Unwanted baby advice/attention

do you know what the sad part is, its the attitude, that i dont care, it wont happen to me.as long as it happens next door, its not my problem. this sick attitude has to change and everything will be fine. yup ignorance coupled with stupidity, carelessness, arrogance is bliss.

that none of the big baby manufacturers haven't funded Public Service Announcements. Like really, don't you think spending a couple of bucks on advertising...something along the lines of those awful cigarette commercials we have back in Canada. Sales for child car seats would go through the roof. Anyways...as they say "Ignorance is Bliss".

while on the subject of child safety, do you know that no child under the age of 8 or 12 is supposed to be sitting in the front passenger seat. i have seen mothers holding 2 kids in the front seat, whats worse is they have their seat belts on and the kids are loose.

the concept of carseat and child safety in the car is non existant. the traffic authorities should start an awareness drive on this matter.

what is surprising is that there is a law supporting part of this issue, but no one pays any heed to it, or is it just plain arrogance, that nothing can happen to me, dont know, but i do wish that something is done regarding this before some kids get hurt.

Hmmm...I don't even think the babies should be in laps either...back or front. It's just scary. Especially with the way people drive here. There should be a law that you have to have a car seat in your car before you leave the hospital after giving birth. People could donate their old car seats to those that couldn't afford one. That would be great.

I had a guy back into me one night...which I'm not sure why he did. I would think he could see my headlights. Anyway, all I saw was his child bounce up in the air. I felt awful. There was only a tiny bit of damage to my car so I told the man to use the money that he would have used to repair my car to get a car seat. I'm not sure he understood me though. My tone was very nice so hopefully at least that got across to him.

You just hit the nail on the head.

"I sometimes just want to tell them that when all of the people here are putting their babies in carseats, then we'll talk."

That is exactly what I would be saying. I read an bit in the Gulf Times in the section where people write in and complain about stuff. There was a person complaining about the lack of child restraint systems in vehicles and noting that people were obviously not aware of how children become projectiles in motor vehicle accidents. He was complaining that there was a general lack of knowledge on child safety in cars...anyways another gentlemen wrote in noting that he too agreed there was little safety for children. He didn't agree with women riding in the front seat that for children's safety to improve women should be in the back seat where they belong holding the children on their laps.

Take advice from people who have demonstrated knowledge.

I can understand what you are feeling, but I feel you are taking this too seriously and giving it too much of importance.it can be overwhelming when our mom and mom in law advise, let alone strangers, but it does happen and by the response in this thread, most have been subjected to it. of course there are a lot of issues to be resolved where child safety is concerned, a whole new thread can be started on that subject.

if it bothers you so much, just ignore and walk away, they will probably assume you dont understand what they are saying at all.you got to be strong about this. dont let them affect you.

I had a c-section and was out of the hospital within 2 days. I felt well enough to go out when he was just 4 days old so we did. I have been taking him out pretty much daily since then. I remember people telling me he was too young to take out too. I know they mean well but I don't like it. I don't like all of the advice. I can handle someone giving me one piece of advice but not overwhelming me with it. Its exhausting. I sometimes just want to tell them that when all of the people here are putting their babies in carseats, then we'll talk. I thought at first that it was because the parents did not have much money then I saw BMW's and Mercede's with kids bopping around in them. Its so dangerous!!!

this place is filled with nice people who have loads of wisdom and would not shy away from imparting them on anyone. they all mean well and wish for the best, i guess that is very clear, that no one wishes to advise anyone wrong, its just the perspective of each one, what they consider right or wrong, some times it may match our view point, sometimes not.they are all the more concerned when there are babies involved.

like i had said earlier, lets all us mothers of young kids, keep our ears open, listen to all that is being hammered onto us, and then decide whats the best for our babies.you never know which advise we may actually have to use at some point in our life.

until then chill, the mother knows best.

I so know what you mean! My daughter was born in April, and people were just mortified that I brought her out in public after 2 weeks. You would have thought I was the most incompatant mother of all time considering I was apparently able to overdress and underdress my baby in the same outing!

My least favorite is how when she makes the slightest peep they scold me saying that "your baby is hungry! she wants milk! feed her!". I wonder what they would have done if I had pulled up my shirt in the middle of the mall and started feeding her. :) HA! Generally I would just let them rant, smile, then walk away. (ok, it took me a couple of months to get to that point)

Anyway, now she's 6 months, and things have gotten much better. Now, the same kind of women who would scold me whenever I went out now are thrilled to see her! They want to entertain her and hold her. She thinks it's wonderful, and as long as I can keep my eye on her it's nice to have a break! I think when we go back to the US she will have major culture shock because she won't always be the center of attention when we go out in public.

Can I just say, as a mere man, that this one of the most instructive and interesting threads I've read here.

Ohh munozchi, just ignore!!

You're right!! I can't believe you actually cried. This makes me sad. You shouldn’t care.

Take it easy..really this is nothing. See, in the Arabic culture especially in the older generation in term of such situations we don't really have this "it's not your business" thing.But of course you always have the choice not to follow such mistaken guidance..I won’t myself!!I’ve heard a lot of comments about worst things like my Abaya and alike. I just smile and thank and walk away.. Being a western(or looking different in whatever way) makes it happen less because of the language obstacle and alike..so hey,you're kinda lucky there ;-)

They don't mean to hurt you at allll .They mean all good really.

Butterflyyyy,

"next you are going to tell me that if salt doesn't work to soak it in bleach..., so she stops sucking, and breathing all together"

looooooooool very funny! hehehehehehehheheh!!!!

:-D :-D :-D

I am a mother of 4 children. I have had my last 2 here. When my third was a baby I took him out when he was about 2 weeks old to the City Centre. I was followed by a woman tutting and muttering in to the toilets where she chastised me for bringing such a young baby out etc etc.

I don't know why, but I defended my self to her ... and afterwards I too cried (it's those blinking hormones).

Some of the advise we get given here is incredible ... I was also once told to give my baby iron as she was too white (this was at 4 months of age and both myself and husband are white skinned people)

I have learnt to smile now ... people mean well, it's not done maliciously. It's just that we don't do this in our own country as it's rude (unless you're a motherinlaw!)

This is all part of the experience of living in another country and experiencing different cultures and ways.

I do feel for the first time mums though who experience something like this. But try and remember they mean well.

just we were at the women hospital-and as we are coming from cold country- we are not wrapping the babies as much as qataris do here - so several women shouted at me :"haram -haram "- and they showed that my baby should be covered more.

I am very rude to such people -I completly ignore them -and walk away .

I can not stop and explain them, that how much I am laughing when I see little qatari children wearing fur coat -and it is 18 C ...

About SIDS - I read a study- which is not advertised much .It is a simple chronique vitamin C deficiancy ... what makes the heart of the little ones stop .

hey, its not unheard of, and let me assure you they did not mean to hurt you, its just every one has their way of babycare, like indians religiously follow the swaddling business, no matter what, but u cant argue with the elders when they tell you bcos thats all they know, and its a tried and tested method for them.

my daughter masha'allah, has a birthmark on a very visible part of body, and from the time i was on the way to the recovery room after the delivery, till today,she is masha'allah one year old, i meet some one or the other who says that i must have eaten something during my pregnancy, but being an educated person and with all the information we have available to us,i know better.yup at the time, immediately after my delivery, i went pschyco, thinking about it, but its just everyone's pearls of wisdom. u know i dont even have to be with my kids, if i strike up a conversation with anyone new, i get advice regarding kids. so next time dont cry, smile and say thankyou, bcos at the end of the day you are the mother, and only you know your child best, no matter what anyone says, you will never do anything to let any kind of harm ever blow its way near your child, so cool.

advice will never end, you never know some advice may actually help at times, so just listen to all and when there are elders involved in a discussion, dont bother to defend or argue, you know what you are doing, you are not crazy to do whatever you are doing. this place is a very family oriented and a closeknit plae, people have old cultural and traditional values, so just smile , it gives them respect and they feel they have served society. be happy in the knowledge that its your baby.

Maybe beaten sounds too much. She gave me a smack...

Last week, as I was in the city center and my daughter was happily in her pushchair sucking her thumb a man came to me and told me to cover her thumb in salt so she would eventually give up the habit. Imagine! I was like, yeah right, next you are going to tell me that if salt doesn't work to soak it in bleach..., so she stops sucking, and breathing all together...

Another time I was beaten (beaten, phisically assaulted!!!)by an elderly mad woman, in the gold souk because it was cold (20 degrees, Cold????) and how dared I to take my baby out in such a freezing weather conditions.

It happens, and so what. They mean well. Really. They love to give advice and to be helpful. They do it out of kindness and so it should be appreciated. Even if the advice is WRONG, even if they are what we would call "plain rude", they don't mean to. I suggest you smile and thank them and forget about it. Never argue. And many times the advice has been really good and helpful!

Wow, we've had 2 who were born and raised here and never anything of the sort. Next time I suggest you say "excuse me, I'm busy" and walk away.