Understanding Men a Little Better... maybe?
"BECAUSE I AM A MAN..."
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. The AA is not an option. I will win.
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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of Holy Communion.
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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys cumin is a spice and not a bodily function !!! )
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or sport. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too.
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
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This has been a public service message for Women to better understand Men!!!!
Maria, Expand on your theory, let it grow.......the story i mean..
Hahahahhahaha ... very good attack .. but watch out .. they won't leave u alone .. hehehe ..
after all Men has ONLY 2 Faults:
1- Every thing they say
2- Every thing they do
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http://www.showcaseyourmusic.com/LittleGuitarist
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
(A little story:..........
On her way out of the shopping centre she pass a clothes shop with a newly erected sign" 50% off everything".............)
Mrs. Smith fancies anything 'erected'.
I think us men are havng a hard time here, is it national attack men day today, we may have our faults, but sumthing i cant understand about the "queens of the planet, we are the best, most perfect, never make a mistake lovely females" is:
When out clothes shopping, why do you always enter the same shops 3 or 4 times, even though you have seen the dress of your dreams 4 hours ago in the 1st shop you entered!!!
A little story:
Mrs Smith is out clothes shopping one day when she recieves a call on her mobile from the local hospital;
Mrs Smith, its the chief nurse here, i have some bad news, your husband has been involved in a serious accident, can you come quickly to the hospital?
I'm on my way, she replies.
On her way out of the shopping centre she pass a clothes shop with a newly erected sign" 50% off everything".
She asks herself should or shouldnt she have a quick look in, she goes for it, with the excuse that she will blame the traffic for making her late. After almost an hour looking through the bargins she makes her purchase and heads off to the hospital to see her critically ill husband after his accident. Upon entering the hospital, she is greeted by the female doctor, who asks her to sit down.
"is it bad" she asks the female doctor?.
The doctor replies, " it is, im sorry to say we done every thing we could, but your husband will now need your unlimited care, 24hrs a day, around the clock, there will be no more shopping trips or holidays from now on,im so sorry.
The women looks at the doctor with a tear in her eye, and says "are you kidding me?".
The doctor then replies, " Of course i am, hes dead, now lets have a look at what you bought!!
Starseed, may I take the liberty to add some of my observation:
1. Because I am a man, I have to keep my hands in the immediate vicinity of my crotch and every now and than keep checking if my 'lil buddy' is alright and functioning.
2. Because I am a man, I will cover my crotch first when attacked even if you are aiming at my head.
STARSEED............
I DISAGREE WITH ALL PARAGRAPHS THAT YOU LISTED ABOVE...WHY YOU ASK, ITS OBVIOUS, "BECAUSE I'M A MAN!!!!".
Haha, keep em cuming.....
I thought its for children
now does it apply to women also
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Makes me remember one friend who always say that... "women should be seen and not heard..." :-/
Ah! Yeah yeah, I forgot the screwdriver. Nuts, I *knew* I could never be a man.
Because I am a man I must recall every victory my rugby/football/cricket team has ever achieved in team history, but manage every year to forget the date of my loved one's birthday. Because I am a man I am also completely oblivious to the signal clues around me-- cake inscribed with 'happy birthday', cards, flowers, more phone calls than usual.
to get married...whehehehe
First, I think you're still young and should enjoy bachelorhood.
Second, don't you know that MOTHER-in-laws (maybe the "CURSE" men has to live with once they get married) can also be a powerful ally?
That is really a good one ... I'm a man and i admit it .. 95 % of wut u wrote were right ..
the most one i loved was:
"Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too."
That was really gr8
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http://www.showcaseyourmusic.com/LittleGuitarist
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
really sorry!! I was writing two posts at the same time...
sure, i just have mistaken!!
Senti, does that mean you want to join in as well OR are you being mischeivous and... well I just want to know if that's your thumb.
Again thumbs up.
"Drink Beer Save Water"
Sure Starseed, my pleasure . *Thumbs Up*. (From a mere mortal - earthling to a heaven cruiser).
maybe one day we can meet :)
(qatarisun said lol, Maria!! ...
This one I loved most of all:)
Maria is Maria and Starseed is Starseed;
Never shall the twain meet.;-) Cheers.
This one I loved most of all:
"Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?"...
Namabiru, GOOD input!! But thank God, I hate TV, so never care even where is TV remote...lol...
and keep that screw driver handy just in case it has malfunctioned....
Because I am a man, I will not only insist upon holding the TV remote, but continually testing the channel button to make sure it hasn't somehow magically misfunctioned in a 3-second resting interval.
who are u calling old - huh?!!
Why do u want another wifey anyway - expensive business? :)
u have just scared away a potential sweet wifey to b.
u u u incorrigible old _________...:D
good idea Corne :D
After reading this I don't want to get married anymore!! lol