Ultimate One Night Stand Etiquette Guide
By Kamala Kirk
Chances are, you've been in this situation. Or, if you're too goody-goody to admit it, you've had a "friend" who was in the same situation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, either way. Whether it be a drunken blur from a fraternity party or a flirtation from across the bar that went a bit too far, and you wake up to find yourself next to a guy that looked a lot more like Leonardo DiCaprio ten shots ago, you find yourself in the ultimate of awkward situations. Don't lose your cool, whatever you do, and just follow the following set of guidelines which will help you get through this moment.
10) Don't give him the whole "I've never done this before" routine. That will just make him more likely to think of this as a repeat occurrence for you. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. You know in your heart whether or not this is in your nature, and it can be your little secret. You should feel free to forget that number too, if you like. And if the guy asks you if you've done this before, simply say, "It's not normally my nature," give him a smile, and change the subject. Enough said.
9) Don't overstay your welcome. You wake up, look at the clock, and you should already be glancing around the room, eyeing your belongings. Don't wait around in bed, especially after he gets up. Don't hang out while he takes a shower either. When the guy leaves the room to take his shower, he secretly is hoping that you will leave during that period of time. Unless he specifically indicates that he would like you to stick around, don't assume. Another indicator of him wanting you to stay would be if he actually invited you to shower with him. I still say you should leave, even when offered the invite. You don't want to seem too clingy or eager. Plus, that shower could be just another testosterone-filled excuse so he can score an extra morning session before he starts his day.
8) Don't attempt to engage him in conversation. Not all guys are morning people, and having a conversation with a stranger you just woke up next to can be one of the strangest and most uncomfortable experiences.
7) Don't offer to leave your number or ask him to call you. When men want something, they will get it themselves. If he has any intention of calling you, he will ask that you write down your number before you leave. Obviously if you say to him, "Do you want my number?" he's going to feel bad if he says no, so any male would feel the safer choice would be to have you write down your digits, and then they just go straight into the trashcan. And you will be waiting by the phone for a call that will never come!
6) If possible, try to leave before he wakes up. It will make you that much more mysterious. And if he really likes you, he'll attempt to find you. He'll ask around, maybe go again to the same fraternity house or bar that you met at, and he'll look for you. Guys will go to great lengths for a girl they really view as worth the effort.
5) If he does invite you for breakfast or to hang out, even if you really want to, thank him but turn down the offer. If he has any real interest in you, he will try to set up a future date with you. Besides, do you really want to sit across from the table from him in broad daylight with last night's makeup still caked on?
4) If you don't remember his name, don't ask him what it is. That will look very bad on your part. See if he remembers yours first. That's a true indicator as to how much interest he really has in you.
3) If you happen to wake up in his frat house and find yourself heading down the "Walk of Shame", don't act embarassed or ashamed. Simply roll your eyes, act like you couldn't care less, and walk out with your head straight up in the air. You have nothing to be ashamed about.
2) Don't ask him "how you were" last night. Chances are, he probably doesn't remember. And if he does, he will say something about it.
1) Don't get on your cell phone while you get dressed in front of him and tell your sorority sister that you're "in some random guy's room and can't remember how crazy last night was." Save the gossip for when you have left and are well under way.
Follow the list of guidelines and you'll ease out of any sticky one-night stand situation with finesse!!
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LOL...believe me, the person who sent this to me never seemed like someone who appreciated a sense of humor. Now I know!!
I wish you had posted this earlier though;-)
looks like are are eager for ONS lol
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
Interesting.. LOL
since when did you start helping people with expert opinions and tips on hmmm......... LOL
alright winn.. whatever you say.. and errr thank you for explaining more to me the meaning of "trend"...:P
you want to go back to your own topic or prefer to dwell more on the "analysis".."trend" comment of mine?
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Owen: Sure Ma'am, the week hasnt finished. But a trend analysis, does not need a particular time period to elapse. A 'trend', for your kind info, is an indicator to where something is moving, n even if a coupla more posts start on this before the end of the week, it would not be sufficient to indicate a trend towrds posts on ONS, taking into account the total number of posts on all other topics in QL.
Somebody told me, "You are what you eat".Now I know why I'm nuts!!
SwissGirl: Yes there are things other than s*e*x and yeah people have been posting of all the other stuff too...just in case you have failed to notice.
About 'most of them'(a very vague expression) thinking with something else, sorry, I decline to honor that comment with a response it doesnt deserve.
Azilana: This ONS thread started 'bcos' there was a previous one here. But More than that I liked the humor in the write up. Hope you get the point. :-)
Owen: More than a coupla dozen posts started this week in QL. Only two, in my knowledge, are about ONS. How does that constitute a trend? Please Enlighten me.
Somebody told me, "You are what you eat".Now I know why I'm nuts!!
been in the cave...waiting for a one night stand experience..lol..
seriously, i just got back from vacation.. :)
winn..the week hasn't finished yet..
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
....
no comment on this
I have fast connection and get results quickly
How are you? am always online and offline. Where have you been?
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
KH..you are fast on researching or this were already researched long time ago and just saved in your favorites.. :D
long time no hear..
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
The link: http://nymag.com/guides/etiquette/17332/index1.html
Love & Sex:
What obligations does one have after a one-night stand?
They correlate directly to the expectations raised the night before. If you wooed your one-nighter to bed with promises of Central Park picnics and weekends in the Hamptons, you are obliged to follow through. But if you made no false promises in order to close the deal, then you simply need to be polite. If the liaison takes place in your own apartment, let your new friend stay the night and offer to cook/pay for a quick breakfast, but don’t dilly dally in your effort to get to that place you “need to be” the next day. If the tryst is at the other person’s place and you wish to depart, engage in light caressing and conversation for at least twenty minutes. If you decide to sneak out at 5 A.M. instead, leave a YOU WERE GREAT LAST NIGHT note on a Post-it or napkin. Don’t ask for a phone number if you have no intention of dialing it, and don’t leave yours if you plan on accidentally making the “6” look like a “0.”
How do you politely determine the level of commitment of a gay couple?
One approach, of course, is to do it the same way you would for a straight couple: Ask how long they’ve been together; determine where Party A lives and, later in the conversation, ask Party B if he lives in Chelsea/Park Slope/Hell’s Kitchen, too; ask one of them if he has a dog and listen to see whether the other speaks about it with a tone of ownership. Cohabitation isn’t necessarily a sign of commitment, though: Many gay men have open relationships, so the only surefire way to know the level of commitment is to offer to go home with one of them.
Who pays the bill on a date?
The asker pays, unless the woman does the asking—then the man should pay. If the check’s on the table and her suitor hasn’t moved for it, a woman should allow him a one-bathroom-trip grace period. If it’s still there when she comes back, she should split the bill but is entirely free to silently ruminate about what a cheap jerk he is. (For same-sex couples, the asker really does pay.)
When can you get together with your friend’s ex?
The simple answer is never, for the sake of simplicity, good karma, and world peace. However, if you suspect this could be a case of Romeo-and-Juliet love without the suicide, there are certain requirements that should still be met:
• The statute of limitations has passed on your friend’s right to be possessive (three months for every year they were together). A man should wait longer to do the asking, not out of politeness to his ex but so he doesn’t come off as a dog. A woman can always pretend she needs a shoulder to lean on when what she really needs is a tumble in the hay.
• The uncontrollable feelings have been discussed in a considerate and sensitive conversation with the friend. Initiating said conversation falls to the pursuing friend, not the ex.
• The friend has moved on and is in a wholly satisfying, happy, healthy relationship.
If you start dating someone you met online, at what point should you take down/hide your personal ad?
Taking down your personal ad, like referring to someone as your “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” is a step that should be taken once you have reached Mutually Acknowledged Monogamy. You can’t make any assumptions until you’ve had The Talk: Until you utter or hear the words “Let’s be exclusive,” you can’t expect your partner’s ad to come down.
How do you respond to an online personal message from someone whose picture you don’t like?
If you’ve established an e-mail connection before seeing the other person’s photo, which then reveals a mullet or other disturbing feature, you must suffer the consequences of jumping the gun. Set up a very brief coffee date and hope that the person doesn’t photograph well.
At what point in a flirtatious conversation should you mention you have a significant other?
If you have a suspicion that your conversation partner would take his clever remarks elsewhere if he knew you were officially off the market, then it’s only fair to release him to said market. Casually mention your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife in passing, but don’t belabor the point: No single person will miss that sign, and if he continues, it probably means he’s actually interested in having a conversation, but not one in which he’s battered over the head with reminders of his partnerlessness. (If you keep chatting for upwards of an hour, it’s well within his rights to forget about your boyfriend/girlfriend—because it appears that you have, too.)
How do you decide who gets what restaurants, bars, and friends post-breakup?
Distinguish between those acquired before and during the relationship. What was yours before remains yours afterward—the same goes for your ex. As for items, book clubs, pets, and dining preferences acquired as a couple, the person being dumped gets first dibs on everything—as a general rule, the one whose heart has been put through the blender claims the social detritus of the relationship. Except for friends, of course—they make their own decisions which side to choose. As for that mythical unicorn, the mutual breakup? Those freaks of nature clearly don’t need any help.
How do you respond if you’re straight and a gay person asks you out?
Laugh and say, “I don’t think my girlfriend/boyfriend would approve.” It won’t become awkward unless you become patronizing. (“Oh, that’s so sweet! I would love to go out with you. It’s so unfortunate that I’m straight. I wish I were gay! I mean, not like that, but . . . ”) If you’re not sure if you’re being asked out, just drop an unmistakable hint into the conversation referring to your heterosexuality.
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
most of them are thinking not with the brain but with the little things between the legs.
looooooooooooooooooool
seems everyweek, there should be a pattern to follow on opening threads on QL.. :P
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
interesting :-P
SG...you are asking WHEN?.. Never!.. :/
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
when you guys wake up and realise that there is more in this world then just s*e*x??????
how are you??
n yeah the point no.9 really made me laugh out....reminded me the One Night Stand post of yesterday by Korly!!
Somebody told me, "You are what you eat".Now I know why I'm nuts!!
This has already been said a million times, I'm sure, but men need to keep their big, stupid mouths shut during a one-night stand. No talk about keeping in touch. No talk about "next time." It only sets them up to look like assholes when they don't follow through on things we didn't care about in the first place—until they mentioned it. Once they say it, then we expect it. If they are trained that to get sex they have to say things they don't mean, then they need to retrain their big, stupid mouths. Women like sex just as much as men. There are many things to do with those mouths instead of talking crap.
Women are culturally trained to feel rejected if a man doesn't "like us." If men really care about not being asses, then they shouldn't say stuff they don't mean—and they should follow through on whatever they do say. If you don't want to follow through, don't say or do anything to the contrary. It's nicer to not leave a woman open to a minor rejection.
Never take her number or e-mail. If you don't have a way to reach her, she can't feel bad if she doesn't hear from you. And only give her yours if you can handle having her use it.
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
ksarat...i had sent u a PM...no reply?? :-)
Somebody told me, "You are what you eat".Now I know why I'm nuts!!
I must say this is one of the most interesting things I have read...
Good read I must admit...
Cheers buddy!!!
...any guidelines for men?
"...You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, Ha, Ha..." Donkey