't help the oxygen sensor, or the crankshaft positioning sensor, or the camshaft positioning sensor, or the throttle position sensor, or the MAP (Manifold Absolute Pressure) sensor, or, or, or, may not work properly.

By Lion_King• 8 Oct 2009 13:27
Lion_King

MD, Do we need a TapRoot analysis here, then I am in... lol

By pmcorrea• 8 Oct 2009 13:27
pmcorrea

She could also be waaaaayy over due for an oil change. The combined engine heat and ambient temperature could have caused the engine to lock up.

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 13:26
svelte_saggi

yeah and that's why magazines don't want individuals who get to the root of the problem writing their advice columns....if they did,you men could trigger quite a few female suicides,u know!

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:21
anonymous

But he forgot to check the fuEL level. Maybe she ran out of petrol? Women do that. They also complain about the iron not working until they are advised to plug it into the power outlet!

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:19
anonymous

Bingo Smoke....and the problem was with the car...not with Sheila's Hubby ....Right?

By smoke• 8 Oct 2009 13:18
smoke

We men stick to the root of the problem...we give better advice than women.

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:16
anonymous

Yeah Khanan!!! Only a MAN can help a MAN ;)

By Khanan• 8 Oct 2009 13:12
Khanan

:)

____________________________________________________

Have Courage To Live.

Anyone Can Die.

By svelte_saggi• 8 Oct 2009 13:11
svelte_saggi

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2009 13:08
mjamille28

lol saggi now i know why hahaha.. :P

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2009 13:08
anonymous

That's TRUE :)

Log in or register to post comments

More from Qatar Living

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Let's dive into the best beaches in Qatar, where you can have a blast with water activities, sports and all around fun times.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

This guide brings you the top apps that will simplify the use of government services in Qatar.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

this guide presents the top must-have Qatar-based apps to help you navigate, dine, explore, access government services, and more in the country.
Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

Stuck with a week-long holiday and bored kids? We've got a one week activity plan for fun, learning, and lasting memories.
Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a sweet escape into the world of budget-friendly Mango Sticky Rice that's sure to satisfy both your cravings and your budget!
Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in  high-end elegance

Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in high-end elegance

Delve into a world of culinary luxury as we explore the upmarket hotels and fine dining restaurants serving exquisite Mango Sticky Rice.
Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Celebrate World Vegan Day with our list of vegan food outlets offering an array of delectable options, spanning from colorful salads to savory shawarma and indulgent desserts.